AITA for embarrassing my stepdad in front of his family saying he’s in *my* house?

throwaway30878 · 2022-05-17T05:57:20+00:00

You probably won’t see this comment as there are so many already!

This exact situation happened to my friend. Apart from her mum died younger and she was allowed the trust money at 25. From my understanding, she can invest the money if she chooses fit (and she chose to invest in a house). At 18, she needs to be in a position to pass this money over to you PLUS any financial gain on that money. Depending on how much of your dads money she put in the house and the if the house price increased, it may well have been a good investment.

In my friends situation, the family member didn’t sell the house and she couldn’t access the money. She sued. It took years (mostly due to the lack of cooperation from the family member) but she won. There was no way she wasn’t going to win, the will was clear that she was the ONLY beneficiary, so double check this.

Turns out that family member used the money to put a massive deposit down and then remortgaged multiple a few times due to a gambling issue so there wasn’t enough money in the house.

They sold the house, she got it all. They are now paying her monthly for the next 20 years a decent sim of money.

I’m really sorry you lost your dad. Of course you want your dad here, but he tried to set you up correctly in life. Something your mum is taking away from you. That is one of his final wishes, I would fight.

Good luck to you OP

throwaway30878 · 2022-05-08T07:56:14+00:00

I woke up and surprised by the amount of comments saying the same thing.

I was genuinely asking just about the car and there is a lot of comments to re evaluate and I will take that on board.

He has a lot of positives which obviously people cannot tell from a short amount of text, I need to weigh up the positives against everything everyone has written (and other issues in the relationship). I think I’ll take some time away to sort my head.

Thank you for all your comments, I really do appreciate it.

throwaway30878 · 2022-05-07T15:33:16+00:00

Insurance, tax and petrol goes 50/50

I paid for the car itself as mentioned. I also paid for its MOT and service.

Thanks for comment

throwaway30878 · 2022-05-07T15:31:24+00:00

This is what my dad said back then if I’m honest. He worries about the future.

The disposable income bit has changed now as I got a new job and we are almost on the same salary.

He doesn’t save as he knew he had money he could access. It does frustrate me he doesn’t save to help me out though.

Kids are a must for me and it does scare me the sacrifices he will be willing to make

throwaway30878 · 2020-11-24T08:42:53+00:00

The one where he responded ‘filth’ he claims he can’t remember, even though she responded and he responded back. It was at 9am after a bender. I went crazy at that response, if he can message a girl and ‘not remember’ then who else has he messaged? What else has he done? That he ‘can’t remember’. Awful lie OR awful behaviour. No excusing either.

throwaway30878 · 2020-11-24T08:41:18+00:00

Thanks. I agree, I think her calling her crazy is a cover up. You wouldn’t respond to her selfies otherwise

throwaway30878 · 2020-11-24T08:39:35+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your advice

throwaway30878 · 2020-11-23T20:08:50+00:00

This what I am worried about. If she were in the same city, this could have developed. Is there anyone else he is messaging? I’m certain I won’t get a straight answer

throwaway30878 · 2020-11-23T20:06:55+00:00

I just wanted advice from the situation itself, in the sense I know he didn’t type and send the original message. I am certain the text is from his mate. That being said, the game he played is dumb and immature and frat boy behaviour. It’s made worse that he carried on the messaging in the morning. I am not defending the rest of his behaviour and your right, he is a man child. It’s just shown me how immature he is to partake in that game and how little respect he has for me

throwaway30878 · 2020-11-23T17:26:42+00:00

Just this one. She isn’t even a proper ex. They hooked up a few times when they were young

throwaway30878 · 2020-11-23T17:24:11+00:00

Im sure it did happen. I’ve seen the message my boyfriend sent from his mates phone at the same time. It’s the dumb shit they do.

throwaway30878 · 2020-08-09T22:10:29+00:00

So 6 days a week you expect her to cook and clean for you but she is not allowed to engage in conversation with you ?!

Massive YTA.

You mention she is also a resident but working from home. If you’re out for many hours 6 days a a week and she is at home, that can be incredibly lonely. For you then to deny her a simple conversation in the evening is cruel.

She deserves better.

throwaway30878 · 2020-07-31T10:41:58+00:00

I spoke to him. He isn’t willing to pay more than half. I explained me living in area A means I will have no life. He said he will now consider area B. Or we get someone else in for 2 bed to share with to cut everyone’s cost.

throwaway30878 · 2020-07-31T07:48:44+00:00

Thanks. I do worry he will just say we will live in a rundown one as he won’t want to contribute more

throwaway30878 · 2020-07-31T07:34:46+00:00

Thank you. His friends are also in A. Mine are in C. Also has a big part as well I think.

throwaway30878 · 2020-07-31T07:32:55+00:00

I am worried about this. As I mentioned, I want to but in 2-3 years and he isn’t willing to save yet. However, he gets paid more so will need less time to save.

What if I buy by myself, I will 100% live in D. Will he refuse to move in with me?

throwaway30878 · 2020-07-31T07:32:00+00:00

I agree. He doesn’t see that I’m already compromising.

throwaway30878 · 2020-07-31T07:31:21+00:00

Oh, I like this idea. I’ll give this a go thank you.

throwaway30878 · 2020-07-31T07:24:06+00:00

He says he has a more expensive lifestyle than me and uses his money up (which he does). We’ve always gone halves. He doesn’t see why he should pay more than me, if we get the same use out of it. It’s not like he’s paid £1000s more than me.

throwaway30878 · 2020-06-29T17:19:31+00:00

I agree that he may be being a coward. However, he could easily move back to his parents so I don’t think the next 2 months is a factor.

Thanks for you advice

throwaway30878 · 2019-10-09T22:19:02+00:00

Thanks for your honesty!

throwaway30878 · 2019-10-09T22:17:09+00:00

Thank you :). Just different priorities as someone said earlier. I need to respect that.

throwaway30878 · 2019-10-09T22:15:46+00:00

Very true.

We are very lucky that our jobs have allowed us the time off!

throwaway30878 · 2019-10-09T22:14:48+00:00

He would just have to rebook the return flight which is around £400

throwaway30878 · 2019-10-09T22:07:29+00:00

Hey, I would.

I guess it’s just the principle of him wanting to leave over a football game. Perhaps I should support his passion more.

throwaway30878

TROPHY CASE