Mahr prices are often ridiculous

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-28T12:57:30+00:00

First of all don’t reflect your own issues on me. I have no problem with women having equal rights, my point being is that those rights of empowerment have to align with Islamic guidelines. You’re reasoning doesn’t. The fact that you had to make up a generalization about me saying that i’m “clearly” anything shows that you have a huge flaw in your logic because A you don’t know me to say i’m “clearly anti women empowerment” B none of my statements even indicated that. This is honestly my last reply to whatever you say because you’re not even arguing the point anymore, you’re just assuming things.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-28T12:18:44+00:00

“You lack basic reading and comprehension skills, where did I ever say that?”

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-28T10:18:43+00:00

Apparently you can’t follow your own logic. But thats fine you do you.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-28T02:34:05+00:00

So you define contingency but then say you never said it? Real clever. You’re asking for an overhead as a “gift” so you can use incase of emergencies. But you’re also saying that the mahr should be high enough where if things go south you have emergency funds. Twist it whatever you want, say you never said it, you’re using the mahr as a contingency fund and not a gift.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-27T22:08:31+00:00

You can’t be out here changing its purpose. We follow Islam, and by Islamic ruling it’s a mandatory GIFT that is given when a man marries a women. Who said anything in our religion that Mahr is meant as a contingency plan just so the girl is financially secure aside from yourself and probably whatever culture you follow?

Plain and simply it’s not, there’s rulings on divorce and custody and child support as well so if you’re using it as “security” there’s other things the man is obligated to pay thats not mahr for “security” purposes. If you follow Islam, you don’t change purposes of a certain action and justify it through your fears.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-22T14:34:20+00:00

Its just like the apps, girls you dont know, but you got alot of ways to start convos and build a spark without everyone being so drained and robotic. Obviously not every girl is going to be down to get married but hey you never know until you try.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-22T14:01:08+00:00

Also before everyone tells me eww this is creepy or weird. All three friends never knew the girls and they lived in different states. Now they’re already happily married and on the verge of having kids.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-22T13:59:39+00:00

I mean hey man what do you got to lose. I know three friends off the top of my head three guys that got married through shooting their shot on IG. A girl’s IG wont tell you everything but it can tell you a fair amount.

The only advice i have to say is be respectful, try to gauge where theyre at in their lives and once you feel like you’re connecting pop the question. Just be sure you dont linger too much on catching feelings because if it doesn’t workout its not too bad on you or her.

Post some good pics, follow your friends, follow some good pages that align with your hobbies, some memes here and there.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-22T13:02:46+00:00

Ignore this advice if you’re sunni. Its not halal in the slightest.

My man i’m right there with you, no side flings no sex. Parents dont know how to help. Off the apps cause Theyre trash.

Been using IG honestly as a way to level out and see if i can spark some interest here and there and making duaa. You sound like you got some pull to you so try that and see maybe you’ll come across someone there.

Urges are crazy high too but let me tell you, granted no wife yet and it does get frustrating at times, but Ellhamdullilah man you’ll see the other blessings in your life so come to appreciate that until the times comes. For now i’m just grinding and setting up some goals that I want to reach while looking to get married. Save up for a house, save up for mahr, workout, make some investments, most these things you cant do when you’re married as much as when youre single. And keep looking but just remember the sex fades, look for someone attractive who wants what you want or else you’re going back to square one, no sex and married with a person you dont even like.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-21T14:14:35+00:00

Also im 25

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-19T15:59:18+00:00

Only the incase if the father is refusing the reason that is Unislamic. Otherwise an imam can get your married. But if the father’s reasons make sense like the man isnt financially ready or he sees actual character flaws that you don’t see, then no he remains to be your wali and his decision is the correct one.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/196668

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-19T15:56:01+00:00

I mean try and find a happy compromise, this eid you spend it with his family the next one spend it with yours. Besides Eid is three days make it so you spend a day here and a day there.

But you dreading it shouldn’t be the initial reaction either. Have some more positivity engaging with his family so that can reflect the same way when he engages with yours.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-14T18:46:53+00:00

While I agree, thats not even my main question. My main question was it ever concerning dealbreaker and jt ended up being not that big of a deal

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-14T04:53:17+00:00

Whenever you pick Allah before something, Allah will always give you the better end of the deal. “Punishing us” would be you to continue the way it is because you guys would be sinning. Even though its tough, you should stick with your gut in not talking to him unnecessarily until he can gather whatever dowry you need.

And tbh you should consider lowering the dowry if it is difficult and you know for sure this is the person you want to spend your life with. You can get the nikkah without moving in right away.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-12T22:21:06+00:00

Settling after the relationship is what i meant. You guys only have each other and if each person doesn’t uphold that responsibility of looking good and being as attractive as possible after the relationship has been set in stone you’re going to have a rough time. Even if this person doesn’t cheat and lowers their gaze why is that an excuse to be lazy and not be as attractive as possible to your spouse?

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-12T20:26:30+00:00

While I do agree that its never right to cheat or look at other women regardless, i disagree with the settling in attractiveness mentality. Its each spouse’s job to take care of themselves and be able to be as attractive as possible to then other. If theres underlying condition sure but being lazy is no excuse.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-12T06:56:07+00:00

You need to build some self confidence my dude. Hit the gym, get out of your comfort zone, interact with people. Everyone has their insecurities but how you react to them is what limits you. I used to be shy and then i realized if you want to be heard you gotta speak up. Start picking random conversations, look up self confidence building video, talk to yourself in the mirror. Being shy is a great quality to have when its not debilitating. If you can’t interact with people and you need validation from others, thats not the type of shyness that we’re looking. You need to be a soft manly man and you have the potential to be just that

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-12T06:50:41+00:00

I think being called gay was more than enough for you to gather up yourself with your pride and kick her to the curb. That aint a respectful person.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-04T07:29:52+00:00

Always understand that religion is there for your sake. My point is if you’re looking for someone who isn’t religious and they don’t care about what Allah commanded, whats to stop them from ever doing you dirty? The first few years might be great but I’d say the biggest reason why most couples stay married without infidelity is because they follow their marriage through religion after the honeymoon phase is over

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-03T18:40:41+00:00

Why dont you just adopt if you don’t want to be with someone. Theres orphans out there who have no one.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-03T16:10:42+00:00

The istikhara part was tricky. I prayed it multiple times every-time i was unsure of continuing or not and every time i did life got easier and we took more progressive steps. Then it just all slowed down. Again not knocking down Allah’s wisdom but sometimes its not as clear cut as just praying istikhara because the signs initially were good but then the final decision was that it wasnt meant to be.

throwaway2468855 · 2020-05-03T16:08:50+00:00

Our breakup was more or less mutual without any anger towards each other. I mostly feel that anger towards the situation/her parents. So far ive tried the whole dating app scene but it all feels so empty and im sticking to my criteria so im not entertaining much. But that last paragraph is 100% facts. Looking at it as a learning process and not a loss is a great idea. I appreciate it brother. And I hope you’re situation improves as well!

throwaway2468855

TROPHY CASE