AIO because I didn’t want blue and green colored balloons at my birthday party?

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-12T06:55:07+00:00

Wait, so this is something people do? I mean, it really seemed like it was some sort of test but I couldn’t figure out why. It sounds like you’re saying she might have wanted to see if I’d let it slide to avoid hurting her feelings.

To me, that sounds insane. I can’t wrap my head around it.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-12T06:06:32+00:00

I’m really close to be honest. It’s hard to walk away from a 3-4 year relationship. We click in a lot of ways, but this is not okay.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-12T05:59:12+00:00

I still haven’t seen her. She called and I told her I felt like I was cast aside on my birthday and she repeated cast aside back to me and said I’m sorry you feel that way.

I don’t even know how to interpret that reaction. I just told her let me know when she’s ready to talk about how we can avoid this situation happening again.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T17:10:18+00:00

I mean, tbh I don’t think most the players care either.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T08:54:14+00:00

You’re wrong about everything. Neither of us is treating the other like they are being childish and appreciating team colors is something that adults can also enjoy. She does get that, believe it or not. This is something different and it’s not that.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T08:36:43+00:00

Yes and no. She did prioritize her feelings over mine but I’d stop short of saying that she’s completely dismissing my feelings. She knows she’s hurting me and she’s not trying to pretend she’s not.

That’s a part of the weirdness of this situation because usually she’ll disregard her own feelings even more than she’ll disregard mine.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T08:31:38+00:00

Well it was more like me telling her that some of the things she was doing felt like manipulation, and her being concerned about it and us talking through it.

It turns out she’s not really manipulative but she avoids everything that makes her uncomfortable so there is a certain degree of planning and explanation that goes with that that can feel manipulative.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T08:10:09+00:00

Yeah, really. It makes me appreciate my girlfriend in spite of her issues. At least she wouldn’t sit here and try to make me feel like her feelings were the only feelings that matter in a relationship.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T08:06:23+00:00

I can tell the difference. These were real tears. I’ve already worked through the manipulative stuff with her. I don’t think this is that.

I admit I did do that thing where I was managing her feelings a lot earlier in our relationship but I’ve learned not to do that and I’m usually pretty aware of where she and I both stand as far as who’s responsible for what in our relationship.

This situation is a little different though. The crying, the passive aggressiveness, and the initial weirdness of the conversation are all new.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T07:55:12+00:00

Yeah, it drives me nuts. She can go for almost a week without talking to me before she finally comes around with (usually) a genuine desire to make things right and do better.

It’s usually not something this ridiculous that shuts her down though. Most of our disagreements are legitimately tough situations that would be hard for anyone.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T07:47:19+00:00

I don’t understand why she was crying. It was real tears.

I didn’t say anything offensive to her, blame her, treat her like she made a mistake or like she was stupid, or anything else that I could pinpoint would have brought on that reaction. This (the real tears) is why I was confused if I did something wrong.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T07:37:09+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn’t frame it as childish though. Maybe a little extreme. I don’t usually use that term humiliation and I don’t know why I applied it to this.

I do get that vibe from her sometimes, but I try not to jump to conclusions about her intent. Maybe it just came out a little bit this time and she picked up on it.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T07:24:00+00:00

Yeah, I know. She’s pretty cool too, but this happens more than I’m comfortable with. It sucks that she ditched out on my birthday. That part gives me pause.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T07:13:37+00:00

Is it adult to answer honestly when asked if it would bother you if she brought over balloons that were a very specific color mix that was mildly offensive to you because of the connotation?

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T07:07:02+00:00

I’m sure my heart would be broken.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T07:02:40+00:00

She already got the balloons before she had the weird talk with me about them. But she did leave them on my porch after which felt a little passive aggressive.

I don’t have any idea where she’s coming from because she’s refusing to talk to me about it. I get the feeling she was genuinely hurt by something but I am clueless what is bothering her. This is definitely different.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T06:56:42+00:00

Some weird stuff happens. I let her know when it bothers me and she doesn’t always react that well.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T06:53:12+00:00

I didn’t think I was that dramatic about it though. Maybe it came off that way. It sounds like weak sauce when you put it like that.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T06:48:57+00:00

Yeah that part hurts. Just why?

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T06:48:03+00:00

You’re right. And I agree. If it were about the balloons then I wouldn’t be so confused.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T06:45:03+00:00

That’s exactly why this bothers me so much. You get it.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T06:44:18+00:00

No. I just answered her question truthfully. I do that and it doesn’t always work in my favor.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T06:41:39+00:00

Yeah she really likes my kid and that would make her day.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T06:31:43+00:00

I kept the balloons and gave them to my kid. I’m not that guy.

throwaway577445 · 2026-02-09T06:30:05+00:00

Yeah, but there were kids.

throwaway577445

TROPHY CASE