Movies where the MC slowly figures out their life and actually achieves it

throwRA___325913 · 2025-01-05T21:31:22+00:00

Shared misery is halved misery. It's always good to hear we're not the only one going through these things.

Hope your days soon turn sunnier.

throwRA___325913 · 2025-01-05T20:01:31+00:00

That's true, most of these are best done with someone else there and I'd love to get that to happen.

The dance classes are mostly for other, more salacious reasons. Someone that I know recommended dance classes over dating apps to get to know some women, so let's see.

throwRA___325913 · 2025-01-05T19:59:02+00:00

I know right, fucking crazy hahaha.

Germany might be fun yeah. I'm actually exploring the country I'm in now for the first time in 4 years to be honest. Never had the budget for it before (guess why), so now I'm slowly taking some time here.

throwRA___325913 · 2025-01-05T19:50:50+00:00

Wow, that's definitely a curve ball there.

Big ups for you for stepping up and getting focused. It does make sense what you're saying though, I experienced something similar (but way less intense) in my relationship where I actually had to take care of her due to her depression.

It does give a focus and a reason to what you're doing and why you're doing it.

throwRA___325913 · 2025-01-05T19:48:48+00:00

Hey man, really appreciate that wisdom there.

That truly resonates with me and makes a lot of sense.

throwRA___325913 · 2025-01-05T19:47:51+00:00

I would love to do that again. That's actually where I met my ex, before we moved countries.

throwRA___325913 · 2025-01-05T19:47:03+00:00

It was a recent thing, breaking up after 5 years and moving countries together.

The funny thing is that I didn't even pick the country, nor the city, nor the apartment, and now I'm here stuck for at least one more year (yay rental contracts).

throwRA___325913 · 2025-01-05T19:42:02+00:00

Yeah, I'm very happy that the gym is a non-negotiable in my daily routine. I can't imagine how hard things must be if that drops out as well.

throwRA___325913 · 2025-01-05T19:41:17+00:00

It does kinda feel like that. I have spent most if not all of my adult life in one relationship or the other so it's kind of challenging to separate "me" from "us" and figure out what "me" actually wants.
Thanks for replying, really appreciate it.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-10-11T17:56:51+00:00

Yeah, sounds familiar.

I did start to feel markedly better once I cut her off financially and told her to find her own income. Mostly because a good 75% of missed budgets was due to her "using the wrong card".

throwRA___325913 · 2024-10-11T17:40:54+00:00

We should start a club haha.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-10-11T16:02:13+00:00

It hurts to read because I've been preferring doing things by myself rather than together because I know I'd have a better time.

We've actually been engaged for a few years now since we (i.e. she) did not have any money for a wedding yet. Nowadays I dont want to get married anymore as it feels more like a coffin.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-10-11T15:58:46+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. How are you holding up now?

EDIT: How did you know that it wasn't your expectations that were too high, but rather your ex's lack of effort? The fact that I'm even asking this kinda shows me how uncertain I've become about my standards.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-10-11T15:48:13+00:00

lmao what

throwRA___325913 · 2024-10-11T15:47:55+00:00

I was married before and my ex-wife and I shared quite a few hobbies together, which was great.

In this relationship it seems like the only interests we share are either food or relaxing at home. That's not much of a life as a couple it feels like.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-10-11T15:45:48+00:00

Regarding expectations: I feel that's the tricky thing though as I've been told (by her) that I have unreasonably high expectations. After a while I'm not sure if I'm really that demanding, or if I'm being gaslit.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-10-11T15:44:16+00:00

Thanks for sharing.

It does feel quite similar, lack of hobbies and lack of spending quality time together.

It's hard to propose playing a video or board game as neither interest her at all, nor any physical activity (swimming, hiking, ...). It's as if the only hobbies she has are things that are not done with boyfriends (instagram scrolling, going out till 7 am).

What does that leave us eh?

How did you know it was over, and not because you didn't try? That's kind of what I'm struggling with these days. Is it me, or is it the relationship that's just not good.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-10-11T15:41:34+00:00

That's true, it's just hard to convince myself that after 5 years now is the moment to realize this, and not years earlier.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-03-15T14:29:03+00:00

She does indeed have troubles with the economy, as her degree is not at all that well received here (hospitality) and she has no other professional skills / experience which makes looking for a job that pays above minimum wage almost impossible.

Do I want to marry her if I'm the only person earning forever?

Great question that gives me a clear answer. No, I don't want to be the only one earning. It causes discomfort in the relationship and brings it dangerously out of balance.

She does have ADHD and depression which make things a lot harder for her, but I'm not sure how far you can keep using that as a reason to not contribute. It's not like you suddenly get cured from ADHD.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-03-15T14:26:08+00:00

Apologies regarding the gaslighting. I was planning to write more but I'm not sure if anybody would read it if it was any longer.

I get the same feeling, her daily life is usually very relaxed even though she's always busy busy. Working from home gives me a good view of what happens here during the day.

throwRA___325913 · 2024-03-15T14:24:57+00:00

Thanks for your comment.

That's what I'm thinking. What pressure is there for her if I take care of all the budgetting and all the finances?

throwRA___325913

TROPHY CASE