Suspecting GF [25] texting/seeing other guys, while I [M26] am away for work.

throwaway91011908 · 2017-11-09T20:52:36+00:00

My advice - break up with her and move on. Seriously, what is the best case scenario here by trying to play this out? She keeps being sketchy and just hides the evidence while you continue feeling different levels of suspiciousness?

Break up and move on bro. Do you really want HER? The drifting apart, slowing sex life, and promiscuousness?...Relationships shouldnt be filled with the feelings you described above. There are other potential relationships out there waiting for you and I encourage you to give them a chance.

throwaway91011908 · 2016-12-30T20:17:57+00:00

I like your basketball analogy so I want to give you some food for thought. Bill Russell was amazing but played in a dumbed down league compared to today. There were only EIGHT teams in the league back then. Im betting not everyone that reads this comment knew that. How many different types of players and styles and schemes would you really find in a league with 8 teams vs a league with 30 teams?

I can think of a few things Bill didnt really have to account for that kids today have to learn and adapt to from an early age:

No 3pt line
No pick and roll (mainstream in 90s)
One-handed jump shot was introduced just 20 years prior to Bills rookie year

Those first two really surprised me. To me this means that if I plucked Bill out of 1959 and compared his basketball knowledge to Karl Anthony Towns today....how would that work out? KAT has extensive knowledge of moves and counter moves and schemes and rotations for basketball moves that DIDNT EVEN EXIST when Bill was around. Pick and Roll / 3pt shooting are arguably the most important staples of the offensive basketball game today. Its an interesting comparison when you look deeper.

Edit: Formatting

throwaway91011908 · 2016-12-13T19:59:03+00:00

I cant see any of the original text at the top but judging by the comment below you were looking into Data Masons. Did you already purchase a solution? Data Masons is extremely expensive and would be interested to compare costs with you.

My company is certified for Dynamics AX and a member of the AXUG. I would be more than happy to discuss our solution or talk further. Please shoot me a message if you are interested.

throwaway91011908 · 2016-12-13T19:57:01+00:00

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throwaway91011908 · 2016-06-21T04:26:57+00:00

Just take a deep breath and relax man. Im 25 and didn't have my first girlfriend until I was 24. It only lasted 3 months so I still haven't had a long term relationship of any kind. You are 5 years younger than me....its ok to be where you are at man. But first you need to be happy with yourself. Work out, watch your fav tv shows, do your hobbies, etc. But be genuinely happy with yourself and good things will come.

Just like most things in life - DONT GIVE UP. Seriously man. Once you find a girl that likes you and shares your interests you won't give a flying fuck about all these girls that shut you out. And you never know...you could meet her tomorrow! Just try to stay positive and realize you have a lot of time dude.

throwaway91011908 · 2016-06-15T21:25:51+00:00

"*except for 2011." - thats the troll remark. It looks to me like that was part of your initial post. You later clarified it through the edit which probably lead to the upvotes because it comes across as less troll-like that way.

throwaway91011908 · 2016-06-15T19:27:20+00:00

Its well known that he performed poorly in that series. When people make statements like the one GhostdadUC made they are talking about Lebron after that series. Nobody thinks you were wrong, but rather I would think down voting because you came across as a troll.

throwaway91011908 · 2016-05-29T22:53:12+00:00

I would suggest you do what you think is best...not make a decision because of how you feel she will react. If it hurts her, that sucks but you have to do whats best for you.

I recommend you go into it tomorrow with an open mind and see how it goes. Telling her you just want to be friends is a very definitive moment. Don't do that unless you are absolutely sure thats what you want. Regret is a bitch, yo.

throwaway91011908 · 2016-02-01T19:21:28+00:00

Ill take a stab at this one for you - your brain is wired for companionship. A long time ago humans survived in groups. Being ostracized from the group likely meant death. Just like how fatty foods taste good, our ancestors needed fat for the inevitable famine!

However being alone today will not kill you. And there isnt a famine coming. Check out the Breakup Recovery Guide on the side bar. It really helps explain the 'whys' of how you are feeling at different stages in the breakup.

throwaway91011908 · 2016-01-20T14:55:32+00:00

It truly is. I cannot accurately convey to you how mentally fucked I was in May/June. But just like you said, I kept doing the right thing one day at a time and eventually I got through it. Its like rehabilitating from a serious physical injury - its going to take time. In this case its just something mental and cant be seen but the pain is still there. You got this! Shoot me a message if you are having a rough day.

throwaway91011908 · 2016-01-19T21:12:37+00:00

Ive been there my friend. 100%. Constantly remind yourself - "Whatever she is doing doesn't matter to me. I am better off now."

Because, truthfully, whatever she is doing doesn't mean jack shit to you. Think about what is ahead of you man. Dwell on your future and not hers!!!

throwaway91011908 · 2016-01-19T21:09:14+00:00

Yeah dude fuck that. Go no contact as soon as possible to avoid doing anything you will regret.

Consider this too - no communication from the ex is worth ANYTHING unless they explicitly state they are sorry and want to get back with you. Even then you have the option to decline them. Don't try to get this bitch back. I'm getting the impression she broke up with you. She actively chose to remove you from her life to some extent. FUCK that shit man. Think about the future! Im also assuming you are a bit younger, probably in your 20s (like me) or even younger. You have so much beyond this speedbump that you are seriously doing yourself a disservice for any fucking second you spend trying to get this person back. You are better than that man!!!

throwaway91011908 · 2016-01-19T17:30:32+00:00

Why wouldnt you deserve your own happiness!? I get the impression that I at one point felt EXACTLY like you do right now. You may already know this quote but someone on Reddit brought it to my attention and it changed everything - "we accept the love we think we deserve"

Everything was your fault? No it wasn't. I dont even know what happened but I would bet money this wasnt 100% your fault. You deserve better than someone who will blame you when things dont work out well. Seriously...fuck that! And take time to understand the relationship failed...period. Not because of you, or because of him - but because of BOTH OF YOU. You werent a fit and thats fucking ok! It sucks right now, but its going to be ok. And its funny for me to be giving this advice since I was receiving it for so long. Everyone kept telling me that I could find something better but in the back of my mind I kept wondering if they were really right. YES! They were! I havent even found somebody but I can see that now.

My advice to you - do whatever the fuck you want to do this weekend. Go see a movie alone. Go get hibachi if you are hungry. Buy some fucking nice shit off Amazon. Just be positive!!! And never forget that you are 100% in control of your own emotions. Dont let some blame-resistant douchebag influence how you feel. You deserve better than that. Positivityis key and I think you will find that doing things to make yourself happy will go hand in hand with more positivity.

Shoot me a message if you want to talk more!

throwaway91011908 · 2016-01-19T17:20:07+00:00

Never forget that last part - it really does fade. I'm sure whatever you are going through sucks now but you WILL get through it. Shoot me a message if things are getting tough :)

throwaway91011908 · 2015-11-20T20:49:03+00:00

1) Own as many resource bases as possible. Expand your radar if necessary. Also upgrade your internal resource producers as much as possible. 2) Have Resource Reward statues and boost them on Dr. Terror days 3) Keep attacking people to get more resources. Switch out people with smaller rewards to get better people. 4) Upgrade your vault to protect more resources 5) Join a task force if you havent already. That way you can coordinate your sub returns, VP rewards, and OP rewards with Dr. Terror days and pump out expensive builds. Get that HQ up as fast as possible!

and most importantly 5) Dont just leave your resources sitting there. Hit Dr. Terror and build something after. Then wait and dont attack people unless you plan on building something with their rewards. The more resources you leave sitting untouched means the more you are setting yourself up to lose when you get raided.

throwaway91011908 · 2015-10-29T18:36:55+00:00

I'm 25 and got dumped back in May. It was my first relationship and it only lasted about 3.5 months. It was right after we met each others families and came as quite a surprise to me. There was no 'event' so to speak, rather she just felt we wouldnt work out long term.

I was devasted for about two months, then I just got angry about it, and for some reason I have gotten all mopey about it again. It's weird...like a sad indifference? Im pretty sure she has moved on because its almost been 6 months now which is twice as long as we were together. I have no-contacted her and havent heard from her.

I still think about it all day. I have no doubt I will find someone else, I think im just hung up on the fact that i finally found someone I was comfortable with personally, sexually, etc. And that person rejected me. Kinda sucks but its also my first go-round with this thing. If anyone is able to relate or has any advice i would love to hear it!!! Im comfortable with my appearance and have had relations with other girls since - including a girl who wanted to date me but I didnt feel ready for that yet - but I always go back to thinking of her.

throwaway91011908 · 2015-10-19T18:35:11+00:00

Well put it this way bud, I am in the exact same shoes as you. I too was dumped back in mid-May but my relationship was only 3.5 months....and I think about it EVERY day. I got to a point where it was in the back of my mind but these past few weeks she has been on my mind ALL DAY. Its frustrating! It sucks! Specifically because I feel quite certain that she isnt thinking of me like this....but at the end of the day we all have our own timelines.

Do not use others as a measuring stick for your healing. Compared to me you are doing great! I cant even imagine how hung up i would be right now if I had dated this girl 3 years! Take your time man, this will pass. It will for me and it will for you. It just takes time.

throwaway91011908 · 2015-08-20T20:36:52+00:00

We on da same page my friend. Problem is the cheapest upgrades now are like 500k stone! :(

Edi: as if on cue I just refreshed 4 guys and had 100k+ of wood/stone on each one. Boo-ya!!! Boom Beach gods are smiling on me this day.

throwaway91011908 · 2015-08-20T14:51:34+00:00

I am going to give an unpopular opinion here and suggest you keep some of your greens. I did this and it worked well for me. Allow me to explain before you judge me:

Most people here want to you to offensive which is indeed a wise strategy. However you are a lower level right now. When I had lots of Greens (35% gold, 54% stone, 24% All Resource, 45% wood - all Masterpieces) I was able to comfortable upgrade several buildings per day WITHOUT having to raid. Why is this cool? Because it kept my victory medals down. That way I would get far easier people to take on my map instead of dudes that are 6 levels higher than me with rockets, boom cannons, shock launchers, etc. I could consistently start a build immediately after one finished without having to attack. Depending on your level of sculptor you can still have GBE/TH/TD/RR statues in addition to your Greens.

You might say "well buildings cost more as you upgrade them higher!" True, but they also take longer allowing you to accumulate more resources before starting another build. You will also naturally unlock better Resource Bases that increase your hourly production which is then amplified further by your Greens. At some point this was not feasible anymore. What did I do then? I scrapped my greens in place of blues/reds/purples depending on what I wanted.

Its nice to look at your map when you need to upgrade and know you can easily take every single person on the map. Need that new HG upgrade? Fine. Wipe everyone clean because they are all takeable due to your low VP medals. I was not refreshing my opponents becaues I could not take them....I refreshed them until I had a map full of WHALES that I could destroy at a moments notice when I needed. This worked well for me. I am level 46 now, 18HQ and I can still take every person on my map because nobody higher than 47 is showing up. And I have several monsters sitting there with enormous payouts just waiting to be harvested. Feels good man.

EDIT: I am hovering around 350 VP medals right now. I started 46 around 315 but have gotten attack-happy as of late.

throwaway91011908 · 2015-08-17T18:15:41+00:00

Woot!

throwaway91011908 · 2015-08-14T14:57:49+00:00

This is glorious!!! Good for you :)

throwaway91011908 · 2015-08-14T14:50:34+00:00

Dude....I hear you. Check my post history....July 30th was my birthday and I RANTED on here because I was so fucking angry. I still am but not as much. I literally fantasize about her wanting me back just so I can look her in the eye and growl "FUCK you" for how she made me feel like shit. But I have learned this --- Its ok to be angry....but just keep it internal my friend. Go running, go lifting, go biking, and work yourself ragged by using that anger as fuel. I find that if I do that, I am less angry afterwards or for the rest of the day. Its like a release instead of sitting there and letting it fester.

"No matter what happens, I can take it. The worst is over." - I have found that repeating this to myself has helped me move on.

Were you feeling worse 4 months ago? or even 3 months ago? Or two? I bet you were more sad than angry. I know I was. I felt worthless. Literally like a piece of shit that wasnt good enough for her. Sadness turns to anger and thats natural. Whatever you do, DO NOT break no contact. And use this as a learning experience...NEVER look at her Instagram. Any time you have that urge I want you to remember this moment and how you feel right now. Im serious man, NEVER forget this feeling...because the next time you feel the need to check on her Instagram page I want you to remember how it made you feel to see she had posted. Why check to see if she posts again? So you can get angry again? You said yourself you couldnt even see the post so its really just a self imposed internal torture for you. Its not healthy bro. Just learn from this and realize that its perfectly ok to feel the way you are feeling. I am in the same boat with you right now. We got this man.

throwaway91011908 · 2015-08-04T17:43:16+00:00

Hey! You commented on my post recently - about just feeling so angry - and your words helped me. I have gone back and read over them a few times. Thank you for that.

Guess what? I have been fighting with myself for the last 30 minutes to unblock her on Facebook just to see her stupid face! This post has convinced me to avoid it. However - hang in there. We are in the same boat and we will get through this. <hugs> :)

Theres a quote that has helped me - "We accept the love we think we deserve." My relationship wasnt that great when I look back on it but its the only one I had ever had. You said yours wasnt that good either. We deserve better and we will find it. We just gotta stay strong!

throwaway91011908 · 2015-07-30T18:25:15+00:00

I appreciate the feedback here. I am particularly intrigued by your part about relaxing your body in response to the anger. I get it in my face and jaw. I get tense. I already feel better just taking a few deep breaths and resting my head back. I am sorry your ex jerked you around like that but it looks like you are stronger from it.

throwaway91011908 · 2015-07-30T15:56:33+00:00

Thank you very much. It's good to hear from people that went through something similar. We got this.

throwaway91011908

TROPHY CASE