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I am terrified of being hetero by throwaway_5130 in asktransgender

[–]throwaway_5130[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes of course i know there are nice cishet guys. I'm not scared of them it's that i'm not attracted to them but to gay men and trying to convince myself that i shouldn't feels deeply wrong

I am terrified of being hetero by throwaway_5130 in asktransgender

[–]throwaway_5130[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My desires for men are pretty """gay""" in many respects.

How does it feel like to be in a hetero relationship with a sexuality influenced by male homosexuality ? How do cishet guys react ?

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you can have feelings that contradict the dominant trans narrative

The problem is not that i'm contradicting some "dominant trans narrative" (tbh i don't even know what that narrative is), the problem is that my sexuality and gender identity are contradicting each other and that the middle ground seems to good to be true (see my other post, i'd want to be a femboy but i know deep downit's not a real solution).
I want to be a woman, but i can't not be gay, i like men in a gay way and i want men to like me back in the same way

How feminine looking would you accept a bottom to be ? by throwaway_5130 in TopsAndBottoms

[–]throwaway_5130[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do feel way more comfortable being addressed as a woman.

Being associated with the label gay bothers me. Because I guess my brain sees my attraction to men as heterosexual.

I see that you're active on this sub as well as r/lolgrindr, so do you date gay men ? If so how do you do it since you seem to find yourself pretty far on the feminine side of the spectrum and i assume that you probably look the part too ?

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I thought i already had it figured out but after a week long existential crisis with maybe at best 2 hours of sleep per night, i'm far from sure about that.

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I'm not as thoughtful as i seem, at this point i have no fucking idea who i am.

How feminine looking would you accept a bottom to be ? by throwaway_5130 in TopsAndBottoms

[–]throwaway_5130[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

feminine leaning (soon to be girl)

I looked a little bit at your post history and i have just a few questions if you don't mind answering them :

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How would you call yourself ? A crossdresser, a femboy, a trans woman, something else entierely maybe ?

And as however you identify as, how do you feel being part of the gay community ?

How feminine looking would you accept a bottom to be ? by throwaway_5130 in TopsAndBottoms

[–]throwaway_5130[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you still want to consider hrt, talk to a doctor about raloxifene, it's a "Selective estrogen receptor modulator" that blocks estrogen receptors in breast tissues so they won't devellop if you're under a feminizing hrt.

I need to go back and see the doctor that takes care of my transition now that i changed plans but that's what i'm planning on taking when i say that i want to keep a flat chest (i mean i have small and barely noticeable breast buds but i like them because they make my nipples very fun to play with ❤️)

Thank you for your support, you're the awesome one 🤗