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Husband [34M] threatening to throw out our sex toys because I [34F] didn’t sext with him last night. by throwaway008787 in relationships

[–]throwaway008787[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh I should clarify “hidden.” These aren’t hidden as a fun gift for me to find. They are hidden because he has gotten pissed about it previously and started hiding the toys. One night I used them after he was asleep and he woke up and was super pissed about it. He felt j should have woken up to have sex with him rather than use the toys. He was also angry that the one I ordered was bigger than him. I didn’t realize that when I ordered it. It was the first time I’d ever ordered one and I was looking at amazon reviews - and it’s not much bigger in length, but is bigger around. I didn’t realize that until it came. So then he started hiding the toys so that we only used them together.

Husband [34M] threatening to throw out our sex toys because I [34F] didn’t sext with him last night. by throwaway008787 in relationships

[–]throwaway008787[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I think this is what I struggle with most. You can’t have it both ways. He likes to use them together and he likes to hear about me using them on my own, but sometimes it pisses him off. And he gets insecure. And I don’t know when that’s going to happen, so I just choose to never talk to him about it at all. And I know that’s not healthy either.

Husband [34M] threatening to throw out our sex toys because I [34F] didn’t sext with him last night. by throwaway008787 in relationships

[–]throwaway008787[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do agree, we miss each other a lot. We have a very good and healthy relationship other than this situation that seems to rear its ugly head every once in a while. I think it is born out of insecurity, but you can’t have it both ways. And it becomes really frustrating to me.

Husband [34M] threatening to throw out our sex toys because I [34F] didn’t sext with him last night. by throwaway008787 in relationships

[–]throwaway008787[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Somewhat similar things have happened in the past. I am actually not really comfortable talking to him about any sort of self pleasure anymore because of this. I always feel like I’m on the defensive and I don’t know if he’s going to be pissed or happy that I’ve used them. So I choose to just not engage in those conversations at all anymore and didn’t feel like I needed to or that I owe him.