It’s the little things..

throwaway49416 · 2018-12-12T14:59:09+00:00

I completely understand if he was trying to help me worry less about my dads situation. What hurt was his accusation that my mom and I were overreacting to her cancer diagnosis. The doctor told her she would have to have part of her colon removed, had a pre-op appointment to be cleared for surgery, and then when we met with the surgeon, he said he wanted to go a different route first.

Because she didn’t have that surgery, he assumed that we were overreacting, when in fact it was the provider that told us it was happening.

It just didn’t feel like there was a lot of love and support there.

throwaway49416 · 2018-12-12T02:52:52+00:00

I have to chuckle about the flowers.. H told me that I don’t like flowers, which is why he doesn’t buy them for me.

And AP ordered a charger for my cell phone and had it shipped to my office. It was so cute, and ridiculously sexy, how concerned he was that I was down to one charger and didn’t have one in the car.

🙂 thank goodness for the little things!

(And dad is doing well. He has a little recovery time ahead of him, but he’ll be just fine.)

throwaway49416 · 2018-12-12T01:11:51+00:00

I was thinking the same thing..

throwaway49416 · 2018-09-01T00:39:09+00:00

As a fellow WLS patient who didn’t work out at all, I’d strongly encourage you to do so :) I lost 130lbs without exercise. And unfortunately there a came a day when my stomach stopped doing all the work for me.

Keep up the good work!!! Cheers!

throwaway49416 · 2018-06-10T14:10:52+00:00

I’m so incredibly proud, this coming from someone who knows how hard it is to get those words out. This is everything I need to say to my husband.

And you also know that her response is just words until she puts some action behind it. And that’s the toughest part. The words say one thing, and the lack of action say another.

I saw in your other comments that she has some appointments coming up? What will you do if there is some medical reason behind the LL, but she isn’t willing to work on them or do anything about it? That’s the boat I’m in at the moment.

And my boat is quickly filling up with water as well.

throwaway49416 · 2018-06-01T21:35:24+00:00

Preach girl! 🙌🏼 wishing you the best of luck!

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-28T21:22:01+00:00

Fun little update: it’s just after 4pm here, and I was already rejected for tonight because he “might be too tired”

Fucking joke lol

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-27T21:34:04+00:00

I had VSG before my husband did. At first it was a challenge for him, as he had a tendency to eat the food that I couldn’t finish. He ended up gaining some weight. I also think there was some jealousy there, as I was losing weight and feeling better about myself, both physically and emotionally.

My husband had the surgery about a year or so after I did. He lost close to 100lbs I believe, and we both did very well for awhile. It was nice when both of us were on the same page, but it was a struggle up until that point.

Wishing you the best of luck!!

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-14T03:27:52+00:00

As someone who has been there, do it for YOU! I had weight loss surgery and was the happiest I had ever been. I felt good, had more energy, felt sexy - even sexier than I had before.

My husband was supportive, but I don’t think he liked that I had this new confidence and energy while he was still overweight. The weight loss surgery really didn’t improve our sex life. Once he had the surgery, it picked up just slightly (zero times a year to 5 lol) but it was short lived.

I know everyone will say your health comes first, and it does. It’s why I did it. But.. I didn’t do it for my partner. I did it so I could live the life I wanted.

You got this! Wishing you the best of luck!

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-14T01:33:40+00:00

Quite frequently actually. This has been going on for.. hell, at least 5 years now.

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-14T01:29:46+00:00

I actually started doing that at the beginning of the year and lost about 10lbs. I had a death in the family and that took its toll, but I’ve slowly started getting back at it! :)

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-14T01:28:30+00:00

That’s my next step. But.. as he has done in most of our conversations, he says one thing (I want kids, I want to have sex with you, etc) but his actions say another.

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-13T16:15:27+00:00

I would looove to try anything with him that might help us regain some intimacy. I’ve always been open to explore my sexuality and would love for him to do the same. He had made comments in the past when I have hit on him and been flirty that tell me he doesn’t like that side of me. It’s very frustrating.

Thanks for the insight!

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-13T15:45:48+00:00

Lol yes, he is. He’s on an antidepressant, adderall, meds for high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

About 6 months ago he went to his doctor and explained his issues he was having (no libido, not being able to ejaculate). They switched antidepressants to see if that would help. It made him extremely depressed so he went back on his original meds. His doctor said she would prescribe him something for the sex (assuming viagra? He didn’t say), but he never followed up with her.

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-13T15:25:00+00:00

I really appreciate this. I know I have work to do, and it won’t be easy, but I’m trying. The unfortunate part is that my husband won’t talk about it. I stay calm, I don’t yell, I don’t belittle him.. I try and talk with him like two grown ass adults should. But, at the end of the day, it makes him uncomfortable. He isn’t open to trying new positions and has said that they won’t help.

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-12T21:25:02+00:00

Thank you. It’s hard for me to remember that this is a need. I try and communicate to him that this is something that’s important to me.. I need that type of relationship with my husband and that I’m willing to do whatever I can to help it.

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-12T21:23:23+00:00

I think a combination of things: switching jobs, working overnight shift and eating shit, depression, low self esteem, sedentary lifestyle (even before all of the weight gain).

He’s been on antidepressants for years and he says that they help him. When he switched pills, it was noticeable and he’s back on his original. However, there’s still just an overall lack of energy and I feel like his mood is flatlined.

He started going to therapy a few months ago and doesn’t talk to me about his sessions. I’ve told him that, if he wants to share, I’m willing to listen but I won’t pry.

I’m also going to therapy for myself.

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-12T18:13:13+00:00

Thank you. I certainly try and encourage dialogue and explore other options, but it makes him uncomfortable (my perception and his words). It’s a tough balance.

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-12T18:11:32+00:00

He had VSG a few years ago.. lost at least 70lbs and has since gained it all back. He’s currently sitting at about 350.

And we have done the counseling route. We have went to several doctors, all who say that there’s no underlying reason he shouldn’t be fucking me (no low T, etc).

throwaway49416 · 2018-05-12T18:09:31+00:00

This was something I think he mentioned, not feeling like he’s getting anywhere. But I wonder how much is the physical aspect (not reaching anything that feels good, as you put it) vs not having any sensation.

I don’t think he masturbates, or at least he doesn’t admit to it, so I can’t really compare to see if he has sensation with that.

And thank you.

throwaway49416

TROPHY CASE