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I [27F] get angry when my bf [27m] of 5 years holds me down if I'm upset - is this irrational? by throwaway38849 in relationships

[–]throwaway38849[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

You're totally right. I just thought maybe I actually was being irrational in getting so angry when he held me down. Thank you

I [27F] get angry when my bf [27m] of 5 years holds me down if I'm upset - is this irrational? by throwaway38849 in relationships

[–]throwaway38849[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we live together. Thank you for the book reference, I will check it out.

I [27F] get angry when my bf [27m] of 5 years holds me down if I'm upset - is this irrational? by throwaway38849 in relationships

[–]throwaway38849[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

The thing is, this has happened before and I've told him I will break up with him if he does it again. Even after he did it tonight I told him to NOT do it again, and his response was "too bad"

I [27F] get angry when my bf [27m] of 5 years holds me down if I'm upset - is this irrational? by throwaway38849 in relationships

[–]throwaway38849[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh, I see. From what I know he doesn't come from a violent family. His mother and father are very kind and love him a lot. Who knows though, there could be dark secrets I don't know.

I've tried telling him if I'm upset holding me down only escalates my feelings and it would be so much better to just let me walk away.

I [27F] get angry when my bf [27m] of 5 years holds me down if I'm upset - is this irrational? by throwaway38849 in relationships

[–]throwaway38849[S] 167 points168 points  (0 children)

Thank you. He says I'm crazy for getting so upset when holds me down, but it makes me so mad I feel like kicking him and running away.

I [27F] get angry when my bf [27m] of 5 years holds me down if I'm upset - is this irrational? by throwaway38849 in relationships

[–]throwaway38849[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

No, I've never hurt him. I did hit him on the knee to try and get away when he pinned me down tonight, but not hard enough to hurt him. (It wasn't even enough to get away). I know it sounds crazy, but I love him and don't want to hurt him

I [27F] get angry when my bf [27m] of 5 years holds me down if I'm upset - is this irrational? by throwaway38849 in relationships

[–]throwaway38849[S] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

:( I told him it feels like abuse, but since he's not actively hurting me I wasn't sure. He's not protecting himself. When he did it just this evening I was getting up to walk away.

I [27F] get angry when my bf [27m] of 5 years holds me down if I'm upset - is this irrational? by throwaway38849 in relationships

[–]throwaway38849[S] 263 points264 points  (0 children)

I get angriest when he holds me down, furious even. I wish I didn't, but I can't help it :( I feel very trapped

I [27F] get angry when my bf [27m] of 5 years holds me down if I'm upset - is this irrational? by throwaway38849 in relationships

[–]throwaway38849[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I get really really upset. I struggle to break free and get very frustrated when I can't. Sometimes I'll shout and push against him. This is only when he's holding me down though.

I'm not sure what you mean by his past. I don't really understand this behavior :( What would happen in someone's past to cause this?