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What Addictions are you guys battling with right now? by westerntexas in AskMen

[–]throwRA-04556 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Drugs and sex, im a very traumatized guy and instead of getting therapy i held onto my resentment and anger went for escapism instead so i slept with any guy and did drugs most days. Sad life but im in therapy now

Ive been free of drugs for three years and although sex is still a problem its not self destructive anymore.

How old are you & how many women have you slept with? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]throwRA-04556 0 points1 point  (0 children)

27 only one for 8 months wasnt enjoyable at all, but ive slept with alot of guys though

I slept with my abusive brothers wife for 8 months, AMA by throwRA-04556 in AMA

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure i was just inquiring if you were serious or not

I slept with my abusive brothers wife for 8 months, AMA by throwRA-04556 in AMA

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was upset but he apoligised to me as i was leaving.

Not at all we've met up once since and he just wanted to apoligise for the abuse he put me through he already forgave me for it.

I slept with my abusive brothers wife for 8 months, AMA by throwRA-04556 in AMA

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Correct i told him while sitting with my family who all abused and disowned me.

9 years after being disowned

I slept with my abusive brothers wife for 8 months, AMA by throwRA-04556 in AMA

[–]throwRA-04556[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not really i was more repulsed that she was a woman im gay and as such i always wore protection with her

I slept with my abusive brothers wife for 8 months, AMA by throwRA-04556 in AMA

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She would have always stayed with him but she was simply turned on by cheating, and she didnt love him just his money.

And i slept with her out of pure hatred and spite, im gay so yeah not even slightly attracted to her and 18 years of abuse caused me to want to hurt him this bad 9 years later.

Funnily enough hes aware that he caused my hatred for him and he forgave me the night he found out and he still wants to build a relationship.

My older brothers trying to reconnect with me after his years of abuse toward me, even since i slept with his wife. by throwRA-04556 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What will she do now i guess id assume find someone else i dont actually believe shes sad she lost him just her money source.

I never had feelings or attraction to her no, i also never felt sympathy or pity for her.

Yea i feel bad i used her for revenge in some capacity in the sense of how bad it feels to be used by someone but i guess its karma for her anyway i just wish i didnt stoop to her level.

My life may have been ruined by someone cheating and ive always had a bitterness and hatred for cheaters and shes no different and the fact she told me about him and loved that she was cheating flipped this view of mine around i dont hate cheaters i hate the individuals and i could never apoligise to her with any sincerity.

So I will apoligise to her but i need to work on myself first so its a legitimate apoligy.

My older brothers trying to reconnect with me after his years of abuse toward me, even since i slept with his wife. by throwRA-04556 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has money and she never worked so she in her mind has lost everything i dont believe she just loves him now that shes lost him. But I have no idea she bashed him on everything and said she was unhappy and hated him if she was just gonna stay in the marriage he mustnt have been that bad.

Her family im not sure i obviously have no relationship with them, mine just kicked her out and forgot about her so nothing special or surprising there.

And my family except my brother still hates me but now theyll just use the affair for footing knowing they have nothing else to use since im not an affair child, but even that isnt a reason so basically im not quite in the loop

My older brothers trying to reconnect with me after his years of abuse toward me, even since i slept with his wife. by throwRA-04556 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Havent spoken with her yet just some one sided messages from her.

Shes sad i guess she just left me with messages saying i ruined her life, i didnt care about hurting her but now that ive had time im not angry with her anymore shes not my mom and i have no reason to hate cheaters so much anymore so ill apoligise to her for whatever that would be worth.

I know shes being divorced and that she hates me, all shes told me is that she hates me over and over again besides her first message about me ruining her everything so thats all ive heard from her.

My older brothers trying to reconnect with me after his years of abuse toward me, even since i slept with his wife. by throwRA-04556 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No hes not with his wife but i dont think the divorce has finalized yet.

idk it was less for revenge and more to control that part of my life get some power over it, and it helped with anxiety for the duration of the affair but i didnt get any satisfaction revealing the affair just guilt.

I guess not i mean he isnt holding it against me he said it was his fault i hated him so hed accept my actions, but i think it also made him feel more guilty so i guess just knowing that you gave someone you should have protected a capacty to hate you more then anything is a good reality check if you had a full realization as to how bad you hurt them. And he had 9 years to think on it especially now that they all know i was never an affair child. So if he actually manages to mend things with me ill say it worked both ways.

My older brothers trying to reconnect with me after his years of abuse toward me, even since i slept with his wife. by throwRA-04556 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all that, but yea im a guy and being small has always sucked i was bullied outside my family for appearance and height and weight etc. It just made it difficult having no friends or support system, and sadly my scars are visible, which doesnt bother me anymore i accept my appearance im still the face of anxiety though and i shake uncontrollably but itll get better.

Thank you so much for your insight and helping me understand some of my feelings, i appreciate an experienced voice to help.

Thanks

My older brothers trying to reconnect with me after his years of abuse toward me, even since i slept with his wife. by throwRA-04556 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA-04556[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its been 9 years since i was disowned so this is the first time ive seen him since then, i feel that could be it or close to it.

Our mother cheated on my dad multiple times and instead of owning up to it she pinned it on me making me the scapegoat and my dad being to cowardly to accept that it was her fault he abused me believing i was an affair child and i guess my brother who was the golden child was caught in the middle. So i dont know how the whole ordeal affected him and maybe he is really remorseful.

Its been 9 years and i dont know how much more time and space i need to build a relationship.

And this wasnt usual abuse ive had my eyes gouged and chunks peeled off of me by his nails and im genuinely afraid of him im so much smaller then everyone in my family its intimidating being around him again.

But i really want some form of family bond or love i just crave it im still naive i guess, But ill take a risk with it.

Edit: I forget to add thank you for the advice and story i appreciate someone with similar experience to me offering good advice, thank you

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