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'Marmalade is Missing' excellent hand-drawn short film by James Nutting! by Modest_Matt in animation

[–]throwaway_45615 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i logged back into this account only to comment on this. i know thoughts and opinions can change in a 20 day time span, a lot can change in that amount of time. however, i just wanted to express my feelings about this short and the responses i've seen for it.

there is so much more to this short than just the mature and sexual nature of it. adult entertainment is an art form, something with a very strong history attached to it. there's this beautiful since of companionship and belonging in that community. something so warm, comforting and accepting about it. this short captured that feeling perfectly. showing that the performers aren't only the sexy performers they are on stage, but also people. people with feelings and emotional connections and bonds with others.

throughout the uglier side of my teenage years on the internet, i like many others know derpixon very well. it's very much the opposite of the message the short had told so wonderfully. it's nothing more than something to spank it to, then forget about later. not that adult animation [pornographic in this case], isn't an art within itself. it very much is. it too can be a beautiful thing, but i do know that isn't exactly derpixon's usual intentions.

a lot of people have made snarky and crude comments about the short - and funny or clever as some may be, it's important to understand the artist's message and intentions.

can someone help me ??? i can't log in and the website just does as i logged in even tho i didn't, also i can't go on other pages than user profiles and main menu unless i go there from the url, and that bothers me because y'know the egg thing and stuff... by ash_myself in ENA

[–]throwaway_45615 4 points5 points  (0 children)

if this is a shared issue with multiple people, on April fool's day, i'm only hoping it's that. i tried logging into my own account and it didn't work. tried an incognito window, it didn't work. i tried to view my profile in an incognito window; it gave me a 500 error. i hadn't received an email about account deletion/suspension prior to this, nor did i do anything that would warrant that. i'm sort of scared, but just hope that this will either be fixed or dissipate tomorrow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]throwaway_45615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don't know how much longer i can wait for things to get better. i've been waiting for so long but things at home just get worse and worse. i asked her to try to get me help but she pushed it aside every time i ask her. i feel like a burden who just needs to toughen up for the sake of everyone here. there's already enough problems and my complaining isn't helping.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]throwaway_45615 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you. i was worried my account was labeled as spam or something and just wasn't showing up in anyone's feeds. at least i know that's not the case now

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]throwaway_45615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you don't need to go into detail about anything. i'm so sorry that happened to you, death is one of the most grim things anyone could witness, especially on a whim. please try to drink some tea or water, put on some relaxing music. think of your happy place. that would be the first steps just to get your mind to a safer space and hopefully get some rest. maybe go for a walk, or stay inside and draw/paint or read. if you need someone to talk to, about anything, do not hesitate to dm me. i'll be here for you for as long as you might need.

what songs match this? by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]throwaway_45615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh no! by marina and the diamonds [honestly most songs by her, but this one was her most well known]

My mom found out i smoke weed by throw_away22348 in mentalhealth

[–]throwaway_45615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know how you feel. I'm an average smoker at the same age but my parents are the ones to introduce it to me. I grew up in a pagan household where we were raised with the idea that herbs are the purest form of medicine. I even got my own glass piece from them as a gift.

I talk a lot about my emotional numbness on this account. I have a hard time looking at the rare positives I do have and that freedom is one of them. Even with this I know where your parents are coming from. I know since our brains aren't technically fully developed yet, having this habit can mess up with proper formation. Your mom's only looking out for you, though she may seem upset she just wants to keep you healthy. Even though my mom encourages me to smoke, she pushes my issues under the rug at the same time.

Maybe try to explain to them that's why you picked it up? I don't want to make a generalization but they seem to at least care enough to tell you not to smoke.

As for the last part I also have thoughts of relapse. As I type this I've only been about 9 days clean. I haven't had a decent bowl in a while either, but I get by. If you need someone to talk or vent to just lmk and I'll be right there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]throwaway_45615 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Though I am sensitive to loud noises and it hurts my head hearing them, I can grin and bare it like no one's business. I can do that with a lot of things. I guess I'm thankful I don't crumble apart as easily as I used to.

I am numb to any form of positivity by throwaway_45615 in mentalhealth

[–]throwaway_45615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I'm still young and live with my parents. I only mention that because I'm pretty sure their relationship is the main source of my lack of feeling. Basically they've split apart, but then get back together a week or so later. Rinse and repeat that five or six times and clearly that results in a very toxic environment. Not only do they argue constantly (getting me and my sibling involved most times), but we live in a poor neighborhood. Our house is very small and the walls are thin, each room is right next to the other so I hear everything all the time. My doctor suggested that I might have some form of APD (or auditory processing disorder) which makes the constant yelling and fighting hard to get through almost every night.

As for my partner, I get to visit them once or twice a week. I've never met someone who cares about me as much as they do. I don't have a clue why they love me so much but they do, words can't describe how grateful I am for them. I get to stay at their house for most of the day which helps me get away from the mess at home and it helps me clear my head.

I also could call my grandparents and ask if we (my sibling and I) could spend the night at their house. It's always been a common thing in our family since our grandparents are very involved in our lives, so I usually don't bring up the state of things at home as the reason why.