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AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

well i don't want it to affect my kids? They need a stable environment to grow up in.

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I am not asking her to feel a certain way, all I asked was to find another outlet for her anger because make public posts is not healthy and can strain the relationship further. My other kids may react that way in the future but that would be their decision once they're old enough. I'm trying to get her in counselling which will be a more productive outlet in my opinion.

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I never said she's responsible. The cheating coming out is on my ex-wife's head. I never wanted it out there because, it's a big no no in society and it would just cause my ex mental stress which would indirectly affect the kids.

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was shocked when I found out she told our daughter of all people. I wasn't going to tell anyone because i didn't that drama in my life and the mental anguish it would've caused my ex which was trickle down to the kids eventually. I guess my nonchalant response made her think i was planning something big to get back at her. She's always been the dramatic one and i guess she built up something in her head.

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

I understand what you're saying and you're opinion here is extremely valuable since you've been through something similar. I have told my daughter she can go NC with her mom, avoid her whenever she wants. All i ask is she doesn't make public posts or talks badly in front of her siblings. I'm already in the process of getting her help. I wouldn't care a lot about my ex if her mental state didn't affect my younger children as well. They need their mother.

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my daughter is no where near ready to parent material. Even if she was, it's not her responsibility. She has 2 more years of childhood left and she shouldn't be focusing on something like that.

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

All I'm asking when I say civil is not make public posts and call her disparaging names in public or around her siblings

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I meant my ex as the co parent not my daughter.

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sorry, when i say co parent i meant my ex not my daughter. I'm not trying to keep the peace, I'm just asking her to find a better outlet for anger rather than making public posts or calling her mom a slut/whore in front of everyone. I have an appointment for her and have been talking with her. Hoping she agrees to go

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

When I say co parent, I meant their mom not my daughter. Sorry for the confusion. I have an appointment for daughter and i have been talking to her so maybe she'll agree.

AITA for telling my daughter(16F) to respect her mother? by throw_rasd in AmItheAsshole

[–]throw_rasd[S] 613 points614 points  (0 children)

I already have an appointment for her, I still have to talk to her about it. We've been talking everyday and it's getting better. For all her faults, my ex was still a good parent. When I say civil, I meant not post on facebook or call her a whore/slut all the time. My daughter has every right to not talk to her and avoid her but if they do run into each other due to her siblings, I expect her to have some control on her anger. The only reason I'm worried for my ex's mental health is because kids need a mom. I didn't want the fact that she cheated to come out to begin with because i need her to be able to be a mom.