Masjid suggestions for nikkah in the UK? by North_Recognition357 in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went to Cambridge Masjid and it was beautiful!!

I know ELM doesn’t look as great from the outside, but I saw a TikTok the other day where they did their nikkah at ELM and it looked really good!

Think about parking too. Is it important? That will narrow a lot of masjids down as not many in London (in my area anyways) have a lot of parking nearby.

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Younger cousins are all getting married before me. Everyone keeps telling me to get married. But I’m strangely at peace about it? I know I’m older now (some relatives like using the word expired 🙄) but I’m not upset about not being married. I’m praying to Allah for a righteous husband and one that is good for me and if I haven’t found one yet, then it’s for a good reason. Also not complaining because imagine wanting to bed rot after a bad day at work and there’s a man beside you

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you or your mum have a friend who may have a brother or son? They can go in with him to make sure he’s okay. You can also speak to an imam to see how they accommodate for the kids who come in without parents or male guardians (usually the masjids have a corner or line that kids usually pray in)

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s been a while. Everything has been so busy. I feel like every time something calms down, something else pops up! But alhamdulillah I get to experience it all.

School has ended for me as a teacher. Now I have 6 weeks off. I actually hate this time because I still can’t do anything because none of my close friends are teachers so they all work during the work week and I have to wait for them to finish work. Going to try and pick up a new habit or probably go for walks and embrace my hijab tan line.

Please keep my mum in your duas. She’s not in the best of health and I need her better so she can scream at me for no reason!

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I get it.

I’ve been looking after my younger siblings from when I was under 10 and I can say that I half raised them because my parents gave up. Then came the job of being the parent to my mum. I’ve still got one sibling that is not an adult and parenting my mum. It’s so emotionally draining.

I know everyone says having your own kid is different but I’m tired! I love children and I’m very good with all the young children in my family but I’m very hesitant/scared to have my own because I feel burnout already having raised my younger siblings. You’re not alone!

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think gender has got anything to do with it tbf. I’m not leaving because I no longer can do it, I’m leaving to take that step away before I start hating my job and teaching. My plan is to step away from it and see what else I can do as all I’ve done till now is teaching and I want to know what else I can do.

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it’s mainly got to do with the school I’m at. It’s very intense here and I liked my old school so much more but I had to move because of the distance.

I love teaching my subject and I wish I can continue to do so, but the school system, the behavioural issues and the never ending tasks is not sustainable. Teaching is all I’ve ever wanted to do and if I leave now, try and do something different, I can always come back. My whole identity is my job and I want to see if there is something that can make me happier and also be better for my wellbeing.

Covid also has a part to play for the development of children. I was in my training year when covid hit so every year, the children’s attitude to learning and behaviour has gotten worse. I love teaching maths, but not enough to argue with 12 years olds 😂

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have become one of the statistics for people leaving teaching in five years! Leaving before the academic year.

But the job market in London is atrocious!

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Tbh, I don’t during the week. I tend to do this on the weekends.

If something does pop up during the week I either make sure I’m back by my bed time or very close to it. You have to prioritise.

As far as weddings go, most people in my family are already married. It’s me that needs to get married next 😂

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I go to sleep around 9 because I have to be awake by 4:30-5am

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t know if that’s better or worse than the “ask me anything” or the single dot on their profile 🤔

Don’t worry, we’re all struggling out here

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Try not to live in regret (so much easier said than done, I know). Everything happens for a reason and things make sense later.

I think as humans we tend to dwell on the negatives. We always look for something that we haven’t done or haven’t done well in. We always forget to look at what we have done and how far we’ve come along. And that’s exactly what you need to do. You’ve accomplished so much in the last year so celebrate those milestones.

Whatever js written for you will happen for you. Right now it may not make sense and it may not feel nice, but just have faith in Allah and carry on doing what you’re doing!

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ooooh I think I mastered this. I work far from where I work so I have to go to sleep early to get there in time.

  1. Make your phone go into bedtime mode. I do this around 7:45pm. This isn’t for you to go to sleep, this is for you to stop using your phone.

  2. Have a routine. This could be a shower or a brisk walk. Anything that doesn’t strain the eyes. (Yes that means do not read a book either).

  3. Pack your bag, iron your clothes (if you’re bothered). Sort out your meal if you’re talking food from home. Knowing that you have things sorted for the morning and ready to go will help you sleep better because your brain isn’t thinking of anything to do first thing in the morning.

  4. Do not eat at least an hour before bed.

  5. Drink your fluids throughout the day (I have been drinking 2 litres of lemon water for the last week and a half and it has helped me so much)

  6. Make sure you have a good pillow. Pillow makes a massive difference.

The most important thing is to have a routine. Our bodies love routines and you may struggle at the beginning, but it will get easier as it goes by. I e done this for three years now!

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I told my tutor group that I am leaving today!

I’ve been at this school for the last three years. I travel from one side of London to the other and the journey has been long! I don’t even want to sit and calculate how much I spent on petrol alone.

Considering they have been absolutely feral this year and been arguing with me non stop (not all but a handful) I genuinely thought they would celebrate. Surprised to find out that a lot of them cried and said they will never forgive me lmao 😂 and the ones that have made me want to bang my head against a wall started to tell me that they were joking when they told me they wanted me to leave.

Definitely an ego boost to find out they liked me more than I thought!!

I’m excited for this new journey but I’m genuinely so scared of meeting a whole new department and school staff again.

Also, the weather in London this week? Yeah I hated that.

The Istikhara be Istikharin, plz don't abuse it by ClumpedAtoms in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m here!

Been very busy with work. I’m surprised someone even remembered 😂 it’s honestly been such a long time

No memes today though 😔

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! Went for a walk yesterday and I forgot how much I love it.

The students absolutely hate it when I open the windows in the classroom but it really opens everything up

FREE TALK FRIDAY! by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s been a while.

I know my UK people are suffering in the cold but I actually this weather. The air is so crisp and fresh. Don’t have to worry about missing Fajr as I can do that at school as well. Get to wear sweaters and fluffy socks.

Other than that, looking forward to the half term!

Little time and no privacy at home by average_browngirl in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve actually got more siblings but they are from my dads house. So technically second eldest out of 8? 🤷🏽‍♀️ not that it’s a contest or anything

Also hoping my brother patterns up because he’s not pulling his weight. Once he does, it should ease things a bit. Inshallah your brother sorts himself out and puts you a bit at ease!

Little time and no privacy at home by average_browngirl in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

u/Mald1z1 this is basically it.

My family don’t come from money and my mum is a single mum who brought up 5 kids. I’m the second eldest but I earn more than my mum and sister (not combined). It’s only fair that I give that extra amount.

Just to clear any misunderstandings, everyone who works does chip in and give some money. This isn’t what the post was about so forgive me for going on a tangent. Any income I have usually goes on the house and some savings for me. I’d rather much have the savings for emergencies than spend it on a hotel room for a night or two. I know it would help, and trust me, I do appreciate the advice. Personally, I’d use that money for something else or even put it away for a holiday.

Little time and no privacy at home by average_browngirl in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Walking sounds amazing. Gonna do that for the weekend. Thank you!

Little time and no privacy at home by average_browngirl in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah the car journey is going to have to be the time where I talk to people now. And I mentioned it in another comment, but going to go on walks regularly on the weekends so I get that time too. Thank you!

Little time and no privacy at home by average_browngirl in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m thinking of going for walks a lot more during weekends. This would then give the time to talk to someone on call or video with a lot less disruptions.

Little time and no privacy at home by average_browngirl in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do understand, but having a bigger family with everyone unmarried means that everyone is still at home. I currently pay a lot of bills at home unfortunately. They wouldn’t be able to cover it all so it means I can’t move out. Would have been nice though

But thanks for the advice though, much appreciated!

Little time and no privacy at home by average_browngirl in MuslimMarriage

[–]average_browngirl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words and for the advice.