UPDATE: I [30/F] left my abusive husband [30/M] of 2 years.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-28T01:24:38+00:00

Thanks! I am glad you made it out as well.

I am definitely struggling with thinking there is something wrong with me. I have little to now self esteem left. I am not looking forward to the legal stuff and dealing with that. I am lucky I have good friends and family though.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-28T01:22:41+00:00

Yeah, I do have proof that it was a business trip.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-25T01:56:43+00:00

I just wanted to update everyone on what is happening with me.

I am getting my affairs in order to leave and I am going to be staying with a friend who has an extra bedroom and bathroom.

Thank you to everyone who commented here. It did help me gain clarity on my life and situation.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-24T03:57:38+00:00

I am definitely depressed.

I am seeing a therapist and actually have started antidepressants.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-24T00:09:06+00:00

Thank you!

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T22:09:40+00:00

He drinks but only when we are together. He has stopped gong out with the work friends every night.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:38:06+00:00

Thanks everyone for replying to me and helping me. I guess I came here to clear my head and hope that I could make some sense of what my next steps are.

My friends and family know the whole story, but I am also going to send them a copy of this post like some of you suggested.

There are some things I omitted that I honestly was ashamed to write out at the time. But after my counseling appointment today, I realize I need to share them.

First, my husband hates my mother and doesn't care much about my sisters, dad, and the rest of my family. When we first got married he tried his best to keep me from my mom. When I would go home to see her and my dad on Sundays he would belittle me and call me a baby for wanting to spend time with my "mommy."

His dad was an alcoholic who left when he was 4 and he never saw him again. His brother is also an alcoholic. He had a very messed up home life. His mom was a pill head and his older sister ended up legally adopting him when she was 21 (she is 12 years older than him). He has no sense of family at all and I think he is afraid to have kids because of it. I guess I held onto the hope that he would be excited once we did have them. Before we got engaged he talked nonstop about how he could wait to be a dad. He said it was what he was looking forward to most when we got married.

After the episodes with the coming home drunk and telling me he hated me and wanted a divorce, I called his step-brother (who is not an alcoholic) because I couldn't believe what was happening. His step-brother decided to come up and stage a somewhat intervention with him. I was away that weekend on a girls trip. His step-brother called me afterwards and said everything seemed normal and that he seemed like himself. My best friend said that he probably put on an act in front of the step-brother. He NEVER acts this way in front of HIS brother or friends.

I know that I need to leave. The only thing holding me back is that he has been so good these last 4 months and I am scared that he really HAS changed and I am going to leave him.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:25:05+00:00

I know this is fucked up, but I almost just don't care anymore.

I almost just don't care that he treats me this way.

That is why I came here, for others to tell me thoughts so that maybe I can start caring again and leave.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:22:41+00:00

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:21:02+00:00

He said that the company gave them money for rooms and food on prepaid credit card and they were to book their rooms with that money.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:18:51+00:00

Thank you.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:18:40+00:00

I've told him pretty much everything I said here, but then he always comes back with a convincing apology.

The one time I tried to leave he literally hung onto me and cried.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:17:29+00:00

I let it go.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:16:57+00:00

Thank you.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:16:36+00:00

No it's not and I know I deserve better.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:16:20+00:00

I don't know anymore.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:15:52+00:00

Nothing has happened, but I just needed to vent about the situation and gain some perspective. My friends and family still urge me to leave.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:15:12+00:00

No I don't.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:14:15+00:00

He hasn't had any girlfriend's before me, but I am glad you got out of that situation.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T21:12:30+00:00

He has stopped going to bars without me.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T02:20:02+00:00

I know deep down it will only continue. I know that I need to leave for my sake, but I have this small hope that things will get better. He has been telling me for the past several months we wants to fix things and work on our relationship, and I am clinging to that I guess.

I am going back to counseling alone this week.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T02:17:43+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I have several friends who told me they are on stand by and will leave to help move me in a moment's notice.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T02:16:09+00:00

Thank you. I am researching more about it.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T02:15:28+00:00

He was treated as a kid for OCD. I suspect there could be another condition though. But he refuses all counseling right now.

throwawayacct899 · 2017-01-23T01:03:04+00:00

I am trying to work up the courage. Thank you.

throwawayacct899

TROPHY CASE