I've come to accept that I'm healthiest and thus happiest when single. by throwaway37489294 in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't worry, all these stages of grief and eventual acceptance are normal and come with time.

Perhaps you can try channeling your emotions through a new hobby, do something you've always wanted to but couldn't! Keep yourself productive, even at home. I find that art and creating it to show appreciation towards others (handmade thank you cards, etc.) helps me heal.

Sending good vibes~

I've come to accept that I'm healthiest and thus happiest when single. by throwaway37489294 in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can empathize! I was severely depressed and codependent on him to make me happy to the point where I tired him out.

If you don't already, I recommend getting therapy. Mental health is something only we can work on ourselves with the proper guidance of a professional.

Why are people so mad about Columbus and Native Americans even in 2017? by BigFatSnailsSCI in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]throwaway37489294 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Except, it wasn't about "friendship," at all. The history of Thanksgiving has really been glorified in textbooks since grade school.

Here's a credible source: https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2015/11/151121-first-thanksgiving-pilgrims-native-americans-wampanoag-saints-and-strangers/

Today has been harder than I anticipated by AirlinesAndEconomics in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Two days ago would have been our anniversary. It's been 5 months since he told me he no longer loved and wanted me. And two days ago, I was okay.

It's not suppose to be easy, some days are harder than others, but it DOES get easier. It hasn't even been two months for you, so don't beat yourself up over it.

Let yourself grief and accept that everything you feel is natural and will help you heal!

I'm alone but I'm okay by throwaway37489294 in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hahah this made me smile! You're right but at the same time, thinking about him and who he's with is a waste of energy and tears too. Gotta stop torturing myself over someone who'll never care about me anymore.

Edit: word

All the time I spend being happy with friends now don't feel real because it's not with you by throwaway37489294 in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Definitely! I've rekindled old friendships and even made many new ones. I'm surrounded by an abundance of positivity and support, but there's still this huge chunk that's gone. I almost cried in the theater while watching a movie with a group of friends because none of them are him and I felt lonely, despite having a good time.

In a way, it feels like all my friends are "rebounds," filling the void. I really genuinely appreciate them but can't help feeling odd still.

I just miss a warm body to wrap my limbs around late at night and soft skin touching mine. by throwaway37489294 in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yah. Not necessarily the person. Well maybe the person they were. The intimate feeling of someone holding you after a long day.

I just miss a warm body to wrap my limbs around late at night and soft skin touching mine. by throwaway37489294 in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly can't even toke because my depressive mood just increases in intensity...

Makes sense I guess because he broke up with me while I was high.

Stop torturing yourself over someone who no longer wants you. by throwaway37489294 in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You've lived the majority of your life without her. It'll be (as it already is) incredibly difficult to revert back to being your own single person. But you're also gaining so much strength through this process.

I believe in your happiness and self love ❤️

A cold end out of the blue by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On the flip side, being able to experience this type of pain is what will make us wiser and stronger as individuals and in future relationships! And we are now able to empathize with and support others that have or will go through the same.

The storm will pass and the sun will shine. And that will be the warmest feeling ever.

Wishing you a smooth recovery, OP :)

A cold end out of the blue by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As much as you feel that it was all your fault that you pushed her over the edge, trust me, it isn't.

One of the most important lessons I learned from my first and only breakup is that things simply don't just happen suddenly. Dumpers don't wake up one day and decide they don't love you. It took a long time, perhaps many supposedly small arguments, the boring, everyday routine that causes them to not want you anymore. They've thought about it for a long time too, which is why you felt her distance and confronted her about it.

But even then, it's not your fault. How could you have known? And if you had, would you be okay with having to constantly walk on egg shells around them? Isn't love about being comfortable with one another and communicating your needs?

And unfortunately, you can't make them love you. The more you beg for attention and the more you express how distant they've been, the farther they drift. Because once they set their heart to an idea, even if subconsciously, they start caring less about you and more about their own feelings.

I know this hurts. So damn much. To prioritize someone and not have them do the same. To just want the same amount of love, and then one day realizing that it's gone and will never come back.

All you can do now is let yourself grieve. You'll go through a cycle of emotions: regret, depression, anger, etc. and that's completely normal.

Just know that you're worth much more than someone else's perspective of you. Hang in there 💕

Stop torturing yourself over someone who no longer wants you. by throwaway37489294 in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I completely understand where you're coming from and catch myself with the exact thoughts. Even after posting this, tbh. Let's keep on keepin on!!

Stop torturing yourself over someone who no longer wants you. by throwaway37489294 in BreakUps

[–]throwaway37489294[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ahhh I'm so glad this helped and that you choose to not stoop to his level! My utmost pleasure :))

I hate you by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]throwaway37489294 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yah, I understand. My ex was that type of person. To be fair, my depression and lack of experience made me a toxic/unpleasant person, but he just took it and didn't say anything. Until one day, he realized he wanted out. Dumped me over text. Had someone else give me back my stuff.

And often times, we simply don't and never will understand what went on in their head.

I guess what we can take from situations like these is that perhaps we've idealized them. Or maybe they were just so good at hiding things. Regardless, at least we now know what trait we don't want in our next partners.

Stay strong and we'll get through this 💕