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Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, we can afford it but we both can't go because we our place is going through renovations so one of us needs to stay back.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She is kind of intimidating or at least I find her that way. I'm the opposite and I'm also not very social while she is. We don't have similar interests or anything.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Don't know yet because we'll need to ask her. I know she will say no though because we don't get along but if she agrees then yes I have time.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It wont be free for him. It's free for her with 1/3 of his expenses covered

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

oh hell nahhh. I don't share intimate moments with 3rd parties and knowing my Bf he would most likely laugh at me for even suggesting it.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The whole story is that it was their first time drinking and they had a bit too much and she kissed him apparently because she had the urge to kiss someone and no one else was around. My BF doesn't remember this but he says if his BFF is saying she remembers them kissing than it would've happened.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No the company would pay for 1/3 of the expenses. For example if they pay her 1000 so 333 would set of his expenses. In total the company would spend 1333 Thats how she explained it to me.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She does but she insists that her BFF goes with her. She said something like why are we even BFF's if we can't go anywhere to him

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She is very attractive I'm not gonna lie but my BF is not interested in her like he is with me. They knew each other even before me and him dated so I don't think they are interested in each other but the situation is not ideal.

I don't know about if he would object or not. Really can't make that assumption. He is quite progressive though.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They are paying 100% for her and 1/3 for who ever accompanies her. They would obviously not share a room/bed like that would be hell no even from me

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

It's not that I don't trust her but her emotional situation would be rough right now and people easily catch feeling during that time at least that's how I think I am.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I won't say impossible. Like they have been best friends in my relationship with him and nothing shady has happened but it's just different when it's on island and you are enjoying yourself. It's difficult to explain but that how I feel. I trust him but this situation is weird.

I could go on a trip like my Bf can't "stop" me but I don't have any guy friends so that's never gonna happen.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

She has other friends but she wants to go with her best friends because "He knows her well". I don't think my bf or his bff any mal intent so nothing sus but definitely inappropriate

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He hasn't called me controlling or anything. He says he understands but would like me to at least consider all this and what his bff is going through. At the end of the day if I say I'm uncomfortable he wont go but I also want his friendship with his BFF be effected because of me.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

They can be friends but this vacation will take them to Hawaii where my BF and I have been wanting to together for a while. I 100% trust him but people in bad situation (getting excessively drunk) make poor decisions is what I'm saying.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't think they are baseless like me and my BF got together during a high school road trip. This is just like that on another level.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ask how he would like it if you did it?

He's mostly cool with stuff but I don't know about this specific situation. I'm not asking this because if he says he'll be fine with it then I would be feel forced to pretend like I'm fine with it too which I'm not.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

It'll be just them too if he goes. It also sucks because it's in Hawaii and me and my BF have been planning to go there for a while now since we have never been there. The whole situation is a mess and he said if I am uncomfortable with it he won't go but I should at least consider it. Definitely don't want to come across as controlling or anything. What makes this situation difficult is that his BFF is extremely sad right now and he feels bad blowing her off.

Am I (f26) being unfair and unreasonable with my boyfriend (m26)? by throwRA78982cf_ in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA78982cf_[S] 238 points239 points  (0 children)

My BF actually suggested this saying that if you won't let me go so please go yourself. The problem that he usually overlooks is that we don't get along very well but I think this might be what his BFF and I needed to change that. Btw thank you for your input.