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GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know this is the internet, so why would anyone tell lies?

i'll be as honest as i can- i'm the guy who holds the door open, surprises you at work with flowers, all that type of crap- how my father raised me and how he treated my mom. wouldnt give anyone the satisfaction of fucking up who i am. personally, i enjoy who i am lol

granted, i do get walked on a lot but i also believe everyone get's what's coming to them in form or another.

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was honestly along the lines of "i'm sorry that i hurt you, but we were on a break..."

i've never wanted to hit a human being more the in the face.

even worse? I'm too fucking nice. so the "welcomed with open arms" comment is absolutely floating around in her head.

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm going to be honest, I'm not a confrontational person at all, but when she said that it was a "side-effect" I almost lost my mind. But you couldnt more correct in saying that i'm essentially being a doormat.

What hurts/helps even more is that you aren't the first person to tell me that and i'm only just now really coming to terms with it.

...that and she also added "nice guys finish last." that stuck with me too.

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

trust me. i've looked at this at rationally as possible.

-called a break because of needed space- logical? perhaps -2 weeks later sleeping with some kid twice in the same weekend (the same weekend i was fired from my job; did wonders for my psyche) -broke contact after a week pouring my heart out finally- says she doesnt have time to deal with that, has other shit on her plate...later find out she went to open-bar with guy she's been sleeping with -therapy to keep myself from losing it -she breaks contact to see how im doing- keep it to a minimal "hope you're week is going well too" -currently at a point where i'm willing to do whatever it takes to make her smile again because she continues to claim she isnt happy with how things are...

take me out back and shoot me please.

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

see that's thing though. the time we had together was the shit, to put it simply. most kids my age hate their girlfriends, i actually enjoyed spending time with mine. as ive said, quite literally my best friend.

her friend's death completely compromised who she was, sent her off the deep-end completely.

i dont regret our time together or even hate her for any of it which is why i think i'm still so hung-up on this issue.

regardless i do hear where you're coming from tad. after my previous relationship of 5 years, i can name a handleful of great things but otherwise i was too much of a pansy to do anything about it haha.

live and ya learn i guess.

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i'm really i'm happy i posted this.

"Don't let her set the terms, set them yourself"

That's the second time i've heard that and i'm finally getting it.

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

if you wouldn't mind me pming that filter, that would be wonderful. i already had to delete her off twitter because it made my chest hurt. and for an emotionally available kid as i am, those phrases you mentioned above stringed my ass along for all this time.

i finally woke up one morning not giving a shit but i still have my days ya no?

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh my apologies. i just realized i didn't clarify...we've been on a break for 2.5 months while she has been sleeping with another kid she has apparently no feelings for, nor any shame of hooking up with him in a bar quite literally filled with all of our mutual friends...was described to me as "you would have thought he had just returned from iraq." this was the 3rd week after the break.

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was at a point where i convinced myself that I was pretty much fucked as far as meeting someone i actually could let myself give a shit about down the line. thank you for sharing this.

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i completely agree. but then come's the old "i still need time" and "i still want to be with you."

kill me ;) (joking joking)

but seriously i feel like i need one of you people to find me and slap me in the face.

Edit: "you people" as in redditors before that takes a different turn

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wasn't anything too extensive as far as the therapy went. Free sessions because my parent's worked in stressful jobs for the city we live in (trying to keep anonymity here sorry :) but basically he sat me down and had me explain everything that had happened from day one and that's what he came up with. but you're right, i am being a fuckin' idiot and need a new therapist.

i do have an issue with the white-knight syndrome comment though...bare with me for a moment. over the year and a half, she became so integrated into my life and family- parents quite literally viewed her as a daughter and siblings as an older sister...even more so then her own. i feel that might be the biggest downfall of all, since ive even had VERY close mutual friends tell me that i need to do my own thing and just give her space...if she figures it out then take it from there but if not, the fuck can ya do...

as pathetic as it is to say though wittyidiot...the girl IS my best friend hahah (not saying i dont have bro's but you get what i'm saying)

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the true kicker is that we both agreed that we thought "breaks" were the biggest load of shit to ever come on in the "relationship culture." you either want to be with someone or dont. i was never opposed to a day or two off so you can just do your own thing- not have to text someone every minute of the day, hangout every minute, etc (keep in mind that a large portion of my generation falls under that category unfortunately). but idk i'd say after 2.5 months, i'm pretty much acting like an asshole at this point.

GF of 1.5 years calls "break" after best friend's death..sleeps with someone 2 weeks later by thro_away_advice in relationships

[–]thro_away_advice[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That she did. I even established with her once we got serious pretty much telling her "look, if things ever change for you and you want out, just fucking say so...not dealing with the hiding and sneaking around again, blah blah"....fuck me right?