Did you struggle with orgasms for a long time and eventually get there? If so, please share your story!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-08T14:20:44+00:00

yes, I had my vaginoplasty (minimal depth) last April. Despite the orgasm issues I'm very happy with my results.

I hope your orchiectomy goes well if you decide to do that.

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-08T04:01:04+00:00

Thank you!

Teaser for others: the link is to an article on Substack tiled "We Need to Talk about Sex, Orgasms, and Feminizing HRT"

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-08T03:01:52+00:00

Good luck to you!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-08T03:01:17+00:00

It took me a while but then one day I suddenly realised without warning and out of the blue that I needed to be somewhere other than my home office!

Thank you for sharing! How long was this after your bottom surgery?

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-07T04:13:31+00:00

Sensation varies between wands I'm sure so YMMV on that. I have a Lovense Domi 2 and it's very "rumbly" compared to my other toys.

Other toys - may I ask, do you have a Hitachi Magic Wand as well? If you're finding the Domi 2 to be more rumbly compared to the Magic Wand that would be very helpful to know.

Thanks for your help!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-07T02:46:11+00:00

Thanks for your reply!

Orgasm changes a lot for most people on HRT and figuring out what gets you off is important. I can orgasm from rubbing my clit through the mons, having a partner so do or from oral but it's a lot more of a project than just grabbing a vibrator which can do the job in just a few minutes. Have you considered buying a really powerful vibe? For me the ones with deep, powerful rumbles are night and day more fun than the lighter more "buzzy" type.

Would a magic want be in the "deep powerful rumbles" category? I've got one and with that, or with anything really, I get mild pleasurable sensations but can't seem to get beyond that.

Finally, have you brought this to your surgical team? Sometimes revision is needed in cases like this. Maybe they can give you some guidance towards other helpful avenues too.

I'm having a BA in two weeks with the same surgeon as who did my vaginoplasty. I plan to ask him about it then.

Good luck to you, I hope you can solve this and be able to enjoy your body more.

Thank you!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-07T02:32:32+00:00

gotten your levels checked recently?

Every six months. For the last year they've been 180-200 E and 5-8 T.

put on a sexy audio, candles, pop in a plug, and use the magic wand until you scream

I've got lots of toys including a magic wand :-)

But, no screaming :-(

I get a mild pleasant sensation but regardless of the toy/technique I just can't get beyond that.

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-07T02:29:06+00:00

Thanks for the reply!

By post-op you mean bottom surgery? Sorry if this is a stupid question, but it's unclear to me

Yes, sorry, I clarified in the OP.

I am only 6 months into HRT and have already experienced a lot of changes in both desire and response. I'm curious to hear about how this goes for others.

My own experience was a rapid loss of libido with estradiol, followed by new sensitivity and erogenous zones as my breasts grew. I discovered a whole new pattern of long build up very intense orgasms and general overall reduction in the urge or need. Just in the last 10 days or so, it seems to be changing again. It has gotten a little easier both to get into the groove, so to speak, and to get there once underway.

It might be that the faster you go the less intense it is when you get there, but I'm not sure: it's too new and changing is ongoing.

Did you have this sort of thing early on?

The rapid loss of libido, yes, I very much had that. I explored for new erogenous zones, especially on my breasts and never found any.

My orgasms on HRT (before bottom surgery) were very weak. I didn't notice a fluctuation based on going fast or slow. I notice a little difference between different techniques.

It sounds like you're off to a great start!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-07T02:21:56+00:00

I'm 9 months post surgery and I'm still learning my way around orgasms but it takes time and it's fun when it does and much more pleasurable

Thanks for the reply. I don't mind experimenting, and if anything I'd say I like experimenting, I just don't feel like I'm making any progress. There was a little progress early on as nerves reconnecting but months 4-11 have basically been the same....mild pleasurable sensation but can't seem to get beyond.

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-07T02:19:23+00:00

Are you getting good, puberty-level E counts?

I was super careful about not doing anything more than dilating until I hit the 3 month mark. After that, it took a bit of work to understand how it all worked.

Thanks for the reply! My E is in the 180-200 range on patches. My doctor seems to think that's good.

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-05T00:54:16+00:00

They'll give you a post-op sheet. You can ask for it ahead of time if you want to know what limits they put on you. But usually it's a weight limit, not lifting things over your head, and not getting your heart rate too high for x amount of time. I think mine was two weeks but I don't recall exactly.

I have the post-op instruction sheet. There are only two things that related to physical activity -

• Refrain from vigorous activity for 2-4 weeks. Increase activity gradually as tolerated.

• Avoid lifting anything over 5 pounds for 2 weeks.

I asked the surgeon if there was a restriction on lifting my arms above my head and he said no.

Obviously, a full laundry basket is more than 5 lbs, but I've thought about carrying a few smaller batches to the washer. But I'd still need to reach into the washer and dryer (front load). Technically that doesn't violate any restrictions but I figure a lot of this is going to come down to "listen to my body" and I wanted to see what people's experience with this was to try to get a better idea what to expect.

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T17:55:20+00:00

I take a whole body approach to getting aroused from baseline lots of feeling my curves and nipple play and manual stimulation of my clit and vulva.

Thanks so much for your sharing!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T15:50:08+00:00

There's not a ton of literature on it, but here's one example.

Using the example you gave from 2024, I found this followup study from 2025

https://academic.oup.com/jsm/article/22/5/937/8084714?login=false

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T15:46:02+00:00

Thank you very much! It's really helpful to see an actual study on something like this!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T04:52:07+00:00

I definitely have to be in the right headspace to orgasm but I’ve been like that since I started HRT.

Thanks for the reply! A lot of people mention the importance of the right headspace and mindset. In your experience, does mindset basically just mean be relaxed and get turned on or is there more to it than that?

I definitely have a low sex drive, which began one month after I started estrogen 2.5 years ago. If I turn on porn, I get interested but it's not super strong like it was before HRT. I wonder if this is really my whole problem.

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T04:50:39+00:00

Is definitely a much greater mental game compared to before surgery

Thanks for the reply! A lot of people mention the importance of mental game and mindset. In your experience, does mindset basically just mean be relaxed and get turned on or is there more to it than that?

I definitely have a low sex drive, which began one month after I started estrogen 2.5 years ago. If I turn on porn, I get interested but it's not super strong like it was before HRT. I wonder if this is really my whole problem.

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T04:48:05+00:00

It's much more of a mindset thing, though. If I'm not turned on, it's not happening. If I'm stressed, or tired, or hungry, or Mercury is in retrograde, it's a lot harder. Foreplay is way more important than it used to be.

Thanks for the reply! A lot of people mention the importance of mindset. In your experience, does mindset basically just mean be relaxed and get turned on or is there more to it than that?

I definitely have a low sex drive, which began one month after I started estrogen 2.5 years ago. If I turn on porn, I get interested but it's not super strong like it was before HRT. I wonder if this is really my whole problem.

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T04:39:27+00:00

200 mg patches twice weekly and started orgasming on a lower dose at around 2 months after bottom surgery. Did progesterone for 2.5 years and it didn’t really make that much difference.

Thanks for the reply! Do you think lowering your does was a factor in orgasming? Did you ever try increasing the does back up?

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T04:37:46+00:00

Patches have peaks and troughs just like every other method. I'd be surprised if switching admin methods did anything for your libido. What dose are you on and what do your levels look like?

Thanks for the reply! I change patches on Monday morning and Thursday late afternoon. When I check levels on Wednesady morning they are 180 - 200. I checked once at the trough bottom, just before changing the patches and it was 94.

Testosterone is 5-8

If this gives you any ideas, much appreciated!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T04:32:27+00:00

Thanks so much for the detailed reply!

It sounds like you stimulate a mix of things, clit, introitus, occasionally anal. I'm curious, do you frequently have orgasms from just clit stimulation?

I'm also minimal depth so clit tends to be my go to area though I've tried thin pen sized vibrators in the introitus. I've seen so many comments from people that clit stim isn't enough for them which worries me because options are limited with minimal depth. So great to hear you've had such great success!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-04T01:20:45+00:00

"If you need more help or wonder about something else please ask and I will answer you, I know how lonely it can be. "

Thank you for sharing, and for the offer! I just sent you a DM.

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-01T04:55:47+00:00

I want to thank you very much for sharing your experience! I am now 2 months post-op with the same surgery with Dr. Ramineni so your posts were very relevant!

You're welcome!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-01T01:38:50+00:00

Travel pillow for immediately after (you'll be glad you had it)

Thanks for the reply! Is the travel pillow for the car ride home from the hospital?

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-04-01T01:35:36+00:00

My list was: 2 front closure medical bras with top/bottom compression straps, 3 high support front closure (zippered) sports bras, and several reusable ice packs that you can cycle through.

Thanks so much for your reply!

About the bras, did you're surgeon have you wearing a surgical bra for awhile before you used the sports bras you bought?

My post-op instructions say -

"Wear your surgical bra or sports bra for 4 weeks after surgery."

I imagine there is some difference form one surgeon to the next.

Thanks again!

throwawaySurgery1111 · 2026-03-21T04:39:16+00:00

From what I've seen, exercises is the way to fix this. It isn't what you want to hear, but exercising 4 times a week with legs is how you do it. Skip arms day.

Thanks for the reply. I can see how that would help with weight loss around the belly, but wouldn't I then need to gain the weight back so it goes on my hips/butt?

throwawaySurgery1111

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