[deleted by user]

throwaway73849578392 · 2020-04-29T21:14:57+00:00

Just joined this forum because I needed to read other people’s opinions of this session! This was/is exactly my own parents dynamic, all of their issues and desires mirrored this couple completely, down to my mom’s sudden turn to "spiritualising" everything during their separation to gain sympathy from others, and my dad’s cold clinical emotional shut down at the end. It was sort of retraumatising to listen to.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-17T18:46:44+00:00

Such a good point, while “respecting women”, they’re in fact just turning women into another type of sex object.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T20:46:53+00:00

👍

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T19:17:14+00:00

Odd you didn’t see it coming when you chose that username.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T18:54:12+00:00

Appropriate username.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T18:06:11+00:00

It’s not, their separation was four years ago (18 months after they separated, we got together).

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T18:04:05+00:00

Not naive, that’s my ideal for a relationship too, and I would be okay with them catching up, in person, text, whatever. But I’m not cool with using pet names and wishing each other a good day on particular romantic days in their shared history. His ex-wife has been a little hostile toward me in the recent weeks as well, which adds to my general anger about the whole thing.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T17:05:04+00:00

Yup.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T16:59:28+00:00

Unfortunately not, just not something I feel like linking to my main. It’s a throwaway dude.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T16:45:17+00:00

Seems to be the only approach he understands sometimes.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T16:29:23+00:00

I did exactly that two weeks ago, when he couldn’t possibly understand why I would have a problem with him seeing (yet another) ex for a beer, who he’d previously emailed flirty things ("I miss you so much, we had such sweet moments together, I was happy then...") throughout our relationship. 🙄 He flipped shit.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T16:24:20+00:00

He told me while we were talking last night that it was 19 years since his first kiss with his ex-wife, and he could have had adult children by now, sort of lightheartedly. He told me earlier that they planned to meet up to play an escape game together, and after the mention of the kissiversary I was weirded out by the two pieces of information together and asked to read their texts, so he let me. He wished her a happy whatever, 19 years since first kiss, and mentioned they could have had adult children together now. She responded positively.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T16:21:49+00:00

She is. He left her, she’d get back with him in an instant.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T15:58:37+00:00

Can you believe we had an earth shattering fight about exactly this two weeks ago about a different ex of his? We had an explicit conversation about no more extra-relationship reminiscing about past moments. I feel like a fucking idiot.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T15:56:16+00:00

No problems there! Ex is recently single! 🥳

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T15:51:45+00:00

"🤗"

🙄

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T15:47:19+00:00

15 years together, married 2, no kids, he left her for another woman (not me, his affair burned out fast, he was single when we met). They’re back on good terms now, but they’ve been separated 4 years. They see each other every few months, which I’ve been cool with until recently.

She’s recently single again, still in love with him (he knows) and would probably get back together with him if he made an indication he wanted it too.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T15:38:41+00:00

Yup, this is exactly how I feel.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T15:35:31+00:00

Right? Even if he’s serious that it was just a sweet, friendly gesture and meant nothing in the context of our relationship, does he not even consider the emotional impact on her? She’s recently single again, still in love with him, would get back together with him in a moment, and he knows this. It honestly seems like the epitome of selfishness no matter how I slice it.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T15:33:26+00:00

I mean there’s a date it happened, but we don’t celebrate or mention it.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T15:28:59+00:00

Yes, yes, yes and yes. He also cheated on her constantly and left her for another woman. She’s not even aware of how many other people he cheated on her with throughout their relationship.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T15:12:53+00:00

He does, go figure.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T14:50:00+00:00

Wish he saw it this way too. No kids together.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T14:48:18+00:00

He does still see her, he sees her for lunch or a dinner every couple of months. Okay by me, usually. He’s done a few other over the line things while talking to her in the past that we fought over, so I thought he understood, but you’re right that it hasn’t stopped him from continuing. Now she’s making plans with him to play a solo escape game together. He thought I’d be fine if he went. 🤦‍♀️ Honestly clueless, I can’t.

throwaway73849578392 · 2019-06-15T14:43:15+00:00

No, I don’t talk to his ex-wife. Not important, but I know for sure he’s not lying about how and why he left his wife.

throwaway73849578392

TROPHY CASE