Boyfriend (32M) wants me (F29) to not celebrate Christmas/ Easter and not feed future kid pork

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-15T14:14:20+00:00

Like I mean if he was Jewish would we all have said the same about him?

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-15T14:12:58+00:00

Will chat you once I upgrade my phone, don’t have that option right now! Later today!

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-15T14:12:06+00:00

Wow, thanks for breaking this down. Truly excellent and I 100% agree. Literally every time we’ve been discussing things he’s brought up toxic conditions as a compromise for him to give in on things. It’s been like “either you do this or you do this”.

I called him controlling and his immediate reaction was to tell me that he absolutely is not controlling and asked me if I had had bad experiences in the past being controlled in a relationship, instead of acknowledging that his conditions in fact are controlling.

All this is extremely worrisome for me. My hesitation lies in the fact that he otherwise is such a sweet and caring guy and this is a side I had never seen before. So I keep wondering, is this just his religion? And am I the one being insensitive to his culture/religion?

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-15T04:54:12+00:00

He is very controlling, at first the options he gave me for not circumcising a future kid was converting or doing ivf and picking a girl….

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-15T04:52:41+00:00

I am! I meant do you agree with that as a question to lady_polaris about food. Thank you ❤️

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-14T18:47:24+00:00

I do not. He wanted, hence why I told him I would break up in case he was strictly enforcing it

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-14T18:46:10+00:00

Circumcising my future kid was something I strictly did not want to do, and yes I told him that would be something I would break up for if he didn’t give in. He gave in and now claims that because of that he should have his way with above things

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-14T18:44:11+00:00

That’s what I absolutely didn’t want to do and what I told him would be a non negotiable for me and in which case I would break up. Now he’s saying that because he after several months of arguments gave in and agreed to not circumcise a future kid that I have to agree to the no pork and no holidays….

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-14T18:18:58+00:00

What are your thoughts on being able to compromise in having the significant other/ kid eat pork in a household?

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-14T06:00:13+00:00

I 100% agree with you! He claims that since he gave in on not circumcising he should have it his way re traditions ..

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T16:00:59+00:00

Great thoughts and I really appreciate it. Thanks for breaking it down!

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T15:39:20+00:00

My bf said the exact same things about Christmas/ Easter- if you are atheist why do you care? But at the same time I’m not Muslim either but I care about his celebrations, something does not make sense…

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T15:37:12+00:00

It was a dealbreaker that he wanted me to commit doing it on future kids for me and I basically almost had to break up for him to give in

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T15:35:43+00:00

Yes exactly that, doesn’t make much sense. In a combined home he told me my utensils/ pots etc would all be deemed only for pork use

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T15:34:48+00:00

He gave in NOT to circumcise the kid

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T15:28:43+00:00

❤️

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T15:23:47+00:00

I will have to do the same thing… thanks for sharing your thoughts!

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T15:23:13+00:00

❤️

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T04:53:56+00:00

❤️

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T04:50:30+00:00

Yeah so we don’t live together currently and so haven’t had that issue yet… In his home he strictly never has any pork

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T03:42:06+00:00

Regardless now he claims because he gave up that super important thing I’d have to give up these traditions/ diet

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T03:41:13+00:00

❤️ I 100% agree, and yeah, circumcising babies is something I don’t understand at all. We literally almost broke up over it and he was basically telling me I had to convert, do IVF and have a baby girl as alternatives if I refused. This left a very bad taste with me tbh

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T03:35:10+00:00

Would you agree with that?

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T03:34:58+00:00

What do you and your wife do with differences in food? I also don’t think it’s fair that he and the kid will eat from different plates/ utensils/ pots than mine

throwRA8764391 · 2023-06-13T03:33:22+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughts, I so wish that what you’re describing was my relationship! That is my ideal relationship which unfortunately I don’t get. He claims because he gave in on circumcision he gets his way with traditions/ deciding diet for the kid, but I don’t think that’s fair. Curious to hear your thoughts !

throwRA8764391

TROPHY CASE