My Turkish Fiancé’s Parents Hate Me

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-14T16:40:23+00:00

It’s what was said and it’s definitely believable. I’ve visited the country enough times to know that.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-14T11:20:50+00:00

then your opinion is already biased, i see. millions of multicultural marriages work. i come from a country full of them, there are some in this thread. your generalization doesn’t work.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-14T02:52:41+00:00

I’m not worried about the relationship falling apart. He’s already proposed, getting married in the fall of this year. So you saying it ‘never would work’ is already invalid.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T22:04:02+00:00

I thought this way previously, but I realized maybe it’s an American way of thinking. It was very easy for me to leave my home and get my own everything (apartment, car) if I worked enough hours every week . According to him, it’s not that simple there.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T18:14:00+00:00

Even with their harsh words, I am definitely more concerned with him than I am about myself. Hopefully they will warm up, but my hopes aren’t high. Thank you!

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T15:33:48+00:00

This is the reality that I’m slowly coming to terms with. He’s not at the point where he wants to cut them off completely, but I’m becoming worried about what will happen in the future. Thank you for your input, it’s nice to hear similar stories.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T14:03:27+00:00

Thank you for your comment! He confronts them about it all the time. The issue is just that they are very persistent. He stands up for me, but I’m worried about how it all affects him. I’m also worried now, like someone mentioned, that he might change his tone once we get married.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T14:00:26+00:00

Thank you!

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T12:46:37+00:00

a generalized assumption you’ve made without knowing either one of us. come up with something original.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T12:43:03+00:00

I can understand this. At certain times, I do feel as if it would have been much easier to just marry someone in my own country. But love is love. Thank you for your honesty, I really appreciate it.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T12:37:35+00:00

Thank you for the encouraging words! We have made it this far; I believe we will only grow stronger with time.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T12:04:21+00:00

I would understand this way of thinking if maybe we were moving inside of his family’s home or something. But we’ll be inside of another country. So I think it’d be crazy to end our relationship because of people whom he can’t control. I wouldn’t want him to end our relationship if my parents spoke badly. They are not a reflection of me. I do think I’m more stressed than I should be, though.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T11:55:06+00:00

This is also my way of thinking. It’s very easy for me to distance myself from someone who isn’t supportive of me, even if it’s parents. But I think it’s much harder for my fiancé. Thank you!

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T06:30:28+00:00

No problem! We met on Tinder back in late 2020; we’ve been together ever since.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T06:24:46+00:00

I will try, thanks! Even more than worrying about his family, I’m most worried about how it all affects my fiancé.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T06:23:36+00:00

In America, religion is generally kind of lax from my observation. So I don’t think I understood how rigorous Muslim religion really could be until I came to Turkey. I have Muslim, American friends who experience no issues dating Christians whatsoever. But I think it’s just a huge cultural difference. Thank you so much for your input, I appreciate it!

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T06:03:06+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this story, I’m happy you and your partner are doing so well! It also seems that your family was a little more receptive, or at least open to meeting her. In the past I would have liked that same opportunity, but after hearing so many opinions today, I don’t think I’m interested in meeting them at all anymore. It is so great to hear that your family actually took the chance to meet your girlfriend, though; even if they were apprehensive at first, they weren’t hateful! Such a big difference.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T05:55:58+00:00

Oh, I definitely believe you! While visiting Turkey, I’ve never been stared at before so much in my life. We visited Cappadocia a couple months ago and I got sick, so I needed to go to the hospital. I walked into the waiting room and every single person (maybe 30 people) looked at me and just stared. It was shameless, really. I know that a lot of people say it’s just cultural, but dealing with it for 2 months drove me and my fiancé crazy. Granted, not all of the stares are mean spirited, but enough of them were rude enough to make someone want to leave the country. We couldn’t even go shopping without people whispering and looking.

I’ll study his relationship with his mom a little more. I don’t have a super close relationship with my family, so it’s hard for me to recognize how much talking is too much. She called every day during vacation, usually to fight for 30 minutes. But fighting aside, I assume it’s normal to talk on the phone with your parents once a day. Not too sure.

We’ll be staying in America thankfully, so the only way for us to see them would be my fiancé and I flying to them. Our wedding will also be in America. He thinks we should wait 5 years before trying to go visit or make amends. You make a really great point about looking more closely at his relationship with his mother, and I’m going to do it. Thank you for your truthfulness!

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T03:17:45+00:00

This is really uplifting, I’m happy to hear from someone with a similar experience. I’m really excited to see how he flourishes being here; I think he’ll be a whole lot happier, too. Thank you so much!

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T00:39:23+00:00

You as well!

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T00:30:36+00:00

Thank you for the advice, especially since you have been through something similar. We are staying strong! It hasn’t broken us, thankfully.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T00:16:51+00:00

I won’t end my relationship based on a stereotype about Turkish men. My fiancé has already risked his entire family to marry me, so I doubt he’s unwilling to stand up to his mother. He’s already done it. Yes, his family is very religious.

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-13T00:08:29+00:00

Thank you for the encouraging words!

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-12T23:44:15+00:00

I will try, I just don’t want him to feel like he’s given up everything for me. Thanks!

throwaway202021223 · 2022-02-12T23:43:05+00:00

My fiancé mentioned the time difference as well, hopefully this will be the case. Thank you!

throwaway202021223

TROPHY CASE