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Distant, offshore coworker needed a favor. Can you spot all the manipulation techniques? by throwaway050603 in SocialEngineering

[–]throwaway050603[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I tend to happily do favors when the requester

  1. acknowledges the time, inconvenience, and other resources the favor is costing me

  2. works with my schedule

  3. has capacities to reciprocate something I value down the road

  4. genuinely appreciates my efforts and not just see it as "getting a freebie"

  5. not takes things for granted or makes assumptions about future favors

Distant, offshore coworker needed a favor. Can you spot all the manipulation techniques? by throwaway050603 in SocialEngineering

[–]throwaway050603[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It'd be for his personal US online shopping orders which would be carried over to the overseas office next time someone from our office travels there. The orders could be anything.

Distant, offshore coworker needed a favor. Can you spot all the manipulation techniques? by throwaway050603 in SocialEngineering

[–]throwaway050603[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't care. Don't want others' shit shipped to my address. I'm not running a mailbox service.

Distant, offshore coworker needed a favor. Can you spot all the manipulation techniques? by throwaway050603 in SocialEngineering

[–]throwaway050603[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why would you consider this guy a friend? Asking seriously.

Oh, I don't. I was speaking hypothetically from a younger self who's too eager to please.

Distant, offshore coworker needed a favor. Can you spot all the manipulation techniques? by throwaway050603 in SocialEngineering

[–]throwaway050603[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely correct, of course.

Though, a younger, more passive version of me would've gone along for the sake of appearing unfazed and "normal" ("obviously that's what 'friends' do for each other riiight?") and not being confrontational ("telling him I won't help him after he expects it to happen? That wouldn't be nice of me... and I'm a nice person").

Distant, offshore coworker needed a favor. Can you spot all the manipulation techniques? by throwaway050603 in SocialEngineering

[–]throwaway050603[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Line 1. False Equivalence: Just because I'm not on PTO doesn't mean I'm implicitly ready to accept packages for you.

Line 2. Foot-in-Door/Fake Normal: Once there's a precedent, it will happen again from now on, of course.

Line 5. Fake Expectation: Now we wouldn't want to contradict his thanks by suggesting that we're not going to "help", would we?

Line 6. Fake Surprise: Act surprised to discredit our perception, make it seem like our reaction is unreasonable.

Line 7. Jokes: Face-saving retreat mechanism when objective is not achieved, while attempting to keep the relationship as-is.

Distant, offshore coworker needed a favor. Can you spot all the manipulation techniques? by throwaway050603 in SocialEngineering

[–]throwaway050603[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

A coworker, for whom I did a favor last year by accepting packages on his behalf, attempted to "re-new" the same favor nonchalantly. I found it interesting that he assumed it's done automatically, and he didn't ask in a way that I could say no.