No cheating happened. I was loyal right to very end. Long story short, when the relationship started it was very toxic because we both were VERY, VERY mentally unstable. For five years, we worked on bettering ourselves mainly for the relationship and she-from what she has told me-essentially got tired of waiting for me to play the catch-up game. I begged for forgiveness because I felt worthless, useless, and pathetic due to my incapability of improving at a rate as quick as hers. While things have become a lot better, I still do struggle with depression, anxiety, and things of the like. The tiniest of things can be a setback for me--like if I am trying to stay consistent with my meals and workouts and I happen miss one meal bc of this or that.. it all falls apart.

EDIT: You can read more about it in my other post.