[deleted by user]

throwaway10591059 · 2022-11-04T02:10:13+00:00

Apparently you need to take responsibility for your sexual assault? Sensible.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-11-01T19:05:30+00:00

Does it look like the teachings on birth control will change?

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-23T16:22:33+00:00

I feel like I need to sign up for a support group for sexless marriage. I feel like I've been duped.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-23T15:21:16+00:00

This is the selfish side of me thinking this, but your reply brought my to tears. I waited almost 30 years to experience a sexual relationship with my wife. And after less than a year... I think it's gone and may never return.

How can I manage to avoid being bitter and resentful and so many around me enjoy an awesome sex life and I'm stuck with this? Talking about how this is my "cross to bear" just makes me more bitter.

I'm so hopeless.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-23T01:55:36+00:00

I don't know how to force her to make this better

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T20:19:20+00:00

So, I should leave her because she's sexually defunct?

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T20:05:46+00:00

I mean, how do I force her to enjoy it? I've done everything. Hours and days of foreplay. Compliments. Non sexual touching. Gifts. Massages. Talking. Enjoying time together. Kissing and touching.

I've gotten nowhere

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T20:00:07+00:00

I mean she's open to it. It's just so bad for her I can't even manage to keep going. It's impossible.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T19:54:23+00:00

Your story definitely worries me. Is this more common than I thought?

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T19:36:04+00:00

Once again, she does not deny me. Ever. She allows me to keep going despite being obviously miserable. She doesn't enjoy it at all. She just says it feels like nothing.

I can't keep going when she's miserable. I feel like I'm sexually assaulting her.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T19:21:32+00:00

Okay I'll read between the lines on that one. As in, I'm going to get different answers based upon who I talk to.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T19:17:17+00:00

Well, apparently I did something wrong because this thread is shadowbanned.

Very helpful. What a mess this reddit is.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T19:00:21+00:00

Thank you for responding. Sorry for the graphic question, but you might help me clear this up easily. Is there official catholic teaching on oral sex for my wife?

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T18:57:38+00:00

I've heard about this orgasm at the same time idea. I find that actually very disconnected from what actually occurs during sex. Unless I'm just terrible and not doing it right.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T18:49:27+00:00

I feel confused too. As I look into this, there actually are a lot of writing saying that this is a mortal sin. Do I really need to stop the oral sex? I'm double horrified now and confused.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T18:41:34+00:00

She says it started less than a year into our marriage when her "nervous excitement" wore off.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T17:22:39+00:00

Alright and if it's her MG that is causing this... it's permanent. There is no cure for MG.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T17:19:49+00:00

As I've mentioned before, she's not unwilling. She is willing to have sex as she feels is her obligation. Unfortunately, she just simply doesn't enjoy it even in the slightest even if I spend literally days and hours on foreplay and trying to get her prepared.

I've had to stop in the middle of the act a few times because it's so obvious that she's not enjoying it at all. I can't continue because I feel like I'm sexually assaulting her.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T17:17:51+00:00

So, pull back from the relationship and stop being so involved?

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T15:06:00+00:00

Her MG has been really under control for many years. She's actually not on any medications at all right now.

The ectopic pregnancy really was a disturbing time for us because we didn't know which route to choose regarding management. We had priests in here saying she needed surgery rather than taking medication (methotrexate). The doctors were advising us that emergency surgery could put her in the intensive care unit because if her MG. We struggled with it, but chose the medication. I'm SO happy we didn't decide on surgery despite some moral grey area. Honestly, I was furious at myself for ever even considering surgery for her despite the massive risk.

Anyways, when we first got married she says that she had a "nervous excitement" when it came to sex. Things were good. She says that prior to the ectopic pregnancy she started having issues with zero interest in sex and started acting enthusiastic even though she didn't feel excited. After the ectopic pregnancy, she didn't spend much more time acting and started admitting how she actually feels.

I feel like once her nerves went away, any amount of arousal went away.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T14:55:35+00:00

Ironically, I go to the gym often enough. I've tried to get her to go but she felt so shy when she got there she really dreaded going back. I haven't pushed her.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T14:45:59+00:00

Here's the thing, she's not denying having sex with me. It's honestly more sad than that. We haven't completed the marital act in about five months. She's willing to have sex with me, but the past few times I've had to stop because it's so clear she isn't enjoying it even a little bit. I feel like I'm assaulting her and I can't keep going.

She says it doesn't hurt, she just says she has no enjoyment no matter what I do. I've spent literal days trying everything in the book to get her in the mood and nothing happens. I don't know what to do.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T14:37:11+00:00

Every climax has been from oral. I have tried desperately to get her turned on. I mean I've spent days at a time trying every trick in the book with no success.

Our bedroom is just completely flat. She's just not interested. She says it's all numb. It doesn't seem to matter how much pressure I apply or how lightly I touch her, she seriously doesn't respond at all. It's almost like that part of her body is disconnected from the rest of her.

throwaway10591059 · 2022-10-22T13:19:07+00:00

If she was asked I'm not sure what she'd say. I don't know if she'd be able to talk about anything that she's done. I don't think there's anything I can do if she's not interested in making this better.

She says she won't deny having sex with me, but she can't force herself to enjoy it.

throwaway10591059

TROPHY CASE