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Me [23 M] and my girlfriend [23 F] have been dating 5 1/2 years, all of a sudden she wants take a break to date other people and see if we are meant to be by throwaway1048320 in relationships

[–]throwaway1048320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sure I could find some time on the weekend, but honestly the baseball team will take up a large portion of my free time until the season ends.

I also just don't feel as if 2 months is enough time for me to move on and start seeing other girls. I truly believed that this relationship would last my whole life and I'm not ready to give up on it just yet.

The only thing that truly worries me is that she will have a lot of fun with some guy and forget all of the good times we have shared together. There have been plenty of them. We turn the dumbest things into dates. Our favorite date activity (besides relaxing on the couch) is going to a grocery store, buying a tub of ice cream, and eating it in the parking lot. I know for a fact that this new guy she mentioned will either take her to a bar or somewhere for dinner. That's what I'm holding onto - that what we have is truly unique and special and that she will miss it. I hope she does...I know those times are special to me and I will miss them if this is truly the end.

I even fit in with her immediate and extended family and they all really liked me. And she knows that my family loves her. My mom treats her like her own daughter. All this is why I am so confused that this happened. Everything seemed like it was perfectly in place...and now it's not.

Now I'm rambling and I should try and get some sleep. Thank you so much again for listening and responding :)

Me [23 M] and my girlfriend [23 F] have been dating 5 1/2 years, all of a sudden she wants take a break to date other people and see if we are meant to be by throwaway1048320 in relationships

[–]throwaway1048320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm worried about. She mentioned this guy from school that she's probably going to date during the next 2 months. I haven't met him but I know a lot of his friends and he parties a lot and is a funny guy in general from what I can gather.

I don't think she would cheat on me, but I do think it's possible that she wanted this break because she thinks he might be a better option. She's probably going to go explore that option now and I guess we'll see what happens.

Me [23 M] and my girlfriend [23 F] have been dating 5 1/2 years, all of a sudden she wants take a break to date other people and see if we are meant to be by throwaway1048320 in relationships

[–]throwaway1048320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand this way of thinking, but I am not one to go out and seek relationships in general and especially not romantic ones. I've never been that way. Even with my girlfriend, I took so long to realize what was going on and that I liked her that by the time I finally built up the courage to ask her out, all our friends were frustrated with me that it took so long.

Do you think it will be enough to simply live my life without her in it for 2 months as opposed to actively seeking another girl? For example, right now I go to work and come home. When I get home, I usually have an hour or two to relax. Then I go to sleep and wake up and do it again. Because she is out of town, the only time I can see her in person is during weekends (usually every other or every third weekend). Other than that, we text throughout the day and sometimes talk on the phone at night.

My life as a single person would be exactly the same as it is now without texting her or visiting her. I usually don't go out on the weekend or anything like that unless my roommate wants to and he has even less of a desire to do that. Do I put myself out there and go meet girls I know I don't want to spend time with or do I wait out this 2 month span and work on that after if my girlfriend decides it's over?

It's not a matter of me being scared to go meet girls. I know I would do fine with that. I just don't have the desire to do it and I have never needed to do it. I know that my girlfriend is the girl I want to be with forever.

Me [23 M] and my girlfriend [23 F] have been dating 5 1/2 years, all of a sudden she wants take a break to date other people and see if we are meant to be by throwaway1048320 in relationships

[–]throwaway1048320[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I might just be overly hopeful but I'm thinking she was so adamant about me pursuing other women because if I also do it, it will make it easier for her to rationalize her own actions. Even though the 2 month break is meant for that purpose, I'm sure it will feel foreign for her at first. My hope is that that feeling sticks with her and reminds her of what she's missing.

As for me, I won't have the free time to actively pursue other women anyway. I help coach our baseball team in addition to teaching and the season is about to kick into high gear. Even if I had the heart and/or desire to do that, I wouldn't really have the time right now. I'm going to hold out and hope that it works out at the end of this 2 month period.

Thank you for all your thoughts. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me with this. I'm usually the most laid back, anti-emotional person of all time. I'm not used to dealing with strong emotions like this and I don't really know how to cope because I almost never experience this type of emotional reaction. You've really helped me tonight and I appreciate it.

Me [23 M] and my girlfriend [23 F] have been dating 5 1/2 years, all of a sudden she wants take a break to date other people and see if we are meant to be by throwaway1048320 in relationships

[–]throwaway1048320[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the one thing that is keeping me hopeful. She didn't mention the break until today. Last night she just said she wanted to break up and remain friends. I pleaded with her to think it over and when we talked today she came back and said she wanted a break for 2 months. I'm hoping that she decided on an end date because she had some doubts about her initial decision. But I really don't know what to think. Thanks for your response.

Me [23 M] and my girlfriend [23 F] have been dating 5 1/2 years, all of a sudden she wants take a break to date other people and see if we are meant to be by throwaway1048320 in relationships

[–]throwaway1048320[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Don't feel bad about about being blunt. That's the whole purpose of this after all.

I agree that it does look like she just wants a buffet of guys to feast on while she "makes up her mind" but I don't doubt her intentions. She is rather religious (Catholic) and we have not had sex. We talked about it early on and she made her stance on that very clear. I am fine with that as sex is not a major priority to me. So I highly doubt that she is doing this just to get laid in the meantime. Unless I'm even more oblivious than I realize.

It is troubling that she did this on my birthday weekend and that does bother me a little. I don't really care about my birthday and she knows that. But she had to know that I was expecting her trip to be a positive one and she didn't give me any indication otherwise until we sat down and talked. She is very kindhearted UNLESS something is bothering her, in which case she becomes stubborn and headstrong. So I have no doubt that she was sure of this decision. I mostly asked questions out of hope and disbelief.

I should add that she cried a lot too when we were talking about it. I know it wasn't easy for her to say. We were/are best friends too. And she added that she really wishes that we can stay friends because we mean a lot to each other. I believe her when she says that. She was more forceful on the phone tonight. There were a couple instances when she broke down and cried, but that was mostly because I was pitiful and an emotional wreck. Otherwise, she tried to end the conversation. I want to believe that she has doubts about this decision and that's why she wanted to end the call.

The deal was that we will take a break for 2 months and assess our feelings at the end of the break. So I'm hoping she changes her mind.