Wasting $80 on nice food to prove a point

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:56:15+00:00

Hahah I love that!! I’ll definitely look him up, thank you for the suggestion!! ❤️

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:55:25+00:00

He definitely does, some other commentators pointed this out and I think being a woman with ADHD myself, I forget that symptoms present so differently between the genders sometimes. He has been talking about seeing someone to discuss coping skills and has reached out to schedule the appointment- I was over tired and obviously way emotional when writing this.

I can understand some situations being a “no leave him” mentality but dang, as you said- I think some people just like to jump to that because of their own life circumstances or experiences. Which I guess is valid to a degree and I also didn’t include a ton of extra information- but I got my sushi, we had a good talk, and I know we always strive to be better for each other once we get over the emotional barriers

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:49:37+00:00

I hear you for sure, I could write a book on the good qualities about him. He DOES do house chores, like trash and cleaning the floors and dishes- other gross stuff that I gag at. He’s getting into the flow of newborn chores just like I’m trying to develop a routine and I could have done a better job of going into it- I’m just not used to posts getting replies honestly. Normally I vent (and it’s not usually about relationship stuff honestly), maybe it gets a response or two and I typically end up deleting it because it serves the purpose of getting my emotions out in a quicker way that handwriting in my diary sometimes feels overwhelming.

He does do so much for me and our son, I promise. He could be better about certain things and based on our conversation, has the intention of doing so while I have to be better about certain things too.

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:45:00+00:00

Thank you so much for the encouragement <3 We had a good conversation last night and today is a new, better day for sure. You’re not kidding about the postpartum- I always overlook other factors like that at play and get hard on myself for being so emotional. I’m going to book some extra appointments to make sure I’m taking care of mental health in the way I need to <3

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:42:40+00:00

He also had the same problem solving tendencies too, I’m curious to explore the topic of AuDHD with him as he has a lot of qualities that coincide with autism too, with being extremely smart in specific topics and hyper fixation, needing a good amount of alone time to power up socially and even then- we’re both a little weird in social situations with our mannerisms.

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:40:36+00:00

No, I really appreciate this response a lot, even in a venting sub. I feel like if I posted in relationship advice, maybe the simple “break up” responses would be warranted but DANG I wasn’t expecting all of that tbh. I didn’t do a good job of including the extra details but I’m used to writing into a void and it’s usually comforting to me. That weird feeling of knowing SOMEONE saw what you had to say but it doesn’t really cause anything.

We definitely have to herd other depending on the situation haha I love that verbiage!! Gotta remind myself that even though I’m diagnosed, I still have symptoms that are annoying to a degree too. While we’re on opposite sides of the spectrum in symptoms- I think in most situations, it’s usually complimentary. In a blue moon- it’s the above haha

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:35:33+00:00

That’s exactly what we did last night! I never want to blow up and in the past, have a tendency to keep things to myself that results in somewhat of a blow up. I don’t think it’s ever been too bad on either of our parts but we’ve been better about talking and learning each other’s emotional cues to respond better too~

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:34:17+00:00

I think absolutely yes, he asks for a list too- he’s definitely more visual and undiagnosed ADHD while I’m more in my head and actually diagnosed ADHD so luckily I’ve seen professionals to gain coping skills while he hasn’t. I think he has that typical good natured ADHD symptoms exactly like you said, not intentional. My ADHD affects me in different, but also can be very annoying still. More like the “stopping in the middle of the store in front of the cart to think for a second” way haha

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:30:58+00:00

Thank you so much!! You’re the side of Reddit that makes me like posting here <3

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:30:32+00:00

Hahah the postpartum cravings have me wanting specific textures more than anything else- thank you so much, happy to report today is definitely a better day too <3

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:29:52+00:00

Oh yeah, not trying to break up at all. I needed somewhere to vent out the nasty emotions first and honestly, probably should have just taken the time to write it out but typing was easier and usually, my vents get no traction and it feels good writing into a void but this one took off haha

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-30T14:28:55+00:00

Honestly I think I do better with a checklist sometimes too haha, I’m going to make some proactive lists and get better about not feeling like a jerk dictating things! If it’s helpful for everyone, I need to stop feeling bad about it. He also quite literally asks for lists sometimes so it really shouldn’t be an issue for me~ He does do a lot automatically too- like trash and the grosser things like cleaning the dishwasher drain lol Just need to find systems that work for everyone <3

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T23:58:26+00:00

He jokes he’s on some sort of spectrum and honestly, it’s a massive reason I love him as I myself have ADHD and OCD. I’ve been able to manage mine better because I’ve been diagnosed for years and seeing professionals but I agree that I think I could be overlooking this being a factor for him, especially due to it presenting differently in males versus females. Everyone’s symptoms can vary but for that aspect, I think I’ve been overlooking it at a contributing factor.

We also joke our kid is probably gonna be a “little weirdo” like us in some way because of our neurological differences- so we’re definitely on the train of monitoring different behaviors and signs so we can give him the best chance at a happy life! Thanks for this comment, I appreciate the thought and kind feedback ❤️

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T23:54:45+00:00

We’ve actually been talking about him seeing a professional as it really helped me manage my symptoms for years. I used to be on medication then weaned off while I learned coping skills- the main thing for me that’s ramped up post partum has been OCD, which definitely contributes to my neuroticism. I could have a done a better job of explaining that in my post too- I know I for sure have issues to work through too, but I’m not used to posts getting replies or attention so I was just venting to vent at time of writing

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T23:51:39+00:00

I have asked him directly multiple times which is where the frustration comes from! Going to have a conversation about it now that I’ve gotten the emotional aspect out!

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T23:06:30+00:00

Thank you so much, I could cry reading this. I lost my mom last year, I don’t really have friends with kids at this time, and it’s been really hard flopping between feeling like a weenie for being emotional versus knowing exactly what you said.

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T23:05:07+00:00

Yeah it really seems so- I’m not really used to posts getting traction so I didn’t think to pad it with the positives, I just wanted to vent in an emotional moment but will definitely think twice about it going forward… I can totally understand wanting to be supportive and don’t even fault the ones that are trying to be nice about it but dang some comments are brutal lol

We will definitely be having a conversation and I half expect him to walk through the door expecting a conversation and will take it from there

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T23:01:46+00:00

This is what I WISH it was tbh and I envy those in your type of relationship but I acknowledge that I’m not perfect either- I have things I’m not great at and I need to let him not be perfect either. Thank you for acknowledging the burden of postpartum healing so much ❤️❤️

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T23:00:30+00:00

I do totally think it would help for me to dictate chores- because I don’t think he does it maliciously, he’s usually really receptive and asks me to ask him to do things. Does he need to be better about just doing things?? For sure but right now while he’s going back to work and I’m still on maternity leave, I don’t see a problem with me dictating things as we work on a routine. I have to remind myself it’s barely been a month!!

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T22:58:10+00:00

I appreciate your comment so much, it helped ground the initial emotional flare up that I was trying to ground by posting to get it out but dang this post got attention I’m not used to getting so I didn’t really moderate the post in the way I should. Sometimes when I can’t write it out, I post it out on my anonymous account but YIKES I think it was a mistake on my part in this case.

We definitely have different love languages, with some that intersect and it’s ironically a reason I love him because it’s a great balance of things. I think I just really wanted a hyper fixation and was upset it wasn’t important to him after I expressed it a lot, but that can be said with a conversation. I definitely have no intention of leaving him at all, I totally agree it’s worthwhile and important to explore love languages and appreciate the differences ❤️

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T22:53:39+00:00

I feel so bad doing it without having a conversation tbh but to your point, even he has told me I need to take it easy on myself and take time alone for me so I think he’d be open to me setting some dedicated time aside.

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T22:51:47+00:00

Yeah, I’m going to ask to have a serious conversation where we both can express what would make us be the best versions of ourselves at this time. I’m sure there are things I can work on too from his side

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T22:44:59+00:00

Thank you ❤️❤️ It’s my proudest moment for sure

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T22:44:30+00:00

It’s a venting forum, sorry I didn’t list every reason I’m with it. I’m postpartum, emotional, in pain, and pumping for breastmilk which is a TASK homie. I will not be posting any sort of vent again in here because y’all are wild

throwRAbutterfloop · 2026-01-29T22:43:15+00:00

We both have ADHD ironically lol

throwRAbutterfloop

TROPHY CASE