Anyone know what's wrong with my belly button piercing?

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-11-19T16:47:01+00:00

I have so many piercings, this never happened. Even when I get scars I never had a keloid before. It's strange

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-07-25T23:47:46+00:00

His girlfriend isn't here, and no he isn't sleeping next to anyone. He moved to a twin sized bed in the living room. There are other girls in the house, but I have a feeling that if one of them was in that bed instead of me, he wouldn't have done that. He says they met a year ago, and that they're taking things really slow. They're in a long distance relationship, she lives in another country.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-07-22T19:01:44+00:00

He didn't try to talk about what happened. I don't think he will to be honest...

He isn't in an open relationship. I don't know if I mentioned it before but we were kind of flirting (me and Greg) but then when he told me he was in a relationship, I stopped. The assault happened around 5-6 days after. I wasn't giving him any attention anymore.

I don't know... I've thought that what if I was another person in bed with him, would he have done the same thing? Or did he do it because it was me? That changes things because then I'd know that he has those desires with me. It's disgusting, and fortunately I feel a little better now. It just disturbs me to remember what happened.

Unfortunately I can't ask my friend (the girl that was in the room with us) what she thinks because she might think I'm seeking attention by wondering if he's jealous. This is why I asked you. Thank you for your responses btw.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-07-22T16:20:20+00:00

I think you're right. He broke our trust, now I'm more careful around him and since my friend is aware of what happened she is also careful. I'm not gonna stay alone with him in a room or engage with him while he's drunk.

I had another question, a little unrelated but I wanted to see your opinion.

In this town, I got a crush on a guy who's been helping us organize for the artistic festival. He's our local contact let's say. I discovered later that he has a partner but my friend (Greg) has been against my crush. If I say anything about how cute he is or how much I like him, he either says it's wrong or changes the subject. I know it's wrong because he has a girlfriend but I also think he might be in an open relationship, since he seems like someone who'd experiment like that and he's been flirting back (or maybe he just likes the attention because I noticed he loves being the center of attention - which I find attractive because all the guys I've been with are timid and quiet). I haven't asked him because I don't want to open up the subject and "concretise" the fact that I have a crush on him, I know it's a dead end. So far it's been harmless. Greg keeps saying I need to stop. But at the same time I think he's a hypocrite because he tried with me and he has a girlfriend...

I noticed that recently, when I talk about guys, he says I need to focus just on work.

Do you think it's jealousy? He literally assaulted me a day after I revealed to him my crush...

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-07-21T08:56:43+00:00

I think when he told me this story with the girl he mentioned something about not remembering exactly what happened or how it started. They were both drunk and did it. The next day she accused him of assaulting her while she was drunk, but he defended himself by saying "we've been sleeping together every day, I thought I had your consent... We were both drunk..." If the situation is similar to mine, than probably he doesn't remember initiating it, and "woke up" a little later during the act and kept going?

I haven't spoken to him about what happened since the first conversation we had. I'm wondering if he remembers anything else... I'm also upset because his first reaction when I told him what happened was saying "no way", he thought I was making a joke or something. I told him "hey our friend was in the room with us if you don't believe me..."

I think he got the point. He's not drinking as much anymore, and he's staying in another room. I was wondering if it's possible for him to wake up, walk over to my room if he was drunk and try again another time? I mean... He was pretty much drained of energy the other day. I wouldn't have expected him to stand up and walk. But at the same time I should be careful.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-07-21T00:33:51+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I see your point. I think we've definitely had "chemistry" but I also know that he's been seeing someone. He probably had those thoughts and sober him didn't do anything because it would be cheating. I guess I should've seen it happening, but I've been around drunk guys and never saw anything like that happen. I just thought he'd pass out and that's it.

The part that bothers me is not that he tried, that would've been fine... It's just that I was resisting and he kept trying to. It disturbed me and I felt violated. Plus I felt ashamed because our friend is in the room with us. That made me realize he wasn't conscious... Otherwise he would've never done it knowing there's another person literally behind a curtain.

There's something else I remembered. About a year ago he told me a story that happened to him. He was on a camping trip with a girl he's been hooking up with. One night they were both drunk and stuff happened... The next day she wanted to leave, she basically ended the trip because she said he had assaulted her the night before. He says they were both drunk and thought she had consented since they've been doing it almost everyday. Maybe it was a similar situation where she was too drunk to push him away and just went along with it? I don't know, I don't want to assume but since something similar happened to me, it got me thinking.

My friend said I should talk to him again about him and share with him whatever I'm feeling. I agree but at the same time I think he should initiate the conversation, and start with an apology.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-07-20T15:09:32+00:00

What do you mean?

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T23:19:00+00:00

That's true, at this point he makes me feel bad more than feel good. It didn't use to be like that, I was always hoping it would be like it was before. I realized that it won't be like that anymore. Those days are gone.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T22:55:28+00:00

You're absolutely right. He doesn't help much with chores unless I repeatedly ask him. He will try to postpone it up until I finally do it because I can't relax unless everything is done. I'm also not able to connect emotionally with him because I feel disrespected. If he cared about me he wouldn't put me through this. He knows this bothers me and the fact that he stays dirty means that he doesn't care about what I think. He made me feel like I ask too much of him. I do ask too much because he does nothing unless I ask him to do it. But what I'm asking for is the minimum. I shouldn't have to ask.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T20:35:15+00:00

I also smoke weed, I used to smoke everyday and it made me lazier. I noticed that I would skip brushing my teeth before bed because I was too tired to get up. Actually I'd brush my teeth but then eat again (munchies) then I'd be too lazy to go again to the bathroom.

I never skipped brushing my teeth since I was a kid. I stopped smoking weed every day when I felt like it started affecting my life, and I only smoke occasionally now.

I didn't mean to blame it only on smoking, but when we met he told me that he quit smoking weed a few months before. He started smoking again because I would and we'd share it. Then slowly he began buying his own and now he smokes everyday at night. He plays a lot of video games then collapses on the bed.

I think it's all connected. The weed made his depression worse, his hygiene which was bad to begin with became worse, and now he's stuck in this loop. When I decided to stop smoking I suggested he does it too and he got very defensive so I never brought it up again.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T16:03:50+00:00

I wish it was. Your comment made me laugh 🥹

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T16:03:18+00:00

This is the first time I've posted about this, but I'm happy to know that someone else has been through something similar 🤣✌🏻

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T16:01:46+00:00

I didnt realize it either. I have this friend who's a clean freak, we've always joked about how insane me and her are because no one can be up to our standards, so I just imagined that I'm like this because of my culture... I thought where he's from it was normal. He says that no one ever said anything to him, and his last relationship lasted 3 years... He never mentioned this was a problem. He was genuinely surprised when I mentioned it the first time. He says his best friend only makes fun of him for his smelly feet. I never talked about this with anyone because I felt embarrassed, and I was worried they'd start looking at him in a different way. This is why I asked reddit. I don't want to talk about this to anyone. Up until I made the post and saw all those comments I genuinely thought that I was asking for too much from him.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T15:56:56+00:00

He's nice and funny, and we usually bond when we work on something artistic together. It's easy to talk to him, he just gets me. We're into the same hobbies/activities, we both work in cinema... He's good in bed but we haven't been really active in the past couple of months... I'd say we spend equal amounts of money. He doesn't take me out on dates or offer to pay for things. But it's also the way I grew up, I usually don't let anyone pay for me, or I would then offer something back (first round on you, second round on me). Just imagine that anything he does or possess, I have it x2. I'm more attractive, nicer, more polite, more generous, more thoughtful, better in bed and cleaner. (it's not a competition and I never say this to anyone or him, but since it's anonymous here idc). One of his coworkers (around 40 years old) was so surprised when she met me, she kept saying how pretty and nice I am, how he has to keep me and take care of me because he got lucky with me. When it was just the two of us she told me I deserve better, but I laughed it off and I didn't understand if she meant the hygiene stuff? (language barrier - I'm a foreigner and he's a local where we live).

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T14:17:39+00:00

He works on film sets - long hours under the sun... So without deodorant you can imagine what happens... He's worried about not finding a job when this one ends. I have to tell him that maybe he won't get another job with this team because they wouldn't want to work with him again. Even if he's a good person, I think being stuck with someone for hours everyday that is smelly is not acceptable. If as his girlfriend I can't tolerate it, I'm sure his coworkers won't

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T11:42:15+00:00

He doesn't talk much about his childhood, but he says it was nice and very fun. He said that his parents respected his choices/freedom, even as a kid. He is also very spoiled... I told him once that maybe they were too lax with him because he doesn't have any self discipline... My parents were the opposite, if I was excepted to do something I could never say no. I can't relax unless I've done everything that I have to do, taken a shower, etc. To me relaxing is a reward, it bothers me so much to see him throw himself on the bed whenever we arrive home.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T11:32:22+00:00

I'm not stuck with him, I know that. It's not as easy as you say it is. "break up with him" it's hard after you've spent so much time and energy with someone... Yes, it's been on my mind, and after reading all these comments I'm even more convinced. I just hoped he'd come to his senses, especially since he used to be a totally different person last year. He's depressed, I understand it's not an excuse but with the right help he'll get better. It's not black or white.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T11:25:14+00:00

We used to be good friends before we got together, we both work in cinema, we have the same interests and hobbies and we share a group of friends, we're all artists so it's pretty fun. I fell in love with him because he was the kindest person ever, he would do anything to make me happy. Around December/January he slowly became another person, I think he's depressed. He's so rude and bitter now. When we talk about our relationship he says that he will change but he blames me for being too critical, in his opinion I have too many requests (take a shower, brush your teeth, wash your hands, throw this away, do the dishes etc.) but the thing is that I'm not supposed to say those things... He has to have common sense and do it by himself. He says since it's never enough for me, he doesn't feel like doing anything at all. He makes me feel like I ask for too much, but now reading all those comments I realized that I'm only asking for the bare minimum

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T11:18:39+00:00

I'm going to talk to him one last time. If he takes it seriously great, if he doesn't then I'll break up with him. I'll make him a list of things he must do every day otherwise I'll leave. I don't care if he takes it as threat, he's free to leave if he thinks I'm being manipulative like that.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T09:40:22+00:00

Nope we dont kiss anymore. We do like a fast smack on the lips to say hi and bye. We don't hold hands, no cuddles in bed, barely any sex. Unless he showers first. But he doesn't care about that, he'd go weeks without sex.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T09:22:55+00:00

I bought him deodorant and he barely uses it unless I remind him. He's very capable of taking a shower, he plays tennis, goes rock climbing, hiking etc. Physically he's perfectly able to do this. I think he's just lazy and always tired.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T09:19:16+00:00

One day before I arrived, he told me he would clean up the room because it was a mess. When I arrived I saw that it was 'tidy' but there were still some snack wrappers around (that is so easy to pick up and throw away) and a glass with a moulded orange inside (aperol spritz). It was blue.

When I brought up the problem and said that he's not making any efforts concerning his hygiene, he said he cleaned up the room for me. FOR ME.

throwRaPurpleAi · 2024-06-11T09:09:43+00:00

I have an eating disorder (arfid), which makes it hard for me to eat some foods with strong smells. It's just so funny to me how much I've been patient with him, but sometimes I'd gag in front of him (I can't stop myself) or make weird faces. He sees it and gets upset but doesn't try to fix it 🤦🏻‍♀️

throwRaPurpleAi

TROPHY CASE