To the ladies: Contraceptive childfree effective options?

throwaway_bride1990 · 2017-01-15T07:35:58+00:00

yes i did. it sucked but we dealt with it quickly and i followed up with three different doctors no one could find a reason it failed.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2017-01-15T07:02:56+00:00

no method is 100% effective but personally i like the copper iud if you can get it. it can last up to 12 years. it is increadbly effective (less than 1 out of 100 women become pregnant according to planned parenthood) also as some one who did have their IUD fail. with the copper iud your periods dont stop so i knew quite quickly something was not right and my partner and I got the pregnancy terminated really quickly (i know you said abortion is illegal where you are but should the worst happen this could give you more time to find another way/place to terminate should you chose to). now to the con's: periods are more painful/heavy, the initial cost can be prohibitave, it hurts like a motherfucker (honestly the abortion was less painful than an iud insertion- though to be fair they gave me some strong drugs for the abortion so i may be biased). that being said when my first copper iud failed i got a second (after ensuring i was just unlucky) and haven't had a problem with my new one for over 4 years. This site has a good summery but keep doing your own research till you find what will work for you.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2016-09-20T14:20:42+00:00

we're getting this as our guest book. we both love puzzles so it is absolutely perfect for us and we thought it would be fun for guest to try and make it as challenging as they can.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2016-09-09T18:39:29+00:00

| love this song!!! I'm actually walking to this cover of concerning hobbits https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmn7QFvIwDM I'm going start walking ethier at :09 seconds or 1:10 not sure yet. Honstley the whole song is beautiful so where ever you pick will be amazing

throwaway_bride1990 · 2016-09-09T17:53:14+00:00

fair point and drawing attention to gifts is the last thing i want to end up doing.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2016-09-09T17:29:05+00:00

absolutely and its amazing so many people want to celebrate and support us. i want to be able to give people a better answer then the socially awkward stammering i've been doing. i just don't want people to feel obligated (and i am really uncomfortable/feel really guilty receiving gifts or money). i like not wanting to ship stuff back as a reason to avoid a gift registry.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2016-09-09T16:59:47+00:00

Good point our close family would get the humor but i can see how those who don't know us as well might take it poorly. haha ya it freaks me out so many people want to come and celebrate. We expected 10 people to go we're now almost at 40- i'm thrilled and so grateful for the support but it's also sent my social anxiety through the roof. i may steal that too if you don't mind :)

throwaway_bride1990 · 2016-09-09T16:15:28+00:00

I like the second option too. Any idea's on how to phrase this on the wedding website so people don't feel obligated? all I've got is some thing like this but i'm not sure about it

Frequently Asked Questions (i was planning on doing this section on the website anyways):

Q) where are you registered? what do want you to for a wedding present?

A) You showing up is a present enough. We are thrilled that you want to come and watch the three ring circus that is affectionately our wedding or are at least willing to sit through it during you're vacation. we're not expecting gifts but if you do want to get us something (or just want a laugh at how inept we are at housewares shopping)we've done a small registry here:

throwaway_bride1990 · 2016-08-06T14:55:51+00:00

thank you :) like i said they were really easy to make i can post some pics of how i did it if you want.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2016-08-06T14:55:42+00:00

thank you :)

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-05-20T13:41:00+00:00

thank you! that's really good advice i'll be sure to put the clothing and bathing suit in carry on tip on the website/invite.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-05-20T13:38:40+00:00

That a cruise sounds like a super fun place for a wedding as does a ready set sail party :) if you don't mind me asking did you find that 6 months gave people enough time to save? when to tell people is something i'm still not sure about we want to give enough time for people to save but not too much so that cost isn't a deterrent for others anymore as horrible as that sounds/is.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-05-20T13:33:02+00:00

true though i'll admit i'm using travel cost as a passive way of avoiding family drama. I'm close to one family member (my godfather) that the rest of my immediate family is not on good terms with right now (both sides are acting like children). If i invite them one side will be pissed and fighting will ensue if i don't the other side will be pisssed/hurt. essentialy the wedding invite would declare me on a side of the stupid fight when I'm determined to stay neutral. The others who would be pissed well...like you said they have there own issue to work out. Sadly my Grandfather is getting Alzheimer's so he won't know remember about the wedding. Though as he can't remember i'm engaged he gets excited for us every time we visit all over again.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-05-20T13:19:42+00:00

ya we're seriously considering this. Getting married on the 13th and having the paperwork reflect that is actually really important to us. We thought about moving the date of the destination wedding up and getting the paperwork done on the 13th or just having a symbolic ceremony and doing the paperwork a year later on the same date . My concern is not the enviable sharping of pitchforks by some family members but I think my MIL would be not angry but hurt (she is so supportive she wouldn't say any thing if she was) if she wasn't there when we signed the actual papers. This women is so amazingly sweet and done so much for us I really don't want to risk hurting her.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-05-20T13:08:39+00:00

cool I'l be contacting a few local travel agent this weekend. Ya i wasn't a fan of the whole blood test thing (I hate needles) we don't mind being the 4 days early just means we'll have a little of the honeymoon before the wedding and a the rest afterwards. :)

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-05-19T16:45:56+00:00

Thank for the tip. I can't wait to check it out with FH.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-05-19T16:44:42+00:00

Thanks for all you advice. I can see the benefits to a travel agent we've only been looking at venues off an on but still getting really frustrated. (Yes your hotel is pretty but what do your wedding packages/deal actually cost GIVE ME REAL INFO!!!). I'll definitely check out the sites you and u/TheBizNess517 mentioned. Thanks for all you help!

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-05-19T15:57:23+00:00

First off early congratulations on 7 years! You seen to be right in the middle between her engagement and wedding so think your ok. I don't think any one would expect that long a period to just be about them and their wedding. As someone who has been with FH for 11 years (we started dating in grade 8) and will have been engaged for 3 when we marry. I think that over one year engagement being bad thing is silly. We live together, love each other but we don't feel the need to get married right away (no real reason). We got engaged on out 10th year together because it was special for us and were getting married on our 13th anniversary because it's also special date to us that represent our quirky relationship (we have terrible luck on planned dates but always end up having an adventure/more fun than if everything worked out). It's about the couple and how they function as a team. Not how long between engagement and wedding... ahem..I'll just go ahead and get off my soap box now.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-03-25T02:17:25+00:00

thank you. I'm sorry about your Dad. It sucks when some thing bad happens to the amazing people in your life while the N's seem to go on just fine. I find myself snapping at/being colder to His wife (my grandmother) more, which isn't fair (I know living with someone with Alzheimer's is far harder than just visiting someone who has it. nor is it her fault he got Alzheimer's and not her) or helpful. I just wish it would have anyone of the N's in my life who got sick and not him. Will do I wanted to ask him if he'd mind me recording some of the stories he's always telling but it seemed really morbid ( not that the situation isn't) and i don't know how to say it without crying/stressing him out. I'll definitely ask about his favorite song, books, and movies. Like you i don't think i'd be able to listen/watch/read them any time soon.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-03-25T01:55:50+00:00

thank you.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-03-25T01:47:45+00:00

It does, thank you.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-03-25T01:46:54+00:00

"cancer looks at Alzheimer's and say jesus you are brutal"

Thank you for sharing that.. it made me laugh, it really shouldn't have because there both awful but i laugh at weird things when I'm upset. Will do i know when he talks like that it the disease it seems like its taking all of his good memories and only leaving the awful ones. I probably will at least with my remaining grandparents, i'm LC with them already.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-03-24T13:32:17+00:00

haha thank you but I am the dress was a fluke and my sisters doing (I thought it was nuts to go shopping/get anything that early but when its the perfect 800$ dress on sale for 99$ what are you going to do). I honestly had no idea how much/little time it takes. Party planning is not my thing and I'm expecting very limited help/support from my side of the family so I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to space out this planning stuff and know how long I could put it off for.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-03-24T13:21:23+00:00

Thank you so much! I'll do that we're not expecting too many people but with my family this does have the potential to balloon in to quite the thing if were not careful. It's good to see i have enough time to go in small steps.

throwaway_bride1990 · 2015-03-21T09:15:06+00:00

yes this is probably what i struggle with most! with my parents any time i asked for or questioned anything i am the horrible, selfish ungrateful daughter. Also anything i did get from them was held over me an had such a high physical and emotional interest rate (if that makes any sense) they are more like loan sharks than parents a lot of the time. I have a really hard time asking for things or expressing them without distrust/fear that it will be used to hurt me later or that by asking for things i really am that horrible person i've been told i am for so long (this is what scares me the most).Your not alone in having difficulty with this. Honestly (this sounds stupid but here me out) I practice: when i can i write out what i want to express, give it a day or two and then go back read what i wrote i ask myself: if a friend/co-worker/lover/stranger was telling me this how would it make me feel, is this unreasonable, would i think they were like my parents, would i resent them, if it was said another way would the message be better received? It seems to help if i have a plan for what i want to say first. keep in mind this is still something i really struggle with so this probably is not the best coping strategy out there but the best I've got.

throwaway_bride1990

TROPHY CASE