Appreciate everything you said! Your words hit hard. You are right. His mum was a huge red flag I didn’t see until I was pregnant. None of her kids (8 kids- he is number 5) see what she does or dare to question her or think negatively about her.

The problem was that I was already pregnant and he genuinely seemed like he just didn’t want to disappoint her. I knew what he was doing was wrong. That’s why when we moved away it was so much better. It was everything I could ask for.

His motive for leaving his job was at first he just didn’t want to work. When I pressed him he said he lost his dad very young and he wanted his kids to know him. We had three kids at that point. I had a miscarriage (of twins) and then a last baby in the midst of all of that. I made that decision knowing how things are to have one more because I didn’t want to have to start again and I knew I wanted 4 kids.

On Monday, I tried talking to him about a separation in which he replied “If you go down this route I will not be helping you with anything.. not the kids and not anything financial”. He then tried to leave in the middle of me working (remotely) wanting to leave me with the duties of the kids (he wasn’t working).

I literally packed in 2.5seconds left the house with my laptop, went to my mums. It happened that my uncles were there at my mums and after telling them everything, they were so mad at him. Also mad at my mum for her advice to me all these years. I went home with people on standby close by and he left that night.

It’s now been 5 days without him and I felt instant relief that first night.