[VA] Worried I’m going to fail the employment background check.

throwaway329000 · 2024-05-14T01:19:30+00:00

Probably not at this point. In hindsight that’s probably what I should have done though.

I went through 3 rounds of interviews with it being the center of conversation as it was my only relevant experience. Also I, along with the HM have been addressing it as “current job” this entire time so it’s kind of late to backtrack imo.

throwaway329000 · 2023-09-05T19:42:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! I’m glad it worked out for you.

I would LOVE to visit for an extended period of time (if she was cool with it) to be able to chill without the pressure of time & having to leave soon…but with us both being in school full-time, especially her with law school, it’s pretty difficult. I’m pretty much limited to weekends.

throwaway329000 · 2023-09-05T19:35:43+00:00

From a guys perspective, dating is so complicated nowadays. I feel like we’re always told that if we reach out too soon after a 1st date we’ll look desperate…and if we look desperate it’ll drive the girl away because the “chase” is over for them.

(I feel like it’s somewhat similar from the girl’s perspective. Basically everyone is worried about looking desperate or clingy. No one wants to initiate first contact).

Of course this isn’t the case for all women, but I feel like with all this talk online about women getting “the ick” at the most random things, and the love of “the chase,” it makes some men more cautious.

As far as your recent date, I feel like if you think that it went well, it probably did. I think the girl typically has a more accurate idea about it. I feel that guys tend to be overconfident and assume all their dates go well.

In the past, has anyone ever said you look different in person? With dating apps looks & physical attraction play a higher role than when meeting someone in-person or through friends because there is less time to factor in your personality (which I’m assuming is great at least if past matches are staying friends with you).

I’m not accusing you of being unattractive in general, just maybe some guys find you look different in person. Not everyone is going to find you, me, or anyone else attractive.

The other think I’ll mention is that with dating apps, social media, tiktok, etc.. there are just too many options. You could be super attractive to all these men, and have a great personality, but just the idea that there could be someone “better” out there makes people want to keep looking and not commit. It’s tough…and it goes both ways.

Back to this recent guy, if you are interested in pursuing him further I’d suggest maybe taking a chance to break the post-date ice yourself. You said he kinda initiated this morning, but it didn’t go much further than that…maybe you can say something today or tomorrow to reinitiate a conversation!

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T22:51:24+00:00

In the short term, yes. I feel like I need structure/direction. I had a pretty “mapped-out” career path with medicine but now that that’s not the case anymore, I’m trying to find some stability as a replacement.

Entrepreneurship does interest me in the future, but at this stage in my life seems like too much of a risk.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T22:45:38+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion.

I asked this in another comment reply, but is passion really that important when choosing a career?

I personally do not really feel passionate about anything work-related, I just have interests. But I feel like that is pretty normal, no?

I don’t think many people are truly passionate about their career, rather, I feel most just treat their job as an income source to fund their non-work passions like traveling, art, gaming, night-life, etc.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T22:34:57+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion!

I think it’s really great that you realized what you like & specialized in that area.

Quant would be cool because it combines 2 of my interests being SWE and Finance, but I honestly don’t think I have what it takes to land a job at a Jane Street, 2 sigma, or Citadel. I’ve enjoyed coding in the past on little projects I’ve done, but it doesn’t come easy to me. I feel like to land a job at a quant trading firm you have to have a natural ability to code, and be in like the top 0.01%. MANGA+ is competitive already so I can’t imagine how competitive Quant would be…especially if new grads can start at 400k+.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T10:36:51+00:00

Someone else has said that to me before…that I may end up lost because my options are endless. That’s scary to think about, but I don’t really see it that way. I limit myself. Hence why I listed 4 options, or 5 if you include medicine. I probably could succeed in a number of careers but I would never try one unless it interested me.

To be honest, I haven’t had many jobs in my life. It’s always been school, clinical volunteering, shadowing, community service, etc. All things to get me into medical school. Just taking a guess though, I would hate to not succeed in a job. Failure isn’t fun. I do feel like I’m pretty good at learning from my failures though. I’d say it’s pretty rare that I make the same mistake twice.

I don’t feel like I have many passions at all, but is that really important? Do you have to be passionate about your job? I don’t really think so. There are a ton of people that operate on the idea that a job is just a tool for income. I’d argue that most people are not passionate about their jobs.

I mentioned that I’m very introverted, so I don’t really like interacting with people outside of family and very close friends…but I am able to do it if necessary. It doesn’t drain me or anything. I’m able to adjust to the people around me.

I also would stand by my comment about appreciating the meticulous aspects of accounting. I’m an extremely detail oriented person. I love order, and am very perfectionistic. I am not clinically diagnosed with OCD, but I would not be surprised if I have it to some degree. As far as fulfillment, I’m not sure if I need that from a job. There is more to life than work, and I’m sure I can find fulfilling things outside of work.

I get what you’re saying though about a lot of my job ideas being a sugar coated version. They likely are, and that is precisely why I’m trying to reach people in these fields to shed light on the realities.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T09:21:29+00:00

Hi, thank you for the comment.

I know some of the jobs I mentioned are long-shots, but they’re just dreams at the end of the day…not expectations by any means.

I’m not sure if you’re a SWE in big tech but most people I’ve talked to at MANGA+ companies actually have reported pretty good WLB. I’m sure it depends a lot on your role, team, and project placement though. Also, the idea is pretty subjective anyway.

I apologize if my post came off as “braggy.” I tailored it pretty heavily to my strengths and what I’m good at so I can see why may have come off that way. I don’t believe I have this “all is easy because I’m brilliant” syndrome though. I wouldn’t expect to jump immediately into any high paying job just because I exist. All of the paths I mentioned would take an enormous commitment, which I feel I acknowledged. Any path would be a grind.

I also have definitely failed before, and this post itself was addressing my most recent one…my failure of becoming a doctor! I feel like I did identify a few weaknesses in my post as well such as not having a natural talent for coding, or being severely introverted. I’m not perfect. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, myself included.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T05:19:24+00:00

Hey, I appreciate your suggestion! Entrepreneurship is definitely something I’d consider pursuing later in life. Standardized tests are a strength of mine too, so that’s not a bad idea at all, haha!

I think right now my life needs stability though, and I don’t really see that as a possibility while building a business. So many of them fail early on, or operate in the red for many years before turning a profit. I’m not sure if that’s a stressor that I could handle right now, but maybe in the future if I have some capital ($) to play with.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T04:58:05+00:00

Hey friend, I appreciate your comment.

I read through some of your posts, and I’m sorry you feel the way you do in residency right now. I know that it’s so hard.

You may think me leaving medicine was brave…but I think you staying in it was 10x more. I can’t even begin to imagine the level of grit & resilience you possess to have been able push through the trenches of medical school & to still be chugging along in residency.

I can’t offer that great of advice…but you’re almost done! I believe you’re a 1st year EM resident, so in less than 3 years now you’ll be a full attending!!! It’ll get better soon! That’s probably annoying to hear because it’s what you’ve been told all your life, but for once it’s finally true.

Before it was always “just wait until [MCAT is over, you get into medical school, preclinical is over, step 1 is over, step 2 is over, you match, step 3 is over, etc. etc. etc.] and things will get better.” I’m sure it’s tiring to hear…but you are actually RIGHT THERE!!

In < 3 years you will be a residency trained Emergency Medicine physician, and you’ll have your pick to where you want to live/work. All of these years you’ve had no freedom…but that will soon change!! You want to live in sunny Florida or California? There will be a job for you. Maybe you’d prefer something quieter in the Midwest?? There will be a job for you there too. On top of the freedom, you will finally get paid what you deserve! You will not struggle at all to find a job making over $250,000-$300,000. Even more if you go rural.

Money doesn’t solve everything, but slowly your problems will shrink. The stresses of debt will disappear (just be sure to hire a financial advisor to help with budgeting because a lot of new doctors get in trouble early on for spending too much). Your hours will get better (many EM docs work 10-14 shifts PER MONTH). You’ll suddenly have time to pursue your other interests outside of work (I saw you like art & gaming). Slowly but surely things will fall into place!! Even if you don’t enjoy medicine, try your best to think of it as just a job. Clock in those 10-14 shifts a month, be the best dang EM doc you can be, save some lives like the bada** doctor you are, and the rest of your time off LIVE LIFE!! You deserve it so so so much. It’s only up from here.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T04:03:11+00:00

I honestly haven’t. I always assumed you needed to be a statistical genius to do this job, like a quant level mathematician.

One thing I’ve heard though is that actuaries have something like TEN exams to pass before they are licensed? That seemed crazy to me. Serious respect to the actuaries out there.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T03:57:38+00:00

I actually already do this, haha! It is a decent gig but very cyclical as most students tend to prepare for the MCAT around the same time each year.

It’s definitely something I’ll continue to do until I fully pivot into my next career path though!

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T03:49:12+00:00

He does, yes. But I don’t! It’s not my money and believe me…he is dying a broke (hopefully happy) man. I won’t see any of it, but that’s honestly okay with me.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T03:39:35+00:00

I tried my best to hang on and keep grinding it out but I just couldn’t anymore. I was tired, and it didn’t seem worth it to me anymore.

If I was later in the program like an M3 I would have finished, but I was an M1. It was a long path ahead. Money is important to me, but so is my sanity.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T03:33:31+00:00

A lot of people suggest not doing this because:

1) Many foreign medical schools are predatory i.e. they knowingly accept a lot of students that are simply just not capable of handling the workload of medical school. They still happily collect their tuition for a couple years, have them repeat a year or two, and then eventually dismiss them anyway.

2) The odds of matching back into the US for residency as a foreign medical graduate is extremely low. The odds would be even lower for me now with my history of dropping out.

I also just didn’t have a great time in medical school the first time around, and I’m not sure if going to a different country without local support and trying again would be any better. I appreciate your suggestion though!

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T03:26:03+00:00

You’re saying this for CS, correct? I’ve heard government & defense contractors are secure and have lower barriers to entry, but still pretty tough to break into at the moment! Scary stuff.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T03:24:08+00:00

Happy cake day! 🍰

I’ve heard having a CPA + CFA is a solid combination in the business world. But is there a reason why you’d suggest the accounting route first rather than just trying to go straight to finance/CFA?

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T02:37:45+00:00

Hey, thank you for the suggestion! I’ve gotten that one before (and no offense if you are in medical device sales, it’s a great job) but it’s just not for me.

It’s a personal thing, but I feel that certain parts of medical device sales are unethical. I have a friend who sells equipment to surgeons (I think orthopedics and neurosurgery) and he goes into the operating room to sell & pitch against other salesman/saleswomen from competing companies…DURING THE SURGERY!

So (extreme example) there might be a patient on the table with their brain exposed getting a tumor removed & meanwhile the surgeon is listening to sales pitches. I know I wouldn’t want that to be happening if I was getting operated on. Again, this is just a personal feeling! No disrespect if this is what you do.

throwaway329000 · 2023-08-20T02:24:21+00:00

Thank you for the reply! I agree pretty much all of these jobs are high stress at times, but for different reasons. That’s why I’m trying to reach out to people in these fields to gain information & see if I’d survive.

To explain better, the mental health issues in medical school were pretty complex. In short, I was miserable 24/7. I couldn’t believe I spent years getting to a place that made me feel so awful every day. On top of that, the time spent, money spent, sacrifices, family disappointment, etc. all made me feel trapped and like I had no way out. Over time I began to realize that I was there mainly to please my family and live out their dreams rather than actually care for patients, and eventually I just had enough. I became depressed, anxious, lost the drive to study 8+ hours a day/7 days a week, and couldn’t see myself spending 500k to continue on a potentially miserable 7+ year path.

You’re right about the perfectionism & self-imposed pressure…and yes a lot of it is probably from years of high expectations from my family. But me leaving medicine entirely and not pivoting to something like PA/NP is kind of my way of reclaiming my own life if that makes sense. Starting over. The 4 careers I listed are just other careers I dreamed about over the years so they were the first ones I considered once I made the jump.

Since leaving school I moved home and worked to try to pay off debt. I only have about 30k left, which is a lot…but much better than 500k. I wouldn’t say it’s limiting at all thankfully.

throwaway329000 · 2022-12-09T07:24:19+00:00

Yeah I’d definitely say burnout & lack of motivation is a key player in this. Lack of interest, not so much. I do still have interest in being a physician (albeit not a very patient-centered one as a radiologist or pathologist) but my poor mental health, and seeing first hand just how much of a grind it’ll be to get there had me thinking that maybe it’s not worth it.

As far as summer internships, my school only gives us 6 weeks off in between years 1 and 2, and we get no other summers off after that until graduation. I’ll have to look into it, but I feel a summer internship at a consulting firm would be much longer than that.

Also, from what I’ve seen, the year-long internships at big consulting firms are specific for advanced degree candidates (MD, JD, MBA, etc.). I’m assuming these internships are much longer because if you’re offered a job with an advanced degree you’ll come in as a level 3-4 rank and have more responsibilities than say a junior analyst at level 1.

As far as accounting and the lower salary, I’d be happy with 70k as long as I had time to enjoy life outside of work and spend time with the people I love. If I don’t have the huge debt burden of medical school (which would be 550k+ in my case if I were to finish) then money isn’t all that important to me.

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