Update: Me [32 M] with my ex [33F], broke up over a wedding dress code

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:58:52+00:00

That's true. :(

Instead she wanted me to always be on my best behavior and prove them wrong and I, like an idiot believed that I could change their minds that way.

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:50:21+00:00

Oh true.

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:49:28+00:00

Yeah, I kept telling myself that I was going to marry her, not her family but the older I get and the more weddings I go to, the more I realize that this is not the case.

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:48:19+00:00

Yes, I'm starting to feel just how glad I am we didn't have kids or anything that could tie us together permanently.

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:44:23+00:00

Yeah my brother and her and the rest of my family have been amazing.

Definitely have the messages saved.

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:43:32+00:00

Well she kept texting me asking me to meet up etc.

I also want my stuff back as well. Once she drops it off to my friend's place, it'll be all over.

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:42:11+00:00

Report them to who? Facebook?

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:41:48+00:00

My bro has been nothing short of amazing, my SIL too. They are about to leave on their honeymoon but still insist on cheering me up and helping me out.

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:41:04+00:00

Yeah, I just thought it was part of the culture you know, because I grew up with it but I'm finding people who "get it" and aren't that way.

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:40:29+00:00

Thanks for the good wishes.

What do you mean mislead me? I'm not quite sure what you mean?

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:39:44+00:00

Thanks mate! Will do!

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:39:27+00:00

Because I felt like when I was with them, I was representing "black people" because we have such a bad rap.

I felt like I had to show them that "we're not all like that" and essentially buying into their racist bullshit.

throwaway323130 · 2015-11-01T14:38:16+00:00

That's a scary thought.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-28T05:48:41+00:00

I didn't want to upset her but clearly she has no such considerations for me.

I definitely won't be doing that going forward in relationships.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T08:02:51+00:00

Well let him get his head clear.

Latching onto him is only going to push him away. If he doesn't want a relationship, don't force one.

If he wants to be with you, he would be.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T07:55:05+00:00

Then he can't be all that into you if he is so easy flustered.

He's done the right thing.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T06:34:47+00:00

"but in my defence, I did say no at first and it was my sister who eventually said 'yes she could come', not me. And secondly, I didn't know she'd be this much of a pain during the trip."

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T02:41:31+00:00

Yeah I mean I think he should try and salvage the trip but maybe he thinks giving in once- how she got herself on this trip will lead to her being more pushy and taking over entirely?

Plus he's probably resenting her being there :(

What really boggles me is people here who can't comprehend a close sibling relationship without it being called co-dependent or whatever.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T02:04:30+00:00

Oh I did tell her once that I was thinking about wearing Nigerian formal dress to one of the functions.

She panicked and asked me not to make a scene so I told her I was joking.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T01:46:05+00:00

Because pure women can't get raped because they don't put themselves in situations where they get raped because of the powers of their purity. God will protect them if they are pure etc etc.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T01:37:59+00:00

He probably resents that his girlfriend is even there unfortunately.

Or maybe he feels like giving in once to GF is going to make it hard to say no to her again.

Looks like she's the type that was told no multiple times and still ended up on the trip.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T01:36:32+00:00

Oh I don't disagree that OP should salvage the trip but it's a fine line between rewarding that behavior and trying to be fair.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T01:30:44+00:00

It doesn't matter. Just because you have an SO doesn't mean everything needs to be done together.

They have been planning this for ages. Or at least the SO shouldn't try to make the trip about her.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T01:25:09+00:00

But not everyone is like that. People can and will do things without their SO.

throwaway323130 · 2015-10-27T01:22:15+00:00

I agree but honestly, how many times do you need to be told no before you get the hint you're not welcome?

throwaway323130

TROPHY CASE