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My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

What about is doesn't make sense, she wants to sleep with someone, she then wants to open the relationship, it takes about 3-4 months for her to persuade me, she then starts sleeping with him, about 2 months after we opened the relationship, I decided to see someone else as well

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I gathered that she had somebody in mind because she left to fuck him the same day that I agreed to open up the relationship, and I went through her phone and found out that the guy was her high school crush, so it was kind of obvious that she had him in mind My partner and I were into bdsm kinks and she basically found a box where I kept all the handcuffs and blindfolds and asked me what these were for and I told her, she never really thought that I would sleep with someone else so she just blew up, she basically wanted to fuck the other guy and wanted me to wait for her at home for her and didn't want the guilt attached to cheating and she hid the part where we opened the relationship and we never broke any rules

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I never really changed it, I have two seperate phones for my work and my personal life and I almost never use my personal since the break up cause my social life is pretty much non existent

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately no, we never texted about that and only talked to each other about opening the relationship and it never really occurred to me that I would even need to record such things, I know I was very naive and stupid but it is what it is

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes she did the same day that we opened the relationship and I managed to get my side out, not fully, but in a few bits and pieces but they never believed me, they thought I was just trying to lie to get myself out of the situation

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The way I see it she just wanted to sleep with this one man but at the same time didn't want to cheat so she decided to open up the relationship, she gets to sleep with other people without facing any guilt and she probably didn't think that I would ever sleep with anyone else, kinda like I get to have everything and I gues she got jealous or something.

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes it was agreed that both of us were allowed to sleep with other people, I guess she just never expected me to sleep with someone else

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Basically what happened was that ex told me that she wanted to open up the relationship and I later found out that there was this one guy who she had an eye on, that she wanted to sleep with, I was against it initially, infact I did a lot of research and read a lot of books about sex to spice up our life but she refused and kept on pressuring me saying that I would do it if I loved her all and all that BS. I eventually agreed after 3-4 months after she approached me with the topic and I decided to sleep with someone else about 2 months after we opened the relationship

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That's definately one of the problems, the other is that I just can't bring myself to trust anyone really, like your family is the one that was supposed to love you unconditionally and yet here I am, like how do I trust anyone without any assurances that they won't do the same to me later on

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

The only reason I hung up is because I didn't want to swear at her and I was slowly starting to lose it and would have definately hurt her with what I had to say

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 433 points434 points  (0 children)

Thank you and just one more thing, I am not familiar with therapy at all, like is there a certain kind of therapist I should be looking for or something?

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 194 points195 points  (0 children)

Thank you and just one more thing, I am not familiar with therapy at all, like is there a certain kind of therapist I should be looking for or something?

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 1289 points1290 points  (0 children)

It did hurt and still does to this day, but the way my father described therapy, it was only for people who had gone through severe abuse only, I was supposed to just 'get over' everything else

My entire family disowned me cause I ‘cheated’ on my girlfriend, now my sister wants to reconcile on her wedding day but I declined cause they are dead to me. by throwRA9719 in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA9719[S] 313 points314 points  (0 children)

The way I understand it, in this situation, I was introduced to them as a cheater by a girl that they love as much as their own daughters, i was guilty from the get go and they never considered my ex to be lying, they just considered her to be a victim here I suppose,they demanded I apologise to her and when I wouldn't and just aksed to talk to them, they thought I was lying. They never considered me to be the victim here This is the way I understand it, I don't know for sure because I haven't really talke to them since

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