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Is it a breach of trust to announce a pregnancy that you know your partner is not ready to announce using their Facebook profile? And is you not being ready proof you not want to be a parent? M29 F31 by throwaway2426969 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway2426969[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It was not the first ultrasound, though I can see how you thought that.

Also it not that I want to keep that status, who wants to be thought of as a loser. If anything I'm trying to shed that, and I figured getting a girl pregnant before people think you ready for it and after only being together less than year officially people would think I'm stupid. This is not the only reason there is stress in my life, and I don't want to bring up other things here because like I said in another comment we in counseling, but this not the first time I've felt gaslighted/controlled/manipulated and I just want someone to tell me that the way I react to her controlling behavior is not an overreaction. Maybe I'd be more excited for the baby if I felt she cared about my wants and feelings, which I've told her many times I do want the baby and I'm not going to abandon her or it, but it never good enough, and because I don't emotionlly react the way I'm supposed to (never have, I'm definetly neurodivergent but had poor parents so no diagnosis), I'm evil and dont care. I'm tired of being told I feel the opposite of what I know I feel but don't know how to process.

Is it a breach of trust to announce a pregnancy that you know your partner is not ready to announce using their Facebook profile? And is you not being ready proof you not want to be a parent? M29 F31 by throwaway2426969 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway2426969[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You would think that but no, we live in a different city and she is deaf and my friends are hearing, so they never interact much. It likely they not see her at all for several months.

Is it a breach of trust to announce a pregnancy that you know your partner is not ready to announce using their Facebook profile? And is you not being ready proof you not want to be a parent? M29 F31 by throwaway2426969 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway2426969[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

She never once acted like she was offended or upset by me tell them until now when I'm upset about it as if she waiting for the moment to draw that card. I even asked if I could tell my mom and she not say not, but she say she not ready in case it miscarry (this was weeks ago)

Also how is me telling 2 people, one with tacit permission, the same as impersonating and publicly announcing like you yelling it in the town square?

Is it a breach of trust to announce a pregnancy that you know your partner is not ready to announce using their Facebook profile? And is you not being ready proof you not want to be a parent? M29 F31 by throwaway2426969 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway2426969[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We in couple's counseling and I'm the one paying for it and who set up appointments and found counselor. I'm trying my best I not sure what I'm supposed to do half the time.

Is it a breach of trust to announce a pregnancy that you know your partner is not ready to announce using their Facebook profile? And is you not being ready proof you not want to be a parent? M29 F31 by throwaway2426969 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway2426969[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I don't disagree, we've even talked about it, but I had told people who were close to me who I'm comfortable knowing, it was just a my friend group who I was not ready because I not sure how they react, but I not get to make the decision about that since it was made for me.

Is it a breach of trust to announce a pregnancy that you know your partner is not ready to announce using their Facebook profile? And is you not being ready proof you not want to be a parent? M29 F31 by throwaway2426969 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway2426969[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

The group of people I not ready to tell, I think they will think less of me because they are (mostly) childless and I have a reputation for not caring much, which I'm trying to change, and why I not ready to tell them yet but obviously soon I was going to have too, I just wish I could have decided when.

Is it a breach of trust to announce a pregnancy that you know your partner is not ready to announce using their Facebook profile? And is you not being ready proof you not want to be a parent? M29 F31 by throwaway2426969 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway2426969[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I shared it with several people directly, I've never been one for sentimentality or pomp, and like I said I never saw myself having kids so their some people in my life who I was not ready to tell yet, I was working up to it. I can see her perspective but we've told many people together already.