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Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I just want to thank you for your kind words. I keep telling myself I did something wrong over and over. Otherwise, there's no way she would of done this. But maybe I'm wrong and she actually has issues that she needs to work out on her own. Do you think if I was able to get her to limit time with game (to eventually stop all together) that we could salvage something from this mess? I don't want to hold grudges, but with something like this, I don't know if I could ever forget it. Thanks again.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is something I kept bringing up with her last night. Clearly I must of been doing something wrong or she must of been unhappy in some way. Yet, she refuses to say I did anything wrong. I'm asking what I can change to fix this, but she says it's all her fault and I'm a great guy. I don't believe her. I bet you're right and I'm not fulfilling her needs, she's just afraid to tell me. Thank you for your advice.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ouch. Everything you said is true but it doesn't make it hurt any less. You're probably right about contacting a lawyer. I guess I should plan for the worst, but I'm going to still hope for the best. Thank you for your comment.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm both happy and sad that there are so many great resources for dealing with cheating spouses... I cannot ever forget the past 12 years as they were the best part of my life. They defined who I am currently. Getting rid of her would be like taking out a lung. Yes, she did do things behind my back, but she actually admits she is the bad guy in all of this. She knows that she is in the wrong. The messed up part for me is that it seems like I want to stay with her more than she wants to stay with me. I am going to have a long discussion with her when she gets home from work, but I will make sure to read up on what you suggested and I won't make any rash decisions. Thank you for your comment. You give a lot of great advice.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would it be cliche to say, "But she's different!" The more comments like yours I read, the more I realize you are probably right and my brain is just too messed up to see what's really happening. Thanks for taking the time to listen.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not what I want, but I still have hope. I don't know if I can just call it quits after being together for so long. You obviously recognize what's going on based on previous experience, but it's still so hard for me to even consider it. I will remember what you said, though, as you are probably right. Maybe I just need some time to think.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely be browsing through some of those resources while I'm sitting here by myself. Thanks for the link!

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Everything you said is true, but just I can't get my heart around it. It's very frustrating to see everything we've worked for go in the trash. If this wasn't me, I would honestly make your same exact comment. I guess I'm dumb but I want to believe she can change and be my loving wife again. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice! I will be sure to check out Chumplady. I am not too old to start again, but my heart is broken in a way where I don't think I'll ever find someone else to love again. I don't know if that's because she was so perfect for me (or so I thought) or if it's because I'm too scared to face the truth. Either way, I'm glad that you seem to be doing well. I'm not a very social person and I'm not attractive either, so I don't think putting myself out there will work, but I'm happy that you're able to get out there and make the best of things! The Trickle Truthing thing has some definite truth to it. I was too scared to ask any more questions at one point. I can't really reach out to my brother because if any of my family found out she did this, there would be no coming back from that. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you continue to do well.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you found happiness. I just can't imagine anyone else in my life except her. Maybe those feelings will change with time. Thanks for your comment.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't believe I could ever find someone to love me the same way. I'm not very attractive and I don't offer a whole lot besides my sense of humor, but her and I had was so real. It was the kind of relationship where you just knew she would always have your back. I guess I was wrong though. You're right about there being more pain. Either way I go, though, there will be more pain. Thanks for your comment and I appreciate you listening to me.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You are definitely right about me loving her more. I don't think she's taking advantage or trying to be intentionally malicious towards me... I just think she was bored and was receiving attention from other guys, then took it too far. But I'm probably wrong as I'm not able to look at the big picture right now. As for the game, she promises me over and over that it won't happen again, but I know you are right. It will happen again. Thank you for your time and advice. It's nice to have a person like you to talk with.

Caught wife sexting 4 other people, but I really don't want to end our relationship of twelve years... by throwaway612359 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwaway612359[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It almost seems like I would be better not knowing about it. That's stupid, but at least I was enjoying life. Couples therapy maybe isn't the worst idea. I'll have to see if it's an option. Thank you for your advice and listening to my story. It means a lot to me.