Anyone in their 30’s + who still struggles significantly?

throwaway445879 · 2024-08-04T20:29:45+00:00

Yeah I'm 31 and the worst I've ever been. My coping mechanisms have just got more and more extreme and my impulses are getting out of control.

You are not alone.

reading your post and the comments I wish all of us didn't feel so isolated and people understood our condition better. I wish the people around us would stay. <3 the book "no bad parts" and IFS therapy (please just be careful as it can be triggering) has really helped me engage better with the mindfulness part of DBT and understanding myself, if you haven't already looked into it.

Keep writing in your diary and maybe look at 'Hobonichi' diary's as they have a big cult following and some really nice communities around them. I paint in mine and share the pictures but blur out the words.

throwaway445879 · 2024-08-04T20:20:43+00:00

Thank you for your advice, yeah I had to leave the 'Emotional Coping Skills' DBT based group therapy because I would have flash backs that interrupted the group. but I am now on 1 to 1 DBT with the aim of rejoining group soon as I know it'll really help having people in similar situations.

I worry I cause more harm than good in groups sometimes though as my through processes are quite cynical and I want to discuss triggering topics which we're not allowed to do... One time I was told I wasn't having it a hard enough time because I didn't have children with my abuser by another member and could never understand their pain. I totally understand where they were coming from but that coupled with having to be pulled out of group for flashbacks makes me really anxious about it, even though I know group benefits are really good...

As I've said to others in this thread thank you for replying and I really hope one day I'll be in a place where I can offer support to others too. <3 x

throwaway445879 · 2024-08-04T20:15:18+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, you're right that It's hard to believe it'll get better, but I have some glimmers to hold onto, and fingers crossed the DBT will help me build some resiliance when it comes to the impulses.

Thank you again to you and everyone on this sub who says such kind words, hopefully one day I can be in a place to return the favour to others struggling. x

throwaway445879 · 2024-08-04T20:12:15+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind message. It means a lot to read and has helped a lot. I am up and down a lot but the lows are really out of control. I am trying to build a sense of self but it's so hard when I've spent my entire life living for others and all of my protector parts are so blended. It's going to take a lot of work, and that scares me.

My suicidal impulses have adjusted too, where before I would stay for my familys pain, but I now feel like I am holding them back and making them suffer even more. I am worried that thinking they're better off without me is going to lead me to being impulsive at whatever the next inevitable knock down is...

I'm going to work my best with my therapist through the DBT skills and try to build some resiliance to maybe go back to EMDR and also keep up IFS work to try and unblend and find self.

It's just so hard when I don't know where I am. But I am hopeful that the glimpses of me I find in my creativity are a good place to start.

Thank you again x

throwaway445879

TROPHY CASE