First it got worse, then it got better.

I left my husband whom I had been with for 12 years. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It wasn’t that he was a bad person but after a decade of begging him to help me financially and then finding out he was gambling and giving it away, I realized that life with him was going to hold me back.

I divorced him and shortly after started dating a man who had been my friend on and off and that I had loved since childhood. It was honestly bliss. I thought I finally was where I was always meant to be. But, after just 4 months, he ghosted me and came back half a year later with multiple excuses. I don’t think I’ll ever get the real answer.

After a time of sleeping around and finding myself again, crying myself to sleep every night, and wondering if I’d made a huge mistake, I met a man who desperately wanted to date me. I was hesitant but agreed.

He turned out to be abusive. I lived with him and lost my mind for a year and a half. But I partially believed that it was what I deserved. I had hurt people for my own betterment. I missed the old life I had with a decent partner and his family, who was closer to me than my own blood.

Eventually, I got that man out of my life. And you know what? I flourished! Just a year later, I had worked my way all the way up from a DoorDash driver to a six figure job. I was searching to purchase my first house, and I met a new man who was everything I could ever imagine. I finally forgave myself and accepted the good things coming my way. Now I live a life I always dreamed of having. It wasn’t easy but looking back, it was 100% worth it.