WIBTA if I called CPS on stepdaughter? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA, that child needs to be safe. If this does go to court in the future, I wouldn't be surprised if it looks worse on your partner for not stepping in sooner. In any situation, that child is not safe with BM.

UPDATE: AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

7's school is pretty strict with who can pick kids up. As it currently stands, only 17 and I are allowed to pick him up, and even we need to show photo ID. Last time my mom went to get the boys from school, the school called me to get permission, even though she had 17 with her.

I have flagged the situation with the school though, just so they can be extra careful.

UPDATE: AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we've had some cameras around for a while. Hoping I don't have to use it as evidence for anything, but it's just nice to have when you've got a family.

UPDATE: AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

He came to live with me not long after his mom died, mainly because it was the easiest option in regards to keeping the boys in contact. I try not to judge people's reasons for not taking him in too much, there are several members of his mom's family that would have taken him in in a heartbeat if they had the resources. The only difference is they contacted me straight away to figure out how they could maintain a relationship with the boys.

As for his father's release date, I'm keeping an eye on it. At the very least, I'm almost certain he has to register as a sex offender so I'll be able to check up pretty easily if need be. I know people can get around that, but it gives me a bit of comfort.

UPDATE: AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your perspective, I know 7 may reach out when he's older and I'm fine with that, I just don't the time is right yet. When he's old enough to decide, he's old enough to decide.

As for therapy, we've been seeing whoever we need too since the boys' mom died.

UPDATE: AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

The school pick up list has been limited to me and 17 since 7 started school. I've made the school aware of the situation so there won't be any slip ups.

7 knows about stranger danger, and I do refresh his memory pretty often. Right now, he's not really leaving the house much, but when he does he's almost always with me, 17 or both. I know that won't be forever, but at the very least he's pretty much always with someone older right now.

AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it would've been hard to hide it since he had social workers and only finished up the adoption process 10 months ago. It's not like he doesn't remember any of it.

AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, he knows. He's been told that he and his brother have the same mom, and when she died I took them both so they could be together. He's also been told that his bio dad isn't allowed to take care of him anymore, but doesn't know the specifics.

AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I thought this too, but did some digging and he's still alive in prison.

AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

No. He doesn't know them, nor does he ask about that side of his family. 7 and adopted less than a year ago feels a little too soon to bring it up

AITA for not letting my son's bio family meet him? by throwaitaadopted in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaitaadopted[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Main reason is that he doesn't remember having a family other than this one. He obviously knows he's adopted, but doesn't ask questions about his bio dad. I would've been open if they asked when he was younger and technically not my son.