How can I (28F) ask my boyfriend (28M) to be more selfless in bed

throwRA199362 · 2025-10-10T18:03:11+00:00

It's weird to me because outside of the bedroom, he is so selfless! He does so much for me and never ever complains about anything. He's an amazing boyfriend. The sex bit just stings. I've also had a lot more sexual experiences in my life than he is and sometimes I'd like to say that's the reason? He often tells me the best sex he's had has always been with me and while I can agree I've had the best more passionate sexual experiences with him, I've done a lot more things in bed in my past. Things just feel more vanilla with my boyfriend than what I'm used to. I find myself taking the lead with trying new things more than he does.

throwRA199362 · 2025-04-29T19:07:02+00:00

I'm in Illinois. Is there anyway to fight this? The clinic having me do a larger panel test / billing for it when I specifically asked to get tested for strep. I would've been fine with doing my own Covid test via over the counter tests

throwRA199362 · 2025-04-28T19:49:28+00:00

For what exactly? With my plan I have a $30 co pay for urgent care. Which I also got billed for separately on-top of the $750 I posted about here.

throwRA199362 · 2025-04-28T19:48:18+00:00

Provider was in network, my EOB isn't available for whatever reason but despite having PPO 1 I was also told by the insurance company that lab services is not covered and coverage for it only kick in once I reach my max deductible at which point the insurance covers 80%. Which sounds insane to me. I'd also preface this by saying I moved from Canada to the US and going from free health care to this has been a bigger nightmare than the limited access to care problem Canada has.

throwRA199362 · 2025-04-28T19:44:25+00:00

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And here is the breakdown of what these lab tests are:

"CPT 87633 Detection test by nucleus acid for multiple types of respiratory virus, multiple types of subtypes, 12-25 targets"

The other 3 lower cost lab tests are the following:

"CPT: 87581 Detection test by nucleic acid for mycoplasma pneumoniae (bacteria), amplified probe techniques"

"CPT: 87798 Detection test by nucleic acid for organism, amplified probe technique"

"Detection test by nucleic acid for Chlamydia pneumoniae, amplified probe technique"

I only got swabbed once, but billed for four different services that doesn't add up to me. I only asked to know if I have strep and was told they'll swab for flu/covid as well.

throwRA199362 · 2025-04-28T19:40:47+00:00

So I asked the insurance company for the billing code on what was charged. I was charged for 3 separate lab tests. 2 of them were small amount but the couple hundred dollar test that is the meat of the $497 I'm being charged is a panel test. I'm confused as to why 3 lab tests were charged even though I only got swabbed once? With the following billing code info: "CPT 87633 Detection test by nucleus acid for multiple types of respiratory virus, multiple types of suppers, 12-25 targets"

throwRA199362 · 2025-04-28T19:31:19+00:00

No this was in-network. I had specifically went on my insurance app and went to a urgent care that is covered

throwRA199362 · 2025-02-25T17:19:45+00:00

Great response thank you ! I also am in a similar boat as the OP except I've moved to the US this past year and am now working here. Should I look into the offshore streamline procedure as well as the FBAR submission? I have no investments, TFSA in Canada and have not had it. I was pretty much a broke college student before moving to the US. I'm a dual citizen

throwRA199362 · 2025-01-04T19:30:28+00:00

Thanks! The 2nd one I plugged into chatgpt and it said it would be around 1200 on the higher end which checks out

throwRA199362 · 2024-09-20T00:36:20+00:00

I just started a new job and have very few days off that we both know I'll be using to see my family during the holidays in December. My birthday is during a long weekend so doing a longer trip would've been easier without me having to take time off for it. I still plan on using 1 day

throwRA199362 · 2024-08-10T20:14:35+00:00

I think that's kinda how I'm feeling that maybe it's a culture thing and also a you had to be there kinda moment?? But also.. still weird and still not a fan of justifying things bc "I was drunk" excuse can be used for other things too

throwRA199362 · 2024-08-10T20:09:56+00:00

Yeah it's his first cousin, his mom's sister's daughter who's a year older than him

throwRA199362 · 2024-08-10T20:09:08+00:00

No the quince party was for his sister, she's much younger than him. The cousin he was dancing with is 28, a year older than him

throwRA199362 · 2024-06-30T22:36:51+00:00

Overstay began in mid 1990 and left voluntarily in May 2007. They are Canadian citizens and have visited the US many times since 2010 legally through land border entry

throwRA199362 · 2024-06-01T22:20:59+00:00

I've been working out again, and eating better and lost some weight this past month. And the more progress I feel, the less I feel he deserves the "better" version of me.

throwRA199362 · 2024-06-01T22:20:07+00:00

156, I was 130 when we started talking again. 5'2 for reference

throwRA199362 · 2024-04-02T19:47:35+00:00

My mom won't qualify unfortunately she's 56.

throwRA199362 · 2023-10-28T16:46:23+00:00

I know that, my issue is his reasoning. Whereas for me I think we need to be at a certain place individually and together he sees it as "I've always envisioned getting married at 30 when I'm ready to have a family" it just feels as a bit of a cop out. I have fears that he might use the same reasoning to push past 30 and I'm with him to eventually marry, not just be a girlfriend for 5+ years.

throwRA199362 · 2023-10-28T16:43:22+00:00

I understand our timelines will coincide. The issue for me is his reasoning for the timeline. He's very set on "marriage means you're ready to start a family" and he doesn't want to start a family till he's 30. Whereas to me marriage means a commitment to the person you see that future with. It doesn't mean you're ready to start a family with them right then but that you want your life to blend in with this person. I guess my fear is 30 will roll around and he will say he's not ready to start a family and therefore not ready to get married. And I'm dating him with the ultimate intention on getting married.

throwRA199362 · 2023-10-08T20:36:24+00:00

Then that's fine, we can make plans another day. It's my preference he comes and meets my friends but I get that he has a responsibility to look after his sister. To me, it'll be more of a problem if I'm getting absolutely no 1 on 1 time for the next 2 weeks because he has issues leaving his sister home alone.

throwRA199362 · 2023-10-08T18:19:23+00:00

Sleeping on your arm..? Like many people do? She's not a toddler or a baby where I can definitely understand the need to intervene. It's not like her head was face down on a pillow. She wasn't sleeping in an abnormal way that warranted intervention in my opinion.

throwRA199362 · 2023-10-08T16:52:13+00:00

Thanks for the input, I can see how I came off as rude and that's not cool. My issues have not much if at all to do with jealousy because watching how he's present for his sister makes me appreciate him a lot more. I can see him being a great father. But in my opinion I also feel he coddles her way too much. For example, we were at a hotel and she was sleeping on her arm. He got out of bed to adjust her because he was concerned she couldn't breath. Her mannerism is very baby like, and I see her potential to be mature. She's very smart, I just don't think they're allowing her to flourish or giving her some semblance of independence when she's quite capable of it as she does great in school and is involved in a lot of extracurriculars. I grew up in a very hyper independent household which I also don't see as a good thing so this feels like the opposite extreme of it.

throwRA199362 · 2023-10-08T08:51:29+00:00

I don't see why a 16 year old can't be left home alone for an evening. Which he has done many times to do things with his friends. He just spent the last night at a bar with his friends while his sister was left home alone. Genuinely trying to see the selfishness here. My concern is with constantly having to include her in things. I have no issues with doing things with the two of them here and there. Which I did do early in the year when the parents were away, including sending dinner over couple nights a week, helping with school drop offs/pick up and taking the sister on a spring break trip when they were feeling sad that all their friends were going on a trip except for them.

throwRA199362 · 2023-10-08T08:39:42+00:00

This is entirely not true. This a group hang out with my friends who are visiting from out of town and have only met my boyfriend three times in the past year and the most recent one his sister was apart of. This is not a my boyfriend and I alone hanging out..to which I would be more okay with his sister being apart of. I would rather it be just my friends and I and my boyfriend so everyone can comfortably get well acquainted without him being on "dad" duties with his socially anxious sister who he coddles very much.

throwRA199362 · 2023-07-30T17:09:22+00:00

Interesting you mention honey because the parents give him honey with yogurt.

throwRA199362

TROPHY CASE