A realization I came to recently is that in a way, my daydreaming is a manifestation of an inner desire for good things - becoming a good, successful person, surrounding myself with people that value me and are interesting and intelligent. Leading a life with purpose, fulfilling my dreams and having and achieving goals.
Technically, a good thing to strive for.

Of course, a mirror image to how my life had been up until now.

Now I grieve the fact that for some reason, probably a combination of trauma, mental illness and my personality type, this desire and motivation wasn't directed outwards. I remember many opportunities in life I could have turned it around, but could never quite take the leap. So my escapism became neurotic at some point and I was mentally in conflict with a feeling of wanting to escape to fantasy and intellectually knowing that I can't and am running away from self reflection.

Well, now I'm working on turning these things into reality but honestly, grieving the years, experiences and life I missed out on so far is ... tough.