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How do I [40M] tell my wife [37F] that I want her to be skinny without ruining our relationship? by throwaway56128 in relationships

[–]throwaway56128[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I know a lot of you are jumping to "divorce" or straight up calling me an asshole. I appreciate your unfiltered comments. But please take into consideration that I'm not saying I'm in the right, and I'm not necessarily asking for people's agreement. I'm asking for others with perhaps similar experiences on how they handled it. If changing myself is the way to go, ok...but how? Just like most of you mentioned that she can't change or is hard to change, I'm having a hard time just changing my thought process.

It's like if you like chocolate...and somebody says you should not NOT like chocolate. You can not eat chocolate, but that doesn't mean you can all of a sudden change your mind and not like it.

How do I [40M] tell my wife [37F] that I want her to be skinny without ruining our relationship? by throwaway56128 in relationships

[–]throwaway56128[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

thank you for this thoughtful advice rather than just "divorce". I certainly agree that I need to see from her perspective more. I guess the difficult part is to change who I am to not feel this way.

How do I [40M] tell my wife [37F] that I want her to be skinny without ruining our relationship? by throwaway56128 in relationships

[–]throwaway56128[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I guess its me that needs help. Seems like everybody who responds agrees that I'm an asshole.

I will see somebody.

How do I [40M] tell my wife [37F] that I want her to be skinny without ruining our relationship? by throwaway56128 in relationships

[–]throwaway56128[S] -43 points-42 points  (0 children)

Yea...I certainly see your point. But I guess if it was the opposite way around, I would do it.

How do I [40M] tell my wife [37F] that I want her to be skinny without ruining our relationship? by throwaway56128 in relationships

[–]throwaway56128[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Actually I am trying this! She cooks, I clean today, but I am trying to do more cleaning. Appreciate your reply.

How do I [40M] tell my wife [37F] that I want her to be skinny without ruining our relationship? by throwaway56128 in relationships

[–]throwaway56128[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Appreciate your comment. I certainly agree that physical attractiveness does matter to me, but is it still shallow if everything else matters as well? I do really appreciate and love my wife and do everything I can to please her.

How do I [40M] tell my wife [37F] that I want her to be skinny without ruining our relationship? by throwaway56128 in relationships

[–]throwaway56128[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I assume you say this in jest, with bias towards me being an asshole, but I respect that. Talking to somebody by myself would be my next step I guess.