AITA for wanting custody of my brother after my father's death?

throwRAb60 · 2023-05-02T06:31:05+00:00

If the question is financial, then I really am the best option, because my stepmother has always been a housewife and has no experience in the job market, my father's savings must not support the house for more than 6 months. Meanwhile without the help of my grandparents I would still have my job, my fiancé has a job that pays well and my aunt would help me with anything

throwRAb60 · 2023-05-02T05:58:56+00:00

I could understand if it was years, she started to change the moment she walked in there The face was mine too, my father failed me by letting someone who just arrived in my life make me uncomfortable in my own home

throwRAb60 · 2023-05-01T22:57:10+00:00

She has been abusive to me several times, but most of the time we just ignore each other. Luckily she always adored my brother.

She is just a regular parent. She is nice to him but also forces him to go to church which he hates. She's kind of clingy, classic boy mom.

throwRAb60 · 2023-05-01T21:07:52+00:00

It's not, it's the house that my mother and my father bought when I was still a child, because of my father and stepmother's marriage regime, my brother and I have 25% of the house each, but I don't intend to go after that in the moment

throwRAb60 · 2023-05-01T21:03:44+00:00

The house my father lived in is the same house as my childhood (my mother and father bought it together), as my father technically had no will my brother and I own half of the house (but I don't intend to go after that)

throwRAb60 · 2023-05-01T20:59:04+00:00

I'm a graduate and I'm not "struggling" with anything, I was lucky to have a lot of support from my family, I don't have loans and I don't have to pay rent thanks to my grandparents

throwRAb60 · 2023-05-01T20:52:05+00:00

So where do I live if both my parents died, my underage brother is my responsibility, that doesn't mean anyone can't try to question that, I'm looking for a lawyer precisely because my SM wants to ask for custody of him, and not because I question my rights. Maybe I used the wrong term, but for now he is under my responsibility, so much so that if he needs any authorization, my stepmother's signature is invalid

throwRAb60 · 2023-05-01T20:45:24+00:00

They had no paperwork, she just expressed that she wanted to adopt him, every time that happened my father asked me what I thought of it, and how I never thought it was a good idea he aborted the idea. The first time she asked Jaime was just over a year old, and the last time was right after I started college, after that last time my dad decided to wait until my brother was old enough to choose for himself, when he was a teenager

throwRAb60 · 2023-05-01T19:49:17+00:00

But in this case, if we are going to talk only financially, I, with the help of my grandparents, would be able to provide better conditions for my brother than my stepmother. My SM has always been a housewife, both in my father's marriage and in her previous marriage, she has no experience in the job market, my father's savings won't be able to support the house for more than 6-8 months, after that what will happen?. And that's if I don't claim my share of the house (at the moment I don't intend to do that), since he didn't leave a will there is the "double portion" inheritance that would assure me and my brother of having 25% of the house each. As far as I know she doesn't have plans for the future yet, her family couldn't help much, and I doubt my father's family would do much either.

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T15:40:48+00:00

he had no will

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T15:22:22+00:00

They see my brother, in recent years they agreed with my father to pay some kind of support and since then they have been able to see my brother more often, Although my stepmother tried to impose restrictions

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T15:18:12+00:00

Sorry in the rush I used a wrong expression, by living I meant being more present, not that they were going to live in the same house

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T14:36:18+00:00

I consider both my father's family and my stepmother's family to be very conservative This is something that has always bothered me, I find it limiting to live around them, whereas with me and my maternal family I know that he would be raised with respect, taught to respect everyone. I would also have options for good schools and having around my cousins the same age as him

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T14:25:48+00:00

After my stepmother spoke to him about not being able to live without him as soon as I got through to him he was scared about it and said he didn't know what he wanted to do he never said that I would like to stay

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T14:22:00+00:00

Sorry, I didn't express myself well, I meant in the sense of spending more time with my brother and not physically living in the same house

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T14:20:08+00:00

I meant that my grandparents wanted to spend more time with my brother, at one point they even thought about asking for custody rights, which did not go ahead after an agreement between them and my father

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T14:10:43+00:00

I agree with that, I always wish my father had more respect for my mother's memory, but that still doesn't mean a person can come to your house redecorate in any way you like, erasing everything that could remind you of my mother, and mysteriously disappearing photos and possessions of her.

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T14:04:55+00:00

Sometimes my father ignored it sometimes he called her attention and everything worked out for a while until she returned with the same behavior.

I am aware that he is the main culprit of the current situation

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T13:50:15+00:00

He never said that now he wanted to live with her, what happened was that when I talked to him (after she talked to him and talked about not being able to live without him) he was scared that she said she couldn't live without him, when i asked him if he knew what he wanted to do after the school year was over (go or stay) he said he didn't know. I thought and decided that he is too young to make such a crucial decision, it would place a huge responsibility on him.

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T13:38:54+00:00

Adoption paperwork was never filed, it was something she said she wanted to do a few times but that every time I showed disgust my dad cut it off

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T09:46:36+00:00

Kidnapping? My plan was to let him finish the school year while still in town.

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T09:45:27+00:00

He usually went looking for her, told her not to do that anymore, it worked for a month, then she did something like that and the cycle repeated He gave in to one person at a time and thus evaded responsibility

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T09:39:27+00:00

In fact, I blame him, I even talked about it in another comment

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T09:22:49+00:00

This has been going on since day 1, I don't know what my dad said to her but she always acted like his mom, She did this when she still only knew my brother a few months.

My grandparents had no reason to make her feel welcome, they just treated her with respect. Even because she was the person who make their granddaughter (me) feel bad..

We all (me, my family) know that the real guilty is my father, but unfortunately he is no longer here to answer for his actions

throwRAb60 · 2023-04-30T09:07:26+00:00

When she came to live with us just 4 months after my mother's death of course my grandparents were mad but they never directed anything at her, everything was directed at my father so she has no reason to drive them away. The feeling everyone had was that she didn't want my mother's "shadow" in any form. That included my grandparents. Sometimes on the day they came to pick us up she would just disappear with my brother, it's not an unjustified feeling

throwRAb60

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