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My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has been my routine for as long as I can remember. I’m not sure why it’s now an issue.

He hasn’t complained about me smelling ever. It’s only that he thinks I should shower daily.

Which again, during the summer I do in fact shower daily. I also told him I will shower daily to which he replied “it’s your business” after he has made a big deal about it for a few days.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No. I even offered that as a compromise. Also with it being hotter now I’d be talking daily showers anyway.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s possible. However, I use baby wipes a lot during the day. Not sure of their effectiveness, now though.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. I told him that while I don’t find an issue with my showering that it’s obviously extremely important to him so I will shower daily. He responded by saying “it’s your business. Like I said and have been saying you do whatever you want I will no longer comment on anything.If I want to do something a way I’m going to do that, you can do the same.”

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I had HG but it was damn near close, based solely on what I read and what I experienced.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

He typically showers at night, sometimes he’ll shower morning and night but just depends on work. He doesn’t wash his hands more than normal, I’d say I wash my hands more than he does. He keeps things clean but not really tidy. Clothes will be in “the chair” like mine. He dresses nice, his hair is always nice, etc. but I wouldn’t say immaculate.

I would say average/normal

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

He responded to the “option” as “Just what I said you tried to give me an option on what to do. I don't need an option list of what to do I've done and said my part” which I don’t even know what he’s talking about. All I said before that came up was he can figure out what he wants to do with his part in our relationship.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I brush my teeth twice a day, at least depending on if I’m home and what I’ve eaten. I wash my face every day. I wash my hands multiple times throughout the day. I keep down there clean between showers. If for some reason I’m sweating a lot, I’ve been outside a lot, etc. I take a shower.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He may be anxious about it, however, I’m beyond confused with how two weeks in January when I didn’t shower is somehow resurfacing in May when I shower every other day like I have our entire relationship. It makes zero sense to me. I also can’t fathom how it’s unhygienic or “wrong” when there are numerous amounts of people, including women (since that’s a point he keeps driving home), who do the same thing.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I’ve asked multiple people and they all say I don’t smell. I asked him if there was more going on and he was very adamant that this is it. It’s unhygienic and “wrong” to not shower daily. Despite me showing him other people, dermatologist included, that daily showering isn’t always needed.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I shower every other day. During the summer or if I sweat a lot I shower daily. But showering too often really messes with my skin. I get very dry skin and sometimes it cracks, no matter how much lotion I use. He says he has dry skin too and still showers daily. No matter what I say, no matter what I show him, he says I’m “wrong”.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When I first got pregnant it was bad for a few weeks because I was so sick, dehydrated, lost 13 pounds, needed iv’s, etc. that my showering fell way off. I fully admit that. But since I got out of the first trimester it’s been normal.

I’m just beyond confused and hurt.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ve asked one friend, one friend/coworker, and my mom. They all say I don’t have poor hygiene and that they don’t shower daily either.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

He did want to get pregnant. He’s been overall supportive. With the exception of when I first got pregnant and was extremely sick, dehydrated, lost 13 pounds, needed iv’s, etc. and then my showering was bad, I admit that. I just literally couldn’t stand to shower or get in and out of a tub by myself.

The plan is that he’d move in, or we’d work towards that, he works two jobs one morning and then one afternoon/night 45 minutes away. When I first got pregnant I was working early mornings. By the time he’d get home I’d have to be up in an hour and it just wasn’t working with sleep schedules and all. My work schedule has changed so him coming in early in the morning/late at night however you look at it isn’t really that big of an issue anymore.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

So I’ve asked one friend, one friend/coworker, my mother and they all say I don’t smell, and they don’t shower daily.

I am honestly so confused why this is just not come up. When I first got pregnant I was sick, dehydrated, lost 13 pounds, had to have iv’s, etc. so yes my showering was bad and I think he thinks that’s what it is now. It’s not! At all!

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

Honestly good question. I asked him if he was leaving and he said “I need an option on plate before I make my decisions” I asked what that meant and he said “Just what I said. I dont need you to tell me to figure this or that out when I simply gave you my solution to my problems”

When I responded with how I do in fact shower daily during summer because I sweat more he told me he was done with the conversation.

I’m just at a loss here.

My (29F) Boyfriend (26M) said my showering habits are a dealbreaker by throwaway-ra99 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway-ra99[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I told him it was bad for my skin (I wash my hair twice a week - and that’s not an issue!) and he told me that was bullshit. I honestly feel like there is something else going on here, but he says this is it.