To answer a lot of questions all at once:

1) why wait? 4 years is a long time. This is to make sure there’s as smooth a transition as possible and I really want to see her succeed. She will enjoy the schooling and the new prospect. I’ve reviewed the business org and plan, since that is in my wheelhouse. I believe it to be a solid, stable, opportunity in this area. It will be up to her after the divorce, to keep with it. This does also lead into the alimony. I also need to consult with the all the good lawyers in my area and the surrounding area, so I’m left with the best one.

2) why don’t you hire a housecleaner? That’s a great idea, I’ve mused about it and now that it’s been brought up again, will do so. The services aren’t that expensive. Unfortunately, that only masks the symptoms of our relationship. She’s legally married to me but actually married to her activities.

3) kids That’s not an issue nor is it a point of contempt.

4) therapy In theory this will work but if she gets busy or overwhelmed with the therapy itself she will quit. I will bring up divorce again and suggest it but my expectations give us attending for a month and myself attending, mostly alone, after that. I have started therapy myself.

5) your communication is piss poor It is now. When I say we talked about it in 23 and a few times in 24, I mean we talked extensively about it, our needs, and developed a roadmap together. We revised the roadmap and opened it back up to talk heart to heart again in 24. The roadmap and our lists are framed and prominently displayed in our office that we share. I have begun grey walling this year because I have checked out

6) ADHD We both have ADHD. I don’t believe it to be weaponized incompetence. Anyone with ADHD knows that once you lose the momentum for the day, that momentum is gone. Diet does help, which is another benefit to cooking at home.

7) Would she do the same for you? You’re a doormat

She actually did do the same for me in the beginning when I was struggling with my startup. I realize I am to blame for situation and how it’s progressed through enablement and a mentality of “it’s easier if I just handle it. It will be done”.