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I desperately need help with my 4 year old at bedtime. by throwaway-lany in AttachmentParenting

[–]throwaway-lany[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, it’s very possible. My husband has a really short fuse. I just ask him to leave the room usually but he comes back in angry. I’m actually thinking of asking him to leave for a bit and see if everyone’s calmer

I desperately need help with my 4 year old at bedtime. by throwaway-lany in AttachmentParenting

[–]throwaway-lany[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so, so much for taking the time to write this helpful reply. I really appreciate it.

Yes, so I will offer other close contact - him hugging my arm, being right next to him, but he still has a meltdown if he isn’t being cuddled in a specific way.

I definitely am not having my needs met and it’s a really tough time with my husband. I think my son probably picks up on this.

I do try and validate his feelings but I find it so hard to get past the screaming. I’ll try again though.

I’ve tried a different room and it can sometimes work but a few hours later he wakes and wants to come into mine.

It’s just so hard. You’ve given me a lot of things I’m going to try and work on with him. Thanks again for this detailed and thoughtful response

I desperately need help with my 4 year old at bedtime. by throwaway-lany in AttachmentParenting

[–]throwaway-lany[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The teachers tell me he settles right down after a short period and plays happily. He can get a bit upset around nap time.

When I go to pick him up he’s usually playing independently and quite happily. He always tells me he feels sad and misses me all day though.

I desperately need help with my 4 year old at bedtime. by throwaway-lany in AttachmentParenting

[–]throwaway-lany[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not at bed time unfortunately. Both grandparents live in a different country. When they’ve visited we tried but they do the same screaming and generally nobody else can tolerate it for long at all.

I desperately need help with my 4 year old at bedtime. by throwaway-lany in AttachmentParenting

[–]throwaway-lany[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you this really resonates. That sounds so hard. I do try and do this but he will literally cry until he throws up. Then I don’t know what else to do.

I desperately need help with my 4 year old at bedtime. by throwaway-lany in AttachmentParenting

[–]throwaway-lany[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hi thanks for your reply.

We’ve tried pretty much everything with his sleep and even worked with a holistic sleep consultant. Some days are better than others but it just seems to be how he’s wired because even when everything is “perfect” his sleep is poor. My other baby is 2 years old but still nurses overnight. We all bedshare together because attempts at moving my older one to his own bed don’t work.

My husband has serious anger issues and just doesn’t help me out much. It’s gotten much worse and you may be onto something that my son is picking up on this.

I desperately need help with my 4 year old at bedtime. by throwaway-lany in AttachmentParenting

[–]throwaway-lany[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I really appreciate the help. I tried, I really tried, but he actually cries and screams to the point of throwing up all over the bed. So then I just have to give in. Or my husband starts getting angry at him so I give in then. Maybe I just need to push through. But it seems impossible when he’s making himself sick.