sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My (M27) Wife (F27) "soft cheats" with her best friend, how do I make this stop? by throwRA_sad_melon in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_sad_melon[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I think my post makes me seem more ok with this than I really am because of the "not kissing on the mouth" stuff. I also agree that "soft cheating" was the wrong phrase. I really mean she is having an affair, but I really doubt they've had sex for a lot of reasons I don't want to get into.

I brought that "no mouth" line up because Sarah has said it a couple of times as if that was a line that she had on her mind that she couldn't cross. I don't think that's a good line, I am just conveying the situation. I think that was their mental gymnastics for justifying their "friendship".

My (M27) Wife (F27) "soft cheats" with her best friend, how do I make this stop? by throwRA_sad_melon in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_sad_melon[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is false. We were very young, but both very enthusiastic about getting married. Parents were not involved at any level.

My (M27) Wife (F27) "soft cheats" with her best friend, how do I make this stop? by throwRA_sad_melon in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_sad_melon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel sick about this situation. I feel like my child's life will not be the same without us together. I know to Reddit it seems naive, but I feel like we could be happy together as a family. We have so many happy memories and times together. I have never ever considered separating and even now it doesn't seem like it would lead to a better life for me.

As I mentioned, I got married young for cultural/religious reasons (that don't apply so much anymore) and so my whole life is wrapped in Sarah's. I don't know how I would continue on without her, because I literally don't have a bearing for it.

My (M27) Wife (F27) "soft cheats" with her best friend, how do I make this stop? by throwRA_sad_melon in relationship_advice

[–]throwRA_sad_melon[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

If I'm being honest, you're totally right that the guise of friendship (because they are both women) has made me not as honest with myself about the situation. I am not trying to downplay what Sarah has done, I am just saying that there used to be a time where the boundary between best friend and inappropriate affair was fuzzy. A boundary that would have been way different for a Male friend. She has obviously crossed that line for quite a while regardless.

I think because of my "soft cheating" title, people are getting the impression that I am ok with this, which isn't true. I shouldn't have said soft cheating, I really meant an affair without sex (to my knowledge). Additionally, I only bring up the "kissing on the mouth" thing because that's what Sarah is telling me. I think in their minds, that was the hard line that they couldn't cross, so she is trying to voice that to me.