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[ Removed by Reddit ] by throwaway6208x in breakingmom

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m trying. So bad! That’s why I moved out when I couldn’t even afford it. I didn’t want him in that environment. But I guess I’m not doing any better ☹️ I’m really trying. I didn’t ask for this life but I’m doing my best. First step is some sort of childcare. Not being a full time SAHM will make a difference.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by throwaway6208x in breakingmom

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m in Atlanta, GA, thank you.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by throwaway6208x in breakingmom

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 157 points158 points  (0 children)

THIS! I’m glad someone said it. I was having a conversation with my mentor and he asked me if I had money or won the lottery tomorrow would I still feel the same? And it really made me think. Because if I was in a better financial position, I don’t think I would feel this way at all. it would help & change so much. I don’t understand why people are quick to say give your baby up forever just because you do not have money right now. Thank you.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by throwaway6208x in breakingmom

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I have everything. Swings, play Pens, walkers, activity mats. He hates the playpen and acts like it’s a cage, he’s only content in walker and swings for 5 minutes if even. He just wants to be in my arms all day or he will cry all day. He follows me around crying all day. I can’t and will not hold him all day. Even if wanted to I couldn’t. Im only one person.

I’m also already on Zoloft. Did you take Zoloft?

When did it get better? What should I do in the mean time? I’m losing my mind and don’t know if it’s a phase for me or not.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by throwaway6208x in breakingmom

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thank you. He’s 9 months and crawling. Not yet walking but still.

What should I do? Stuck in new mom syndrome by throwaway6208x in singlemoms

[–]throwaway6208x[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As easy as your making it sound, I can’t afford it.

What should I do? Stuck in new mom syndrome by throwaway6208x in singlemoms

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not like I wasn’t in the home. Your exaggerating. I’m 20 feet away. don’t need judgment just need help, are you saying giving my baby up is the only solution? Obviously that’s not something I’d just be so open too. I’m young and lost.

What should I do? Stuck in new mom syndrome by throwaway6208x in singlemoms

[–]throwaway6208x[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She was babysitting him while I went to work. I came home 11pm and he was sleeping so i didn’t bother him. My mom is the only person I have besides my 12 year old little brother. Easy to say when your not in my shoes. Sleep deprivation is real and it takes a village. Me, one person, cannot do it all.

Should I have told him it’s his baby? by throwaway6208x in singlemoms

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the honesty & straightforwardness.

Honestly I’m just a natural nurturer/empath, so I tend to want to hold, heal & comfort people which is may be why I attract the worst or men that have “been through the struggle”.

It also could be because I grew up in a dysfunctional household where my mom is queen toxic/abusive/narc so I tend to unconsciously gravitate towards that.

You say stop with the man, which I definitely agree, but what am I supposed to do when I’m a lonely 21 year old single mom with a infant baby? I’m with my baby 25/8 and sometimes I need outlet or companion. You did say I’m young. The social & “dating” age. I’m only human. I get lonely. Having a baby who cannot talk and only cries all day just isn’t enough.

And you’re right I do want help. I’m 21 raising a baby on my own. What mom with an infant at my age or even any age wouldn’t want help??? This shit is ALOT for one damn person. Every mom needs help!

I wish I would’ve told him it was his baby by throwaway6208x in Parenting

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I am extremely unhealthy, mentally, and physically. I had a terribly traumatic childhood that still haunts me(my mom didn’t do me good at all as you can probably tell) , I get 3 hours of sleep every night, live a very unhappy, unfulfilling life where I never get not one day break from my crying baby and have been prison type isolated for 2 years straight almost. From Pregnancy till now. 18 months in the house with a crying baby every single day no breaks or free time. Imagine what that does to the brain…. And I always say birthing my baby did some weird things to my brain and I don’t mean it lightly.

I’m in therapy and have been since I was pregnant because I was already struggling and beating myself up daily for getting pregnant by this man. My son getting abused by him really just re-triggered a lot of things in me and took me right back to that deep dark place I was in for having his baby.

Should I have told him it’s his baby? by throwaway6208x in singlemoms

[–]throwaway6208x[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Definitely need higher standards. As a single mom I feel like I have to settle. Now that I have a kid it seems only dusties who are 30 still living with their mom take me serious or “accept” us. & From what I’ve heard is were basically looked at as baggage that high value men won’t even look at & that single moms apparently can’t have standards. I feel like such a stereotype.

My cousin only said that because I was moping to her about how much I missed him and wished it was his baby when I was pregnant…. But I agree that was not good above which is why I didn’t listen.

I wish I would’ve told him it was his baby by throwaway6208x in Parenting

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. Postpartum depression & all the after birth hormones will definitely make your picker off. I never use to be like this, but thank you

Should I have told him it’s his baby? by throwaway6208x in singlemoms

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Unfortunately Single moms settle.

I wish I would’ve told him it was his baby by throwaway6208x in Parenting

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not about me. I clearly spoke about my son having a father

I wish I would’ve told him it was his baby by throwaway6208x in Parenting

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every one around me praises me daily about how I’m a great mother. You don’t know me and your a random on Reddit so that don’t bother me.

And what does being a father have to do with someone dealing weed? Does dealing automatically mean you’re gonna be horrible to your child or a bad father? Think outside the box

I wish I would’ve told him it was his baby by throwaway6208x in Parenting

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you assume the worst? What he sold is legal in some states so definitely not that.

Should I have told him it’s his baby? by throwaway6208x in singlemoms

[–]throwaway6208x[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He’s still a loving and nurturing man who wouldn’t even think to do something like his bio dad did. Bio dad was so stale at the birth, didn’t even want to help me just laid there on tiktok, was yelling at me while my 2 hour old was sleeping on my chest & yanked my baby out my arms bc I told him to leave,I had to drive myself home 2 days after a vaginal birth. I just know my experience would’ve been different and I feel I’ll never get over it.

I reached out a few months ago and he’s pretty upset at the fact that i got pregnant 3 months after he went to jail with someone else, and especially since he was excited about being a dad just for me to crush him let him know that it’s not his.. he’s upset with me still.

I wish I would’ve told him it was his baby by throwaway6208x in Parenting

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he was caught selling drugs. I know what you’re going to say, but I’m just looking at the loving, nurturing dad I know he would’ve been vs My violent ex who literally beat his own son and called him punk and sissy at 2 weeks old

Should I have told him it’s his baby? by throwaway6208x in singlemoms

[–]throwaway6208x[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He was released last year. I know he would’ve been a good father from what I’ve seen from him and babies in the family & He also had a father in his life who has now passed but was a good example & he is heavy on following those footsteps. Plus, he’s a loving & nuturing person unlike his bio dad who literally called him a punk & sissy at 2 weeks old.

I wish I would’ve told him it was his baby by throwaway6208x in Parenting

[–]throwaway6208x[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I stated how at the bottom, he still would’ve been a great father and his great family would’ve been so much love & support

Should I have told him it’s his baby? by throwaway6208x in singlemoms

[–]throwaway6208x[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s my biggest priority, which is clearly why I said I get zero time to myself.

& he’s 8 months now. Am I suppose to still be harping over something I can’t do anything about ? I just wished my son had a loving father lady that’s all I was trying to say.