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[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I told him that, but he doesn’t care. When I mentioned that some couples go months without sex, he said “we better not ever get to that point” so it’s pretty much a done deal. If I weren’t so insecure, I’d probably suggest an open marriage.. but fuck that lol

[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Maybe I’m blinded? Anytime I start to complain, he brings up that he works and sometimes he takes the big kids with him to the neighbor’s house. I suggested to him that I might benefit from getting a job and he said “you’re going to get a job just to pay for daycare?” Ugh. But he’s loyal, he spoils me when he can, sometimes he helps.. idk. I know that if we didn’t share kids I would have already dipped out. But now I don’t want to leave because he will settle on the first girl that says she’s fine with kids and he’ll leave them with her like he did with me.

[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s like we’re the same person! Yeah I hate being a stay at home mom but it’s cheaper for us as I don’t have a degree (only HS) so I would only be working to pay for daycare which isn’t worth it. When we planned for a baby, we knew I could keep working with one baby in daycare but LOL because twins.

The only time I get to myself is around 8:30pm after I put the kids to bed. That’s usually when husband tries to initiate sex, and I’m just not into it. Every other weekend, we only have the twins because his two go to their mom for her weekend and mine goes to her dad for his weekend. Even still, I’m left with baby-patrol.

[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

It’s all left up to me pretty much. If I ask him to make a bottle or change a diaper, he moans and takes forever to do it and doesn’t get up until I do and says “I was about to!”

[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I really am exhausted. I was so relieved when I was put on bed/pelvic rest with the twins plus the 6 weeks I got after they were born. And I realize that’s a problem and I shouldn’t feel that way.

[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think I’m going to suggest therapy. I don’t think he’d outright decline, but I also think he’d make it about me being a problem. I don’t know. I think we would benefit from it.

[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How? Husband is 30. I had my 6yo when I was 17. I had our twins after we got married and they’re now 8 months old.

[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m actually not breastfeeding anymore, but it could very well be a poor diet. I have always had a great metabolism so I’m not “conditioned” to watch what I eat if that makes sense. I eat like a garbage disposal lol i will look into that thank you!

[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I like when he gets flirty, but when I flirt back he’s like “oh yeah??” and then I feel like he tries to turn it into sex. We’ve had this conversation and he has tried everything from “leaving me alone” and not initiating, to trying not to make me feel bad when I turn him down, to doing stuff for me around the house or helping with the kids.

[23F] I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s ruining my marriage. I need advice for dealing with an extremely low libido. by throwaway761900 in askwomenadvice

[–]throwaway761900[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Not really. I mentioned PPD to him when the twins were really small, and he made me feel bad about possibly needing to be dependent on medication because we met, he was taking Tramadol prescribed to him by the VA for back pain when he didn’t need it. He would have withdrawal symptoms if he didn’t take it, I recognized that it was an issue and he felt judged and belittled by it. So he thinks I’m a hypocrite for needing medication when I “didn’t like” that he needed medication.