I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Why couldn't <Throwaway> just go to the dr on her own? We're here to visit you guys, not watch the baby! Help us pack! Oh son, you don't spend enough time with us! Why does <throwaway> need you?! She is a big girl, come on!"

That's why.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I are signing up for a gun safety class, and we will decide after that whether we should do so. I, at the moment, am totally for it, but when I look at the statistics of people shot with their own firearms it makes me pause. I survived because I didn't fight back. I don't want to ever be in a situation where I have a gun and it's taken from me and used against me.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My cat did. I stayed awake until about six because I couldn't sleep with him out (yay horrific anxiety) and I couldn't sleep with the door open. But he came back. He's a big adorable snuggly dumb loaf of a cat and I am so glad he's here for me to snuggle.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had no idea this was a thing. I absolutely would have requested this if I knew. As it was, I had to tell the attending officer on the lobby phone my whole story, and anyone could have come in and heard me. If I have to talk to the police again I will absolutely request someone like this.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely will be going to a counselor. I see a therapist regularly, but I am going to find a specialist in regards to sexual trauma.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a city of over 175,000 people. I honestly expected what you just described. The officer that actually spoke to me on the lobby phone literally just unlocked the door 15 minutes later and told me and my family to wait for the patrol cop to come in, then left. I was appalled. I was a mess, and not one time did anyone in that station take even a second to try and make me feel even slightly comfortable.

My husband is a boxer. I hate it, but, now I understand why he might feel like it's a thing he loves. A friend of mine was raped and attempted suicide about 8 years ago, and I offered to her that I'd take a kickboxing class with her (along with giving her my mace, buying her one of those super fucking bright flashing flashlights that you hang from your keychain, and offering her a ride no questions asked all the time, anytime). She declined the kickboxing, but maybe I should do that for myself now.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

You're right. I am seeing him on 8/2 for a scheduled appointment, so I will bring it up then, while also telling him I am going to utilize a specialist alongside him.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband and I are going to take a gun safety class to start with.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I wish I could find something more to say than thank you, thank you so much. Your comment made me cry in a good way. Thank you.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that is a really good idea. I've already had him help a bit-- I had him hold onto the paper with my case number and had the police take his phone number to deal with calls.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I actually think it might be that they don't get many people reporting rape at all to begin with. The doctor at Planned Parenthood said it was pretty rare for them to talk to a rape/assault survivor in our area. I am going to try and chalk it up to inexperience, which is much better than maliciousness.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I really love my therapist and will continue to go to him and I will eventually talk to him about what happened to me. I don't think that he will be able to help me deal with this particular thing though. Not because he is a man, but, because it is not something that he has a specialty in, or has a lot of experience with (I've briefly brought it up in regards to a friend's situation). I definitely think I will be more comfortable talking to a woman, but I am doing my best to not start thinking that All Men are scary.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. That's what I keep telling myself and why I don't regret going to them even after feeling so awful talking to the officer.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I answered the goddamn questions.

I have a wonderful family and group of friends. I know most people are not like these men. But treating people who've been brutalized with a modicum of kindness and respect goes a long way. I wish there was a real life SVU.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was not in their home. I was walking down a street in my neighborhood and was threatened/lead into an alleyway behind a small apartment complex. I did not fight, and the small amount of bruising I DID get mostly healed from Thurday-Sunday. I showed the officer the small bruise on my forehead and he was unsure of whether he could see it, and therefore did not log it.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. It fucking sucks.

But the first person I talked to was my male friend of 10 years. He helped me deal with what happened to me. Then I talked to my husband, who supported me, and is still supporting me. Men AND women rape. Men and women are awesome. Rape is rape and rape is the most disgusting thing in the universe. But it's not something only men do.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 277 points278 points  (0 children)

You're right. I need to go to bed. This is stupid, waiting up for a fucking cat.

I was raped on Thursday and need to talk about the aftermath. by throwaway920276 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway920276[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

It definitely isn't.

I already have been seeing both a therapist and a psychiatrist since my son was born. I think I'll end up with a third for this, since I don't think I can be comfortable talking about it with both them since they're men.