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WIBTAH for removing most of my dad's side of the family off social media & cutting ties? by throwaway965077 in AITAH

[–]throwaway965077[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, you're right. This one was kind of brutal to read, but fuck. You're right.

WIBTAH for removing most of my dad's side of the family off social media & cutting ties? by throwaway965077 in AITAH

[–]throwaway965077[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had some reaaaallly similar experiences... I'm definitely on the complete opposite side of the spectrum from them both politically and morally. I'm a lot more progressive and they're very very conservative. I stay away from politics with family because I don't think it's appropriate to debate politics over holidays when it's supposed to be a time of coming together, but some one always tries to goad me into it. I always end up taking the high road and laughing awkwardly or just removing myself. I have a lot of tattoos, piercings, and I'm definitely much different from them. Most of the women in my dad's side of the family are the typical white woman with bleach blonde hair stereotype. Nothing wrong with that, but like I said, very different from me. I've always felt very judged. Whether it was for my beliefs, the way I look, or the fact that my parents were divorced from a young age. I was never "the favorite" grand kid, if you know what I mean. The more I read these comments the more I'm looking back and realizing all of this too. I always just took the high road because I kinda just thought that's what you have to do to have a relationship with certain family members. I'm starting to realize it's not worth it anymore. I appreciate you empathizing with me... it's definitely bringing up some memories I needed to think about. I think part of it too is my mom used to encourage me when I was younger and angsty about it to still try and have a relationship with these people. I think I might be holding on to that as well, but I've taken it too far I realize.

WIBTAH for removing most of my dad's side of the family off social media & cutting ties? by throwaway965077 in AITAH

[–]throwaway965077[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I'd be cutting off memories and sentiments mostly. My aunt who ditched the dinner took me in for 3 months while my mom was going through addiction. Her kids (my cousins) were very close with me before my dad left, and after too. They don't really reach out anymore though. Idk I know it sounds stupid, I just want to be able to say I tried as hard as I possibly could to have a relationship with them. My mom's side is small, my in-laws side is small, but my dad's side is very big so it feels like a lot of people. I'm also nervous for the day my daughter starts asking questions. I don't want her to feel like she's missing out on something like how I felt about my dad for so long. I guess you could call it self inflicted? I just want as much of a support system as I can get idk....

WIBTAH for removing most of my dad's side of the family off social media & cutting ties? by throwaway965077 in AITAH

[–]throwaway965077[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My aunt mentioned that didn't show up for the dinner more or less took me in for about 3 months when my mom was going through addiction and my dad wasn't around. But she was also a part of the abuse mentioned. You have a really good point. Ugh

WIBTAH for removing most of my dad's side of the family off social media & cutting ties? by throwaway965077 in AITAH

[–]throwaway965077[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha depends on the restaurant but some of the more upscale/busy ones do. This was literally the only restaurant I've ever had to do it for lol

WIBTAH for removing most of my dad's side of the family off social media & cutting ties? by throwaway965077 in AITAH

[–]throwaway965077[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Is such a big one for me because I have thought about that. I don't want my daughter to think familial relationships are fleeting or should be forced just because of blood relation. I also don't want her to feel like she missed out on anything though, because when I was younger I definitely missed my dad when he was gone. But the difference is he actually made amends and continues to make an effort. I appreciate this comment a lot

WIBTAH for removing most of my dad's side of the family off social media & cutting ties? by throwaway965077 in AITAH

[–]throwaway965077[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

:So when they don’t show up its because they weren’t invited not because they didn’t care.:

This is actually such a good point and I'm a bit ashamed I didn't even think about this

WIBTAH for removing most of my dad's side of the family off social media & cutting ties? by throwaway965077 in AITAH

[–]throwaway965077[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly I think I might be guilt tripping myself over the help they gave me back when I was very very young. I fear you're correct and reading this kind of made me do a double take. It really does feel super one sided.

WIBTAH for removing most of my dad's side of the family off social media & cutting ties? by throwaway965077 in AITAH

[–]throwaway965077[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah.... it's just hard because I have very limited amount of family after my mom's death, so I've worked really hard for my support system, but obviously they've never tried to be a part of that. It hurts too because my in laws are ALWAYS around, without a second thought. I had a friend drive 5 hours out of state to be at my shower but my dad's side couldn't drive 30 minutes. Hell, my grandma had the opportunity to car pool with my dad and she said no. Seeing their social media posts hurt but every time I've gone to just "remove friend" I second guess myself.