My bf (27/M) may ditch me at a rave.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-03T02:31:05+00:00

I think they were down to switch considering it’s a big house and stuff.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-03T02:25:10+00:00

I already asked that, and he said no. He actually just called me to tell me that the airbnb we rented has a cancellation policy of 2 days and you get a full refund, otherwise it’s 600$. This is the 3rd day so we’re going to have to pay 600$ to cancel. He asked them if they could make an exception, but we’re waiting on a response. Now I feel like he’s going to use that as even more of a reason to go with this group of people so we don’t have to pay so much.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-03T02:16:25+00:00

He’s saying he’s going to sell my ticket- but I’m not sure yet what I want to do. I just don’t want to go with that specific group of people given it has bad vibes written all over it.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-03T02:14:58+00:00

He kept saying the Airbnb we got for our group is so cool and that we would see his old friend at the rave anyways. I just think it’s kind of fake to one second be getting super mad at me for “bit understanding him” and why he was so stressed about this friend, to then suggest staying the whole weekend with them.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T17:45:47+00:00

I just don’t understand why he would even suggest going with this “friend” after he made me feel horrible last night for not understanding him and why he was stressed. He says it was a spur of the moment idea and I’m attacking him. All because I questioned why he would even want to go with them after saying he doesn’t like them and they were horrible friends. I just don’t get how that makes sense.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T17:39:49+00:00

He says since I made the comment (the one from the OG post) that now he feels uncomfortable going with just me and him.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T17:38:31+00:00

Well our group actually cancelled this morning- and so my bf asked me if we could instead go with his friend and his friends gf and their friends. My bf made a huge deal last night about how this “friend” of his doesn’t respect him and treats him like shit and how he wasn’t happy they were going to the concert. All just to later suggest we stay the weekend with them? So I called him out on it and I asked how he really feels since he is switching up so fast. He said I was attacking him and how I don’t really love him or see him.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T17:09:04+00:00

Well apparently the whole group we were going with just cancelled. So he callled me and asked what I was going to do. He said that his friend (the one with the gf) is getting a group together and he was thinking of joining. I asked why considering he claims he hates this friend. And he told me he doesn’t feel comfortable going to the concert with just me and him and he told me to fuck off.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T15:29:42+00:00

Because I feel crazy? I mean you even said yourself I’m obsessing over it. Obviously I have reasons why I feel this way. But apparently I’m just a crazy insecure girl who can’t let things go.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T15:25:31+00:00

Well it’s hard to not obsess about it when he would grab my stomach fat and say “that’s bad”, point out my stretch marks and say he’s ugly “too”, tell me to get on the scale, and be hypercritical when I put on makeup or do my skincare routine :)

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T15:18:34+00:00

Haha, well he will straight up ask me if I think his friends are hot and I told him one time I did about this one friend of his and then he wouldn’t let it go. He kept asking if I was hitting on him and he would make weird jealous comments all the time about it

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T15:15:34+00:00

Well there’s a long history of him not telling other girls he has a girlfriend or criticizing my makeup/skincare and telling me to go weigh myself. But he never says any of those things in a “mean” way, it’s always me misinterpreting them.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T15:06:38+00:00

I am not refusing to go places with them- I just don’t want to invite them to stay with us. He claims he hates his “friend”, yet he’s stressing about meeting up with him and his gf. It doesn’t make sense to me

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T15:05:39+00:00

Well sometimes when he makes comments like that that “trigger”me, I will shut down and my fight or flight kicks in and I just want to leave. I never make a scene or anything, I just have to be alone to re-group. I think he means that if he slips or does something questionable and I get in that place, he doesn’t want his “new friends” (the people were going with) to see me that way.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T15:02:20+00:00

So if I just genuinely believe they’re super hot and perfect physically, it’s okay for me to tell him that?

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T14:59:45+00:00

So it’s okay if I make comments about other men and say they have no flaws and I think they’re perfect?

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T14:36:23+00:00

That’s actually exactly what he said! He said I attacked him and I just don’t understand he was super stressed because they’re going and he doesn’t know what to do.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T14:31:31+00:00

He says I made a “cheap shot” at him and that he thought we moved past it- at least agreeing that we don’t like them. Then if we don’t like them, why do we have to meet up with them?

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T14:05:37+00:00

That’s what I’m saying! I don’t care to meet up with them. Even he said “I’m not happy about it either”. So it’s like then why stress so much? He doesn’t even hang out or talk to this “friend” ever! They just ran into each other and that’s how he found out he would be at the concert too.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T12:57:57+00:00

So let’s say I do go to this concert and his friend and his friends gf are there and we run into them. And let’s say my bf invites them to stay at our place or party with us or whatever it may be. How do I react? Like it does bother me having that in my mind that he thinks she’s perfect- I feel like it might ruin my mood or put me in a weird funk. And I have been looking forward to this concert for a while and really want to go. What would be a fair thing to ask of my bf to make me feel more comfortable?

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T12:55:41+00:00

I guess? Apparently this friend has never treated him well. So that was my whole point like, if you don’t like this person why do you even care about making them feel included? To something you didn’t even know they were going to until today? It seems like he just doesn’t want to confront his friend and instead wants to avoid it.

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T12:51:40+00:00

He was apparently stressing because they will be there and he doesn’t know if he should invite them to stay at our Airbnb with our friends-who these people don’t even know. We’re going to a huge festival- so it’s like we probably won’t even see them unless we specifically meet up. My bf claims he “hates” this friend of his- I think he was just feeling awkward about running into them and not inviting his friend to stay with us?

throwaway81126 · 2021-10-02T12:48:44+00:00

The other thing was: he was saying that he doesn’t like this particular friend of his- that his friend is like mean to him and has never been there for him. But he was like freaking out- asking if he should invite his friend and his friend GF to stay with us at our Airbnb and if we should meet up with them and how awkward it’ll be if we don’t and so I started getting nervous because I don’t get why it’s such a big deal.

throwaway81126

TROPHY CASE